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UNIVERSITY    OF   CALIFORNIA     SAN    ulEbO 


3   1822  01138  8386 


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UNIVER«TY  OF 

CALK^Oi>NIA 

SAN  DIEGO 


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UNlVERSiTY  or  (;•.:■  CRNIA.  SAN  DIEGO 


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3   1822  01138  8386 '^  /}  ^ 


SPORT  ROYAL 


BY   THE   SAME   AUTHOR 
Uni/orm,  75  cents  each 


THE  PRISONER  OF  ZENDA 

THE  INDISCRETION  OF  THE  DUCHESS 

THE  DOLLY  DIALOGUES 

A  MAN  OF  MARK 

A  CHANGE  OF  AIR 

SPORT  ROY^ 


r 


i^i 


"  T/ie  Princess  rushed  to  the  other  door,  and,  on  finding 
it  locked,  screatned  agaitz," — P.  88. 

(Copyright,  1895,  by  Henry  Holt  &  Co.) 


SPORT   ROYAL 


AND  OTHETi  STOT^IES 


BY 


ANTHONY   HOPE 

AUTHOR  OF  "  THE  PRISONER  OF  ZENDA,"  ETC. 


KEW   YORK 

HENRY  HOLT  AND  COMPANY 
•895 


THE   MERSHON   COMPANY   PRESS, 
RAHWAY,   N.   J. 


CONTENTS. 


Sport  Royal : 

PAGE 

Chapter  I.  The  Sequel  to  the 

Ball,      . 

I 

"        II.  At  the  Hotel  Magn- 

IFIQUE, 

31 

"      III.   The  Mission  of  the 

Ruby,     . 

54 

A  Tragedy  in  Outline, 

99 

A  Malapropos  Parent,    . 

102 

How  THEY  Stopped  the  "  Run," 

IIS 

A  Little  Joke,          .... 

126 

A  Guardian  of  Morality, 

139 

Not  a  Bad  Deal,       .... 

154 

Middleton's  Model,      . 

169 

My  Astral  Body 

185 

The  Nebraska  Loadstone, 

204 

A  Successful  Rehearsal, 

216 

SPORT  ROYAL. 

<iAn  Extract  from  the  Journals 
of  Julius  Jason,  Esquire. 


CHAPTER  I. 

C^be  Sequel  to  tbe  :©aU. 

EIDELBERG  seems 
rather  a  tourist-ridden, 
liackneyed  sort  of  place 
to  be  the  mother  of  adventures. 
Nevertheless,  it  is  there  that  my 
story  begins.  I  had  been  travel- 
ing on  the  Continent,  and  came 
to  Heidelberg  to  pay  my  duty  to 
the  castle,  and  recruit  in  quiet 
after  a  spell  of  rather  laborious 
idleness  at  Homburg  and  Baden. 
At  first  sight  I  made  up  my  mind 
that  the  place  would  bore  me,  and 


2  SPORT  ROYAL. 

I  came  down  to  dinner  at  the 
hotel,  looking  forward  only  to  a 
bad  dinner  and  an  early  bed. 
The  room  was  so  full  that  I  could 
not  get  a  table  to  myself,  and,  see- 
ing one  occupied  only  by  a  couple 
of  gentlemanly  looking  men,  I 
made  for  it,  and  took  the  third 
seat,  facing  one  of  the  strangers, 
a  short,  fair  young  man,  with 
a  little  flaxen  mustache  and  a 
soldierlike  air,  and  having  the 
other,  who  was  older,  dark,  and 
clean-shaved,  on  my  left.  The 
fourth  seat  was  empty. 

The  two  gentlemen  returned 
my  bow  with  well-bred  negli- 
gence, and  I  started  on  my  soup. 
As  I  finished  it,  I  looked  up  and 
saw  my  companions  interchanging 
glances.  Catching  my  eye,  they 
both  looked  away  in  an  absent 
fashion,  each  the  while  taking  out 
of  his  pocket  a  red  silk  handker- 


SPORT  ROYAL.  3 

chief  and  laying  it  on  the  table 
by  him.  I  turned  away  for  a 
moment,  then  suddenly  looked 
again  and  found  their  eyes  on 
me,  and  I  fancied  that  the  next 
moment  the  eyes  wandered  from 
me  to  the  handkerchiefs.  I  hap- 
pened to  be  carrying  a  red  hand- 
kerchief myself,  and,  thinking 
either  that  something  was  in  the 
wind  or  perhaps  that  my  friends 
were  having  a  joke  at  my  expense 
(though,  as  I  said,  they  looked 
well-bred  men),  I  took  it  out  of 
my  pocket  and,  laying  it  on  the 
table,  gazed  calmly  in  front  of 
me,  my  eyes  naturally  falling  on 
the  fair  young  man. 

He  nodded  significantly  to  the 
older  man,  and  held  out  his  hand 
to  me.  I  shook  hands  with  him, 
and  went  through  the  same  cere- 
mony with  the  other. 

"Ah!"   said    the   young   man. 


4  SPORT  ROYAL. 

speaking  in  French,  "  you  got  her 
letter?" 

I  nodded. 

"  And  you  are  willing  ? " 

The  first  maxim  for  a  would-be 
adventurer  is  always  to  say  "  yes  " 
to  questions.  A  "  no,"  is  fatal  to 
further  progress. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered. 

"  It  will  be  made  worth  your 
while,  of  course,"  he  went  on. 

I  thought  I  ought  to  resent  this 
suggestion. 

"  Sir,"  I  said,  "  you  cannot  pos- 
sibly mean  to  suggest " 

The  young  man  laughed  pleas- 
antly. 

"  My  dear  fellow,"  he  said, 
"  ladies  have  their  own  ways  of 
paying  debts.     If   you  don't  like 

it "    and     he    shrugged     his 

shoulders. 

"  Oh,"  said  I,  smiling,  "  I  mis- 
understood you." 


SPORT  ROYAL. 


"  It  is,  of  course,"  said  the  older 
man,  speaking  for  the  first  time, 
and  in  a  loud  whisper,  "of  vi- 
tal importance  that  His  Royal 
Highness'  name  should  not  ap- 
pear." 

This  really  began  to  be  mysteri- 
ous and  interesting.     I  nodded. 

"  That  goes  without  saying," 
said  the  young  man.  "And 
you'll  be   ready  ? " 

"Ready!"  I  said.  "But 
when  ? " 

"Didn't  I  tell  you?  Oh,  six 
o'clock  to-morrow  morning." 

"  That's  early  hours." 

"  Well,  you  must,  you  know," 
he  answered. 

"And,"  added  the  older  man, 
"the  countess  hopes  you'll  come 
to  breakfast  afterward  at  ten." 

"  I'll  be  there,  never  fear,"  said 
I,  "and  it's  very  kind." 

"  Bravo  !  "  said  the  young  man, 


6  SPORT  ROYAL. 

clapping  me  on  the  shoulder  (for 
we  had  risen  from  table).  "You 
take  it  the  right  way." 

As  may  be  supposed,  I  was 
rather  puzzled  by  this  time,  and 
decidedly  vexed  to  find  I  should 
have  to  be  up  so  early.  Still,  the 
mention  of  His  Royal  Highness 
and  the  countess  decided  me  to 
go  on  for  the  present  ;  probably 
the  real  man — for,  unless  it  were 
all  a  mad  joke,  there  must  be  a 
real  man — would  appear  in  the 
course  of  the  evening.  I  only 
hoped  my  new  friends  would,  in 
their  turn,  take  it  in  the  right 
way  when  that  happened. 

"  Have  you  a  servant  with 
you  ? "  asked  the  young  man,  as 
we  said  good-night. 

"  No,"  said  I  ;  "I  am  quite 
alone." 

"  You  are  a  paragon  of  pru- 
dence,"   he     answered,     smiling. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  7 

"  Well,  I'll  call  you,  and  we'll  slip 
out  quietly." 

Just  as  I  was  getting  into  bed. 
the  waiter  knocked  at  my  door  and 
gave  me  a  note.  It  bore  no  address. 

"  Is  it  for  me  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  he  answered.  "  You 
are  the  gentleman  who  dined  with 
Herr  Vooght  and  M.  Dumergue  ? " 

I  supposed  I  was,  and  opened 
the  note. 

"  You  are  generous  and  forgiv- 
ing, indeed,"  it  said  (and  said  it  in 
English).  "  What  reward  will  you 
claim  ?  But  do  be  careful.  He 
is  dangerous. — M." 

"  The  devil  !  "  I  exclaimed. 

The  next  morning  I  was 
aroused  at  five  o'clock  by  my  two 
friends. 

"Good-morning,  Herr  Vooght," 
said  I,  looking  just  between  them. 

"  Good-morning,"  answered  the 
older  man. 


8  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  Now,  my  dear  fellow,  come 
along.  There's  a  cup  of  coffee 
downstairs,"  said  the  other,  whom 
I  took  to  be  Dumergue. 

After  coffee,  we  got  into  a  close 
carriage  with  a  pair  of  horses,  and 
drove  two  or  three  miles  into  the 
country ;  my  companions  said 
little.  Dumergue  twice  asked  in 
a  joking  way  how  I  felt,  and 
Vooght  puzzled  me  very  much  by 
remarking : 

"  They  are  bringing  all  the 
necessaries ;  but  I  don't  know 
what  they  will  choose." 

When  this  was  said,  Dumergue 
was  humming  a  tune.  He  went 
on  for  five  minutes,  and  then  said, 
with  a  touch  of  scorn  : 

"  My  good  Vooght,  they  know 
our  friend's  reputation.  They 
will   choose   pistols." 

I  could  not  repress  a  start. 
No   doubt   it  was  stupid   of  me 


SPORT  ROTAI^  9 

not  to  haTe  caagh:  "'"t  -^riz^zz 
of  this  early    exj:-:-  .:::re. 

bat  it  reallj  never  str-  .  -  _  :  ".--i: 
oar  b'lsiness  migiit  be  a  c-el 
However,  so  it  seemed,  and  appar- 
ently" I  was  one  of  the  principals. 
Dumergue  noticed  mv  lirtle  start. 

'•What's  the  matter?"  he 
asked. 

'•Do  they  know  my  name?" 
said  I. 

^My  dear  friend,  coald  yea 
expect  the  baron  to  fight  with  an 
unknown  man  ?  The  challenge 
had  to  be  in  yoar  name." 

I  had  clearly  been  the  chal- 
lenser.  I  was  consumed  with 
cariosity  to  know  what  the  griev- 
ance was,  and  how  the  countess 
was  concerned  in  the  matter. 

"  The  countess  assured  us," 
said  Vooght,  "  that  she  had  your 
authority." 

"As  fullv    as    if  I   had  been 


lO  SPORT  ROVAL. 

there,"  I  answered,  and  Dumergue 
resumed  his  tune. 

I  was  sincerely  glad  that  the 
name  of  my  original  had  been 
given,  for  his  reputation  for 
swordsmanship  had  evidently 
saved  me  from  a  hole  in  my  skin. 
I  was  a  fair  hand  with  a  pistol  ; 
but,  like  most  of  my  countrymen, 
a  mere  bungler  with  the  rapier. 
It  was  very  annoying,  though,  that 
ray  friends'  exaggerated  prudence 
prevented  them  mentioning  my 
name  :  it  would  have  been  more 
convenient  to  know  who  I  was. 

I  had  not  long  for  reflection, 
for  we  soon  drew  up  by  a  roadside 
inn,  and,  getting  out  of  the  car- 
riage, walked  through  the  house, 
where  we  were  apparently  ex- 
pected, into  a  field  behind.  There 
were  three  men  walking  up  and 
down,  and  two  of  them  at  once 
advanced   to   meet    "Vooght    and 


SPORT  ROYAL.  II 

Dumergue.  I  remained  where  I 
was,  merely  raising  my  hat,  and 
the  third  man — a  big,  burly  fellow, 
with  a  heavy  black  mustache — 
followed  my  example. 

This  one,  no  doubt,  was  the 
baron.  To  be  frank,  he  looked  a 
brute,  and  I  had  very  little  hesita- 
tation  in  assuming  that  the  merits 
of  the  quarrel  must  be  on  my  side. 
I  was  comforted  by  this  conclu- 
sion, as  I  had  no  desire  to  shoot 
an  unoffending  person.  Prelimi- 
naries were  soon  concluded.  I 
overheard  one  of  the  baron's 
representatives  mention  the  word 
apology,  and  add  that  they  would 
meet  us  halfway,  but  Dumergue 
shook  his  head  decisively.  This 
defiant  attitude  became  Dumergue 
very  well  ;  but  I,  for  my  part, 
should  have  been  open  to  reason. 

The  baron  and  I  were  placed 
opposite   one   another   at    twelve 


12  SPORT  ROYAL. 

paces.  There  were  to  be  two 
shots — unless,  of  course,  one  of 
us  were  disabled  at  the  first  fire  ; 
after  that,  the  seconds  were  to 
consider  whether  the  matter  need 
go  further. 

The  word  was  just  about  to  be 
given,  when  to  my  surprise  the 
baron  cried  : 

"  Stop  !  " 

Everyone  looked  at  him  in 
astonishment. 

"  Before  we  fire,"  he  went  on, 
"  I  wish  to  ask  this  gentleman 
one  question.  No — I  will  not  be 
stopped  !  " 

His  seconds,  who  had  advanced, 
fell  back  before  his  resolute  ges- 
ture, and  he  continued,  address- 
ing me  : 

"  Sir,  will  you  do  me  the  honor 
to  answer  one  question  ?  Are 
you  the  person  who  accom- 
panied  " 


SPORT  ROVAL.  13 

Vooght  Struck  in  quickly  : 

"  No  names,  please  !  " 

The  baron  bowed,  and  began 
again. 

"  On  your  honor,  sir,  are  you 
the  gentleman  who  accompanied 
the  lady  in  question  to  the  masked 
ball  on  the  night  in  question  ?  " 

These  gentlemen  were  all  dip- 
lomatic. I  thought  I  would  be 
diplomatic  too. 

"  Surely  this  is  grossly  irregu- 
lar ? "  I  said,  appealing  to  my 
supporters. 

"  I  ask  for  an  answer,"  said  the 
baron. 

"  It's  nothing  but  a  new  insult," 
said  I. 

"  I  have  my  reasons,  and  those 
gentlemen  know  them." 

This  was  intolerable. 

"  You  mean  to  fight,  or  you  don't, 
M.  le  Baron,"  said  I.  "  Which  is 
it?" 


14  SPORT  ROYAL. 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders. 

"  Your  master  is  well  served," 
he  said  with  a  sneer. 

His  seconds  looked  bewildered  : 
Vooght  bit  his  nails,  and  Du- 
mergue  swore  furiously,  and,  com- 
ing near  me,  whispered  in  my  ear  : 

"  Shoot  straight !  Stop  his 
cursed    mouth    for   him  !  " 

I  had  not  the  least  intention  of 
killing  the  baron,  if  I  could  avoid 
it  without  being  killed  myself ; 
but  I  thought  a  slight  lesson  would 
improve  his  manners,  and,  when 
the  word  came,  I  fired  with  a  care- 
ful aim.  He  evidently  meant  mis- 
chief, for  I  heard  his  ball  whiz 
past  my  ear  ;  I  missed  him  clean, 
being  much  out  of  practice,  and, 
I  dare  say,  rather  nervous.  I 
pulled  myself  together  for  the 
second  shot,  for  I  saw  that  my 
my  opponent  was  not  to  be  trifled 
with,  and  I  should  not  have  been 


SPORT  ROi'AL.  15 

the  least  surprised  to  find  myself 
in  paradise  the  next  moment.  On 
the  word  I  fired  ;  the  baron  fell 
back  with  a  cry,  and  simulta- 
neously I  felt  a  tingle  in  my  left 
hand,  and  the  unmistakable  warm 
ooze  of  blood.  The  witnesses  ran 
to  my  opponent,  and  raised  his 
head.  Dumergue  turned  round 
to   me  : 

"  Are  you  hurt  ?  " 

"A  scratch,"  I  answered,  for  I 
found  the  ball  had  run  up  my 
arm,  merely  grazing  me  in  its 
passage. 

A  hurried  consultation  followed ; 
then  Vooght  and  Dumergue  raised 
their  hats  and  joined  me. 

"  We  had  best  be  off,"  said 
Vooght. 

"  Is  he  dead  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  No,"  said  Dumergue,  with  a 
little  disappointment,  I  thought. 
"  He'll  get  over  it  ;  but  he's  safe 


l5  SPORT  ROVAL. 

for  a  week  or  two.  Not  a  bad 
shot,  colonel  !  " 

So  I  was  a  colonel  ! 

"  Now,"  said  Vooght,  "  we'll 
drive  back,  and  send  you  to  the 
countess." 

I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  get 
away  from  the  place  as  soon  as  I 
could,  but  my  curiosity  to  see  the 
causa  belli  was  too  strong,  and  I 
said  I  should  be  delighted  to  keep 
my  engagement. 

Dumergue  smiled  significantly, 
and  Vooght  hurried  us  into  the 
carriage.  We  drove  back  to  the 
town,  and  then  two  or  three  miles 
into  the  country  again,  till  we 
came  to  a  pretty  villa,  embowered 
in  trees,  and  standing  some  two 
hundred  yards  back  from  the 
road.  There  was  no  drive  up  to 
the  house,  a  turf  walk  forming 
the  passage  from  the  highway. 
Vooght  motioned  me  to  get  down. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  I? 

"  Don't  you  accompany  me?"  I 
asked. 

Dumergue    smiled   again. 

"Oh,  no!"  he  said.  "Come 
for  us  at  the  hotel,  and  we'll 
all  be  off  by  the  two  o'clock 
train." 

"  Unless  you  are  detained," 
added  Vooght. 

"  I  shouldn't  be  detained,  if  I 
were  you,"  said  Dumergue  dryly. 
"  Who  knows  ?  The  baron  may 
die!" 

I  was  quite  determined  not  to 
be  detained,  and  said  so.  I  was 
also  quite  determined  not  to  keep 
the  rendezvous  at  the  hotel,  but 
to  slip  away  quietly  by  myself. 
The  colonel  might  arrive  at  any 
moment. 

I  watched  my  friends  drive  off, 
and  then  walked  briskly  up  to  the 
house.  A  man  in  livery  met  me 
before  I  had  time  to  rine. 


l8  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  Are  you  the  gentleman  ?  "  he 
asked. 

I  nodded. 

"  Will  you  be  so  kind,  sir,  as  to 
walk  straight  in  ?  That  door,  sir. 
The  countess  expects  you." 

I  had  my  doubts  about  that,  but 
I  walked  in,  shutting  the  door 
swiftly  behind  me,  lest  the  servant 
should  hear  anything.  I  thought 
an  explosion  not  improbable. 

The  room  was  dim,  close  cur- 
tains shutting  out  the  growing 
strength  of  the  sunshine.  The 
air  was  thick  with  the  scent  of 
flowers  that  overpowered  without 
quite  smothering  the  appetizing 
smell  rising  from  a  table  profusely 
spread  for  breakfast.  I  had  en- 
tered softly,  and  had  time  to  take 
note  of  the  surroundings  before 
I  became  aware  of  a  tall,  slight 
figure  in  white,  first  moving  impetu- 
ously toward    me,  then   stopping 


SPORT  ROYAL.  19 

abruptly  in  surprise.  Presumably, 
this  was  the  countess.  Charming 
as  she  was,  with  her  open  blue 
eyes,  fluify  golden  hair,  and  fresh 
tints,  I  wondered  from  what  noble 
house  she  sprang.  However,  the 
fountains  of  honor  are  many,  and 
their  streams  meander  sometimes 
through  very  winding  channels. 

The  countess  stood  and  looked 
at  me.     I  bowed  and  smiled. 

"You  are  naturally  surprised," 
I  said,  in  my  smoothest  tone. 

"  I      was      expecting — another 
gentleman." 

"  Yes,  I  know.     I  come  in  his 
place." 

"  In  his  place  ?  "  she  repeated, 
in  incredulous  tones. 

"  Yes  ;  in  the  colonel's  place." 

"  Hush  !  "  she  exclaimed.    "  We 
needn't  mention  names. 

It    suited  me    perfectly  not  to 
mention  names. 


20  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"I  beg  pardon,"  I  murmured. 

"But  how  is  it  possible?"  she 
aslced.  "  Do  you  know  wliat  he 
was  to  come  for  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes  !  " 

"  And  he  hasn't  come  ?  " 

"  No." 

She  frowned. 

"Wouldn't  he  come?" 

"  He  couldn't.     So  I  came." 

"But  how  did  you  know  any- 
thing about  it?  Did  he  tell  you 
about  the  pr — about  the  affair  ?" 

"  No.     I  only  heard " 

"  From  him  ?  " 

"  Yes— that  you  wanted  a  cham- 
pion." 

"  Oh,  that's  absurd  !  Why,  you 
never  heard  of  me  !  " 

"Ah,  indeed  I  have!" 

"And — did  you  recognize  me 
under  my  new  name  ?  " 

"  Your " 

"  My— my  title.     You  know." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  21 

"  The— he  told  me  that.  Must 
I  confess?  I  jumped  at  the  chance 
of  serving  you." 

"You  had  never  seen  me  !  " 

"  Perhaps  I  had  seen  your 
photograph." 

She  smiled  at  this,  but  still 
looked  perturbed, 

"  Pray  don't  be  distressed,"  said 
I.     "  I  am  very  discreet." 

"  Oh,  I  hope  so  !  The  prince 
[she  spoke  in  a  whisper]  was  so 
urgent  about  discretion.  You 
haven't  seen  him  ?  " 

"  The  prince  ?     No." 

"  And — when  is  it  to  be  ? " 

"I  don't  quite  understand." 
This  was  my  first  truthful  re- 
remark. 

"  Why,  the  duel !  " 

"  Oh,  it's  all  over  !  " 

"  Over  !  " 

"  Yes — two  hours  ago." 

"  And    the    baron  ?      No,    for- 


22  SPORT  ROYAL. 

give  me.  You  !  Are  you 
hurt  ?  " 

"  Not  a  bit.     He's  hurt." 

"Is  he  dead?"  she  asked 
breathlessly. 

"  I  am  sorry,  countess.  Not 
quite.     Was  that  necessary  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no  !  Though  he  deserved 
it.     He  insulted  me  shamefully." 

"  Then  he  did  deserve  it." 

She  went  off  at  a  tangent. 

"  What  became  of  my  let- 
ter?" 

"  They  gave  it  to  me.  You 
only  said  for  the  gentleman  who 
dined  with  your  friends." 

"  Then  you  read  it  ?  "  she  asked, 
blushing. 

"  Yes.  How  I  wish  I  were  the 
rightful  owner  of  it !  " 

"Why  didn't  he  come?"  she 
asked  again. 

"  He's  going  to  write  and  ex- 
plain." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  23 

"  And  you  really  came  be- 
cause  " 

•'May  I  tell  you  already?  Or 
have  you  guessed  already  ? " 

She  blushed  again. 

"  I  don't  see  what  else  the 
prince  could  do,  you  know,"  she 
said.  "  He  ought,  of  course, 
never  to  have  gone  to  the  ball  at 
all." 

"  Perhaps  not,"  I  answered  ; 
"  but  I  suppose  he  was  tempted." 

*'  Do  you  think  very  badly  of 
me?" 

"  I  should  think  you  perfection 
if " 

"  Well  ? " 

"You  would  give  me  some 
breakfast." 

"  Oh,  what  a  shame  !  You're 
starving  !  And  after  all  you  have 
done  !     Come,  I'll  wait  on  you." 

My  meal  was  very  pleasant. 
The  lady  was  charming  ;  she  satis- 


24  SPORT  ROYAL. 

fied  every  feeling  I  had,  except 
curiosity.  She  was  clearly  Eng- 
lish ;  equally  clearly  she  was  in- 
volved  with  some  great  people  on 
the  Continent.  I  gathered  that 
the  baron  had  insulted  her,  when 
she  was  with  the  prince,  and  the 
latter  could  not,  whether  for  state 
or  domestic  reasons,  espouse  the 
quarrel.  So  far  I  got,  but  no 
farther. 

"  What  a  debt  I  owe  you  !  "  she 
said,  as  she  led  the  way  after 
breakfast  to  the  top  of  a  little 
tower.  An  awning  was  spread 
overhead,  and  armchairs  on  the 
floor.  A  cool  breeze  blew,  and 
stirred  her  hair. 

"  I  am  more  than  paid  !  " 

*'  Fancy,  if  you  had  been 
hurt !  " 

*'  Better  I  than  the  colonel  !  "  I 
suggested. 

She  darted  a  smile  at  me. 


SPORT  KOYAL.  25 

"  Oh,  well,"  she  said,  "  you 
came,  and  he  didn't.  I  like  you 
best." 

It  was  all  very  charming,  but 
time  was  flying,  and  I  began  to 
plan  a  graceful  exit. 

"You  make  it  hard  to  go,"  I 
said. 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  we  must  go  as 
soon  as  possible.  Herr  Vooght 
said  at  two  o'clock." 

I  was  startled.  Delightful  as 
she  was,  I  hardly  reckoned  on  her 
being  one  of  the  party. 

"  The  prince  will  be  so  pleased 
to  see  you,"  she  went  on. 

"  Will  he  ?  " 

"  Why,  you  will  have  my  recom- 
mendation !  " 

"  I'm  sure  it  must  be  all-power- 
ful ! " 

"  But  we  have  two  hours  before 
we  need  start.  You  must  want  to 
rest." 


26  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"What  a  charming  tower  this 
is  !  " 

"  Yes  ;  such  a  view.  Look,  we 
can  see  for  miles.  Only  I  hate 
that  stretch  of  dusty  road." 

I  looked  carelessly  toward 
the  road  along  which  we  had 
come. 

"  Look  what  a  dust  !  "  she  said. 
"  It's  a  carriage  !  Oh,  they'll  up- 
set !  " 

I  jumped  up.  About  half  a 
mile  off,  I  saw  a  carriage  and  pair 
driven  furiously  toward  the  villa. 
My  heart  beat. 

"Who  can  it  be  ?"  she  said. 

"  Don't  be  frightened,"  said  L 
"  Possibly  the  authorities  have 
found   out   about   the   duel." 

"Oh!" 

"  Let  me  go  and  see." 

"  Take  care  !  " 

"  And  in  case  I  have  to  slip 
away " 


SPORT  ROYAL.  TJ 

"  I  shall  go  alone.  You  will 
join  us  ? " 

"  Yes,     But  now,  in  case " 

"  Well  ? " 

*'  As  a  reward,  may  I  kiss  your 
hand?" 

She  gave  it  me. 

"  I  am  glad  you  came,"  she  said. 
"  Stay,  perhaps  it's  only  our 
friends  coming  for  us." 

"  I'll  go  and  see." 

I  was  reluctant  to  cut  short  our 
good-by, — for  I  feared  it  must  be 
final, — but  no  time  was  to  be  lost. 
With  another  kiss — and  upon  my 
honor,  I  can't  swear  whether  it 
was  her  hand  or  her  cheek  this 
time — I  rushed  downstairs,  seized 
my  hat  and  cane,  and  dived  into 
the  shrubberies  that  bordered  on 
the  turf  walk.  Quickly  I  made 
my  way  to  within  twenty  yards  of 
the  road,  and  stopped,  motionless 
and    completely   hidden    by   the 


28  SPORT  ROYAL. 

trees.  At  that  moment  the  car- 
riage, with  its  smoking  horses, 
drew  up  at  the  gate. 

Dumergue  got  out  ;  Vooght 
came  next ;  then  a  tall,  powerful 
man,  of  military  bearing.  No 
doubt  this  was  the  colonel.  They 
seemed  in  a  hurry  ;  motioning  the 
driver  to  wait,  they  walked  or 
almost  ran  past  me  up  the  path. 
The  moment  they  were  by  me  and 
round  a  little  curve,  I  hastened  to 
the  gate,  and  burst  upon  the 
driver. 

"  A  hundred  marks  to  the 
station  !  " 

"  But,  sir,  I  am  engaged." 

*<  Damn  you  !  Two  hundred  !" 
I  cried. 

"  Get  in,"  said  he,  like  a  sensi- 
ble man,  bundling  back  the  nose- 
bags he  was  just  putting  on  his 
horses.  I  leaped  in,  he  jumped  on 
the  box,  and  off  we  flew  quicker 


SPORT  KOVAL.  29 

even  than  they  had  come.  As  we 
went,  I  glanced  up  at  the  tower. 
They  were  there  !  I  saw  Vooght 
and  Dumergue  lean  over  for  a 
moment,  and  then  turn  as  if  to 
come  down.  The  tall  stranger 
stood  opposite  the  lady,  and 
seemed  to  be  talking  to  her, 

"  Faster  !  "  I  cried,  and  faster 
and  faster  we  went,  till  we  reached 
the  station.  Flinging  the  driver 
his  money,  I  took  a  ticket  for  the 
first  train,  and  got  in,  hot  and 
breathless.  As  we  steamed  out  of 
the  town,  I  saw,  from  my  carriage- 
window,  a  neat  barouche  with  a 
woman  and  three  men  in  it,  driv- 
ing quickly  along  the  road,  which 
ran  by  the  railway.  It  was  my 
party  !  Youth  is  vain,  and  beauty 
is  powerful,  I  bared  my  head, 
leaned  out  of  the  window,  and 
kissed  my  hand  to  the  countess. 
We   were   not  more    than   thirty 


30  SPORT  ROYAL. 

yards  apart,  and,  to  my  joy,  I  saw 
her  return  my  salutation,  with  a 
toss  of  her  head  and  a  defiant 
glance  at  her  companions.  The 
colonel  sat  glum  and  still  ;  Vooght 
was  biting  his  nails  harder  than 
ever  ;  Dumergue  shook  his  fist  at 
me,  but,  I  thought,  more  in  jest 
than  in  anger.  I  kissed  my  hand 
again  as  the  train  and  the  carriage 
whisked  by  one  another,  and  I 
was  borne  on  my  way  out  of  their 
reach. 


CHAPTER  II. 
St  tbe  Ibotel  /flbagnitique. 

10  a  reflective  mind  nothing 
is  more  curious  than  the 

11  way  one  thing  leads  to 
another.  A  little  experience  of 
this  tendency  soon  cured  me  of 
refusing  to  go  anywhere  I  was 
asked,  merely  because  the  pros- 
pects of  amusement  were  not  very 
obvious.  I  always  went — taking 
credit  of  course  for  much  amia- 
bility— and  I  often  received  my 
reward  in  an  unexpected  devel- 
opment of  something  new  or  an 
interesting  revival  of  a  former 
episode.  It  happened,  a  few 
months  after    my  adventure    at 

31 


32  SPORT  ROYAL. 

Heidelberg,  that  my  brother's 
wife,  Jane  Jason,  asked  me,  as  a 
favor  to  herself,  to  take  a  stall  at 
the  theater  where  a  certain  actress 
was,  after  a  long  and  successful 
career  in  the  provinces,  introduc- 
ing herself  to  a  London  audience. 
Jane  is  possessed  by  the  idea  that 
she  has  a  keen  nose  for  dramatic 
talent,  and  she  assured  me  that 
\\tx  protegee  was  a  wonder.  I  dare 
say  the  woman  had  some  talent, 
but  she  was  an  ugly,  gaunt  crea- 
ture of  forty,  and  did  not  shine  in 
Juliet.  At  the  end  of  the  second 
act  I  was  bored  to  death,  and  was 
pondering  whether  I  knew  enough 
of  the  play  to  slip  out  without 
Jane  being  likely  to  discover  my 
desertion  by  cross-examination, 
when  my  eye  happened  to  fall  on 
the  stage-box  in  the  first  tier.  In 
the  center  seat  sat  a  fair,  rather 
stout  man,  with  the  very  weariest 


SPORT  ROYAL.  33 

expression  that  I  ever  saw  on 
human  face.  He  was  such  an  un- 
surpassed impersonation  of  bore- 
dom that  I  could  not  help  staring 
at  him  ;  I  could  do  so  without 
rudeness,  as  his  eyes  were  fixed  on 
the  chandelier  in  the  roof  of  the 
house.  I  looked  my  fill,  and  was 
about  to  turn  away,  and  go  out 
for  a  cigarette,  when  somebody 
spoke  to  me  in  a  low  voice,  the 
tones  of  which  seemed  familiar. 

"  Ah,  impostor,  here  you  are  !  " 

It  was  Dumergue,  smiling 
quietly  at  me.  I  greeted  him  with 
surprise  and  pleasure. 

"  How  is  the  baron  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  He  cheated  the — grave,"  an- 
swered Dumergue. 

"  And  the  countess  ?  " 

"  Hush  !  I  have  a  message  for 
you." 

"  From  her  ?  "  I  inquired,  not,  I 
fear,  without  eagerness. 


34  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  No,"  he  replied,  "  from  the 
prince.  He  desires  that  you 
should  be  presented  to  him." 

"Who  is  he?" 

''  I  forgot.  Prince  Ferdinand 
of  Glottenberg." 

"  Indeed  !  He's  in  London, 
then  ? " 

"Yes,  in  that  box,"  and  he 
pointed  to  the  bored  man,  and 
added  : 

"  Come  along  ;  he  hates  being 
kept  waiting." 

"  He  looks  as  if  he  hated  most 
things,"  I  remarked. 

"Well,  most  things  are  detest- 
able," said  Dumergue,  leading  the 
way. 

The  prince  rose  and  greeted  me 
with  fatigued  graciousness. 

"  I  am  very  much  indebted 
to  you,  Mr.  Jason,"  he  said, 
"  for " 

I    began    to  stammer   an  apol- 


SPORT  ROYAL.  35 

ogy  for  my  intrusion  into  his 
affairs. 

'*  For,"  he  resumed,  without 
noticing  what  I  said,  "  a  moment's 
bewilderment.  I  quite  enjoyed 
it." 

I  bowed,  and  he  continued. 

"  The  only  things  I  cling  to  in 
life,  Mr.  Jason,  are  a  quiet  time  at 
home  and  my  income.  You  have 
been  very  discreet.  If  you  hadn't, 
I  might  have  lost  those  two  things. 
I  am  very  much  obliged.  Will  you 
give  me  the  pleasure  of  your  com- 
pany at  supper  ?  Dumergue,  the 
princess  will  be  delighted  to  see 
Mr.  Jason  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir.  Her  Royal  Highness 
will  be  delighted,"  answered 
Dumergue. 

"  Where  was  the  princess  go- 
ing ?  "  asked  the  prince. 

"  To  a  meeting  of  the  Women's 
International  Society  for  the  Pro- 


36  SPORT  ROYAL. 

motion  of  Morality,  at  the  Man- 
sion House,  sir." 

"  Mon  Dieu  !  "  said  the  prince. 

"  His  Majesty  is  much  inter- 
ested in  the  society,  sir." 

"  I  am  sure  my  brother  would 
be.     Come  along,  Mr.  Jason." 

The  prince  and  princess  were 
staying  at  the  Hotel  Magnifique 
in  Northumberland  Avenue.  We 
drove  thither,  and  were  told  that 
the  princess  had  returned.  Upon 
further  inquiry,  made  by  Du- 
mergue,  it  appeared  that  it  would 
be  agreeable  to  her  to  sup  with  the 
prince  and  to  receive  Mr.  Jason. 
So  we  went  into  the  dining  room 
and  found  her  seated  by  the  fire. 
After  greeting  me,  she  said  to  the 
prince  : 

"  I  have  just  written  a  long 
account  of  our  meeting  to  the 
king.     He  will  be  so  interested." 

She  was  a  small  woman,  with  a 


SPORT  ROYAL.  37 

gentle  manner  and  a  low,  sweet 
voice.  She  looked  like  an  amiable 
and  intelligent  girl  of  eighteen, 
and  had  a  pretty,  timid  air,  which 
made  me  wish  to  assure  her  of  my 
respectful  protection. 

"  My  brother,"  said  the  prince, 
"  is  a  man  of  catholic  tastes." 

"  It  is  necessary  in  a  king,  sir," 
suggested  Dumergue. 

The  prince  did  not  answer  him, 
but  offered  his  arm  to  his  wife,  to 
escort  her  to  the  table.  She  mo- 
tioned me  to  sit  on  her  right  hand, 
and  began  to  prattle  gently  to  me 
about  the  court  of  Glottenberg. 
The  prince  put  in  a  word  here  and 
there,  and  Dumergue  laughed  ap- 
preciatively whenever  the  prin- 
cess' descriptions  were  neat  and 
appropriate — at  least,  so  I  inter- 
preted his  delicate  flattery. 

I  enjoyed  myself  very  much. 
The    princess    was    evidently,    to 


38  SPORT  ROYAL. 

judge  from  her  conversation,  a 
little  Puritan,  and  I  always  love  a 
pretty  Puritan.  That  rogue  Du- 
mergue  agreed  with  all  her  views, 
and  the  prince  allowed  his  silence 
to  pass  for  assent. 

"  We  do  try  at  court,"  she 
ended  by  saying,  "  to  set  an  ex- 
ample to  society  ;  and,  as  the  king 
is  unmarried,  of  course  I  have  to 
do  a  great  deal." 

At  this  moment,  a  servant  en- 
tered, bearing  a  card  on  a  salver. 
He  approached  the  princess. 

"  A  gentleman  desires  the 
honor  of  an  audience  with  Her 
Royal  Highness,"  he  announced. 

"  At  this  time  of  night  !  "  ex- 
claimed the  princess. 

"  He  says  his  business  will  not 
bear  delay,  and  prays  for  a  inter- 
view." 

"  All  business  will  bear  delay," 
said  the   prince,  "  and   generally 


SPORT  ROYAL.  39 

be  the  better  for  it.  Who  is 
he?" 

"The  Baron  de  Barbot." 

"  Oh,  I  must  see  him,"  cried 
the.  princess.  "  Why,  he  is  a  dear 
friend  of  ours." 

I  had  detected  a  rapid  glance 
pass  between  Dumergue  and  the 
prince.  The  latter  then  an- 
swered : 

"  Yes,  we  must  see  Barbot.  If 
you  will  go  to  the  drawing  room, 
I'll  take  your  message  myself." 

"  That  is  kind  of  you,"  said  the 
princess,  retiring. 

"  Give  me  the  card,"  said  the 
prince,  "  and  ask  the  baron  to  be 
kind  enough  to  wait  a  few  min- 
utes." 

The  servant  went  out,  and  the 
prince  turned  to  me. 

"Why  didn't  you  kill  him,  Mr. 
Jason  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Is  it "  I  began. 


40  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  Yes,  it's  your  baron,"  said 
Dumergue. 

"  It's  really  a  little  awkward," 
said  the  prince,  as  though  gently 
remonstrating  with  fate.  "  We 
had  arranged  it  all  so  pleasantly." 

"  It  would  upset  the  princess," 
said  Dumergue. 

"  What  upsets  the  princess  up- 
sets me,"  said  the  prince.  "  I  am 
a  devoted  husband,  Mr.  Jason." 

"  If  there  is  anything  I  can  do, 
sir,"  said  I,  "rely  on  me." 

"  You  overwhelm  me,"  said  the 
prince.  "  Is  there  anything,  Du- 
mergue ?  " 

"  Why,  yes,  sir.  Mr.  Jason  was 
at  the  ball.  Why  should  he  have 
fought,  if  he  wasn't  ? " 

"  You  are  right,  Dumergue. 
Mr.  Jason,  you  were  at  the  ball." 

"  But,  sir,  I — I  don't  know  any- 
thing about  the  ball." 

"  It  was  just  like  other  balls — 


SPORT  ROYAL.  41 

Other  masked  balls,"  said  Du- 
mergue. 

"  Perhaps  a  little  more  so," 
added  the  prince,  lighting  a  ciga- 
ette. 

''  There  was  a  scandal  at  the 
last  one,"  Dumergue  continued, 
"  and  the  king  strictly  forbade 
anyone  connected  with  the  court 
to  go,  under  pain  of  his  severe 
displeasure.  There  had  been  a 
rumor  that  a  royal  prince  was  at 
the  one  before,  and  conse- 
quently  " 

"  That  royal  prince  was  specially 
commanded  not  to  go  to  this  one," 
said  the  prince. 

"  It  was  bad  enough,"  resumed 
Dumergue,  "  that  it  should  be  dis- 
covered that  the  princess'  favo- 
rite lady-in-waiting,  the  Countess 
von  Hohstein " 

"  Who  bore  such  a  high  char- 
acter," interjected  the  prince. 


42  SPORT  ROl'AL. 

"  Did  go,  and,  moreover,  went 
under  the  escort  of  an  unknown 
gentleman — a  gentleman  whose 
name  she  refused  to  give." 

"  Was  that  discovered  ? "  said  1. 

"  It  was.  This  baron  detected 
her,  and,  with  a  view,  as  we  have 
reason  to  believe,  to  compelling 
her  companion  to  declare  himself, 
publicly  insulted  her." 

"  Whereupon,"  said  the  prince, 
**  you  very  properly  knocked  him 
down,  Mr.  Jason." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir?  " 

"  The  princess,"  continued 
Dumergue,  "was  terribly  agitated 
and  annoyed  at  the  scandal  and 
the  duel  which  followed.  And  of 
course  the  countess  left  the  court, 
and  returned  to  England." 

"To  England?" 

"  Yes  ;  she  was  a  Miss  Mason. 
The  king  ennobled  her  at  the 
princess'  request." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  43 

I  smiled  and  said  : 
"  And  now  there  is  a  question 
about  who  her  escort  was  ?  " 

"  There  is,"  said  Dumergue. 
"  It  is  believed  that  the  baron 
entertains  an  extraordinary  idea 
that    the  gentleman    in    question 

was  no  other  than " 

"  Myself,"  said  the  prince, 
throwing  away  his  cigarette. 

I      remembered     the     baron's 
strange  questions  before  the  duel. 
"  Dispose  of  me  as  you  please, 
sir,"  said  I. 

"  Then  you  were  at  the  ball, 
and  knocked  the  baron  down  !  " 
exclaimed  Dumergue. 

"  A  thousand  thanks,"  said  the 
prince. 

"  But  what  are  we  to  do  with 
him  now,  sir  ?  "  asked  Dumergue. 
"The  princess  will  be  expecting 
him." 

"  I  will  go  and  tell  the  princess 


44  SPORT  ROYAL. 

of  Mr.  Jason's  confession.  You 
go  with  Mr.  Jason,  and  tell  the 
baron  that  the  princess  cannot 
receive  him.  I  want  him  to  see 
Mr.  Jason." 

^'  But,  sir,"  said  I,  "  I  didn't 
fight  under  my  own  name." 

The  prince  was  already  gone, 
and  Dumergue  was  halfway  down 
the  stairs.  I  followed  the  lat- 
ter. 

We  found  the  baron  in  the 
smoking  room,  taking  a  cup  of 
coffee.  A  couple  of  men  sat 
talking  on  a  settee  near  him  ; 
otherwise  the  room  was  empty. 

Dumergue  went  up  to  the  baron, 
I  following  a  step  or  two  behind 
him.  The  baron  rose  and  bowed 
coldly. 

"  I  am  charged,"  said  Du- 
mergue,  "  to  express  His  Royal 
Highness'  regrets  that  Her  Royal 
Highness  cannot  have  the  pleas- 


SPORT  ROYAL.  45 

ure  of  receiving  you.  She  has  re- 
tired to  her  apartments." 

"  The  servant  told  me  she  was 
at  supper." 

"  He  was  misinformed." 

"  I'm  not  to  be  put  off  like  that. 
I'll  have  a  refusal  from  the  prin- 
cess herself." 

"I  will  inform  His  Royal  High- 
ness." 

The  baron  was  about  to  answer, 
when  he  caught  sight  of  me. 

"  Ah,  there's  the  jackal  !  "  he 
said,  with  a  sneer, 

I  stepped  forward. 

"Do  you  refer  to  me?"  I 
asked. 

"Unless  I  am  wrong  in  recog- 
nizing my  former  antagonist, 
Colonel  Despard." 

This  was  just  what  I  had  antici- 
pated. Dumergue  did  not  seem 
surprised  either. 

"  Of  course  it  is  Colonel  Des- 


46  SPORT  ROYAL. 

pard,"  he  said.     "  You  would  not 
be  likely  to  forget  him,  baron." 

We  had  been  speaking  in  a  low 
tone,  but  at  Dumergue's  sneer,  the 
baron  lost  his  temper.  Raising  his 
voice,  he  said,  almost  in  a  shout : 

"Then  I  tell  Colonel  Despard 
that  he  is  a  mean  hound." 

If  I  assumed  the  colonel's  name, 
I  felt  I  must  at  least  defend  it 
from  imputations.     I  began  : 

"  Once  before,  baron,  I  chas- 
tised  " 

I  was  interrupted.  One  of  the 
men  on  the  settee  interposed,  ris- 
ing as  he  spoke. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  gentlemen,  but 
is  it  Colonel  Despard  of  the 
Hussars  to  whom  you  refer?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  the  baron. 

"  Then  that  gentleman  is  not 
Colonel  Despard,"  announced  our 
new  friend,  **  I  am  Colonel  Des- 
pard's  brother-in-law." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  47 

For  a  moment  I  was  at  a  loss  ; 
things  were  falling  out  so  very 
unfortunately.  Dumergue  turned 
on  the  stranger  fiercely  : 

**  Pray,  sir,  was  your  interposi- 
tion solicited  ? " 

"  Certainly  not.  But  if  this 
gentleman  says  he  is  Colonel  Des- 
pard,  I  take  leave  to  contradict 
him." 

*'  I  should  advise  you  to  do 
nothing  of  the  sort,"  said  I.  "  M. 
Dumergue  knows  me  very  well." 

"  This  person,"  said  the  baron, 
"  passed  himself  off  as  Colonel 
Despard,  and,  by  that  pretext, 
obtained  from  me  the  honor  of  a 
duel  with  me.  It  appears  that  he 
is  a  mere  impostor." 

The  other  man  on  the  settee 
called  out  cheerfully,  "  Bob,  send 
for  the  police  !  " 

Dumergue  looked  rather  sheep- 
ish ;  his  invention  failed  him. 


48  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  Do  either  or  both  of  these 
gentlemen,"  said  I,  indicating  the 
baron  and  the  colonel's  brother- 
in-law,  "call  me  an  impostor?" 

"  I  do,"  said  the  baron,  with  a 
sneering  laugh. 

"  I  am  compelled  to  assert  it," 
said  the  other,  with  a  bow. 

I  had  edged  near  the  little  table, 
on  which  the  baron's  coffee  had 
been  served.  I  now  took  up  the 
coffee-pot  and  milk-jug.  The 
coffee  I  threw  in  the  baron's  face, 
and  the  milk  in  that  of  his  ally. 
Both  men  sprang  forward  with  an 
oath.  At  the  same  moment,  the 
electric  light  went  out,  and  I  was 
violently  pulled  back  toward  the 
door,  and  someone  whispered, 
"  Vanish  as  quick  as  you  can. 
Go  home — go  anywhere." 

"  All  right,  sir,"  said  I,  for  I 
recognized  the  prince's  voice, 
"  But  what  are  they  doing  ?" 


SPORT  ROYAL.  49 

"  Never  mind  ;  be  off."  And 
the  prince  handed  me  a  hat. 

I  walked  quickly  to  the  door, 
and  hailed  a  hansom.  As  I  drove 
off,  I  saw  the  prince  skip  upstairs, 
and  B. posse  of  waiters  rush  toward 
the  smoking  room.  I  went  home 
to  bed. 

The  next  morning,  as  I  was 
breakfasting,  my  man  told  me  two 
gentlemen  were  below,  and  wished 
to  see  me.  I  told  him  to  show 
them  up,  and  the  prince  and 
Dumergue  came  in,  the  former 
wrapped  up  in  a  fur  coat,  with  a 
collar  that  hid  most  of  his  face. 

"The  prince  would  like  some 
brandy  in  a  little  soda  water,"  said 
Dumergue. 

I  administered  the  cordial. 
The  prince  drank  it,  and  then 
turned  to  me. 

"  Did  you  get  home  all  right  ?  " 
he  asked. 


50  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  Perfectly,  sir." 

"  After  you  took  leave  of  us, 
we  had  an  explanation,  Mr, 
Wetherington — it  was  Mr,  Wether- 
ington  at  whom  you  threw  the 
milk — was  very  reasonable,  I 
explained  the  whole  matter,  and 
he  said  he  was  sure  his  brother- 
in-law  would  pardon  the  liberty." 

"  I'm  afraid  I  took  rather  a 
liberty  with  him." 

"  Oh,"  said  Dumergue,  "  we 
made  him  believe  the  milk  was 
meant  for  the  baron,  as  well  as 
the  coffee,  I  said  we  took  it  au 
lait  at  Glottenberg," 

"  It's  lucky  I  thought  of  turn- 
ing out  the  light,"  said  the  prince. 
"  I  was  looking  on,  and  it  seemed 
about  time." 

"  What  did  the  hotel  people 
say,  sir  ?" 

"  They  are  going  to  sue  the 
electric      company,"      said      the 


SPORT  ROYAL.  51 

prince,  with  a  slight  smile.  "  It 
seems  there  is  a  penalty  if  the 
light  doesn't  work  properly." 

"  And  the  baron,  sir  ?  " 

"  We  kicked  the  baron  out  as 
a  blackmailer,"  said  Dumergue. 
"  He  is  going  to  bring  an  ac- 
tion." 

"  I  return  to  Glottenberg  to- 
day," concluded  the  prince  ;  "  ac- 
companied by  the  princess  and 
M.  Dumergue." 

I  thought  this  course  very 
prudent,  and  said  so.  "  But,"  I 
added,  "  I  shall  be  called  as  a 
witness." 

"  No  ;  Colonel    Despard    will." 

"  Well,  then " 

"  He  will  establish  an  alibi. 
Voila  tout!'' 

"  I  am  glad  it  all  ends  so  hap- 
pily, sir." 

"  Well,  there  is  one  matter," 
said  the  prince.     "  I  had  to  tell 


52  SPORT  ROYAL. 

the  princess  of  your  indiscretion 
in  taking  Mme.  Vooght " 

"Who,  sir?" 

"  Mr.  Jason,"  put  in  Dumergue, 
"  has  not  heard  that  the  countess 
and  Vooght  are  married," 

"  Yes,"  said  the  prince,  "  they 
are  married,  and  will  settle  in 
America.  Vooght  is  a  loss  ;  but 
we  can't  have  everything  in  this 
world." 

"  I  hope  Herr  Vooght  will  be 
happy,"  said  I. 

"  I  should  think  it  very  un- 
likely," said  the  prince.  "  But, 
to  return.  The  princess  is  very 
angry  with  you.     She  insists " 

"  That  I  should  never  be  pre- 
sented to  her  again  ?  " 

"  On  the  contrary ;  that  you 
should  come  and  apologize  in 
person.  Only  on  condition  of 
bringing  you  again  could  I  make 
my  peace  for  bringing  you  once." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  53 

I  was  very  much  surprised,  but 
of  course  I  said  I  was  at  the  prin- 
cess* commands. 

"  You  don't  mind  meeting  us  in 
Paris?  We  stay  there  a  few 
days,"  said  Dumergue. 

"  You  see,"  added  the  prince, 
"  Dumergue  says  there  are  things 
called  writs,  and " 

"  I  will  be  in  Paris  to-morrow, 
sir." 

"  I  shall  be  there  to-day,"  said 
the  prince,  rising. 


CHAPTER  III. 

XLbc  Mission  of  tbe  IRubg 

COULD  not  imagine 
why  the  princess  desired 
to  see  me.  It  would 
have  been  much  more  natural  to 
punish  the  impertinence  of  which 
I  had  no  doubt  been  guilty — I 
mean,  of  which  it  was  agreed  on 
all  hands  that  I  had  been  guilty — 
by  merely  declining  to  receive  me 
or  see  me  again.  Even  the  de- 
sire for  a  written  apology  would 
have  been  treating  me  as  of  too 
much  account.  But  she  wanted 
to  see  me.  What  I  had  heard  of 
the  princess'  character  utterly  for- 
bade any  idea  which  ought  not  to 
have  been,  but  would  have  been, 

54 


SPORT  ROYAL.  55 

pleasant  to  entertain.  No  ;  she 
clearly  wanted  me,  but  what  for  I 
could  not  imagine. 

When  I  went  to  claim  my  audi- 
ence, the  prince  was  not  visible, 
nar  Dumergue  either,  and  I  was 
at  once  received  by  the  princess 
alone.  She  was  looking  smaller, 
and  more  simple  and  helpless  than 
ever.  I  also  thought  her  looking 
prettier,  and  I  enjoyed  immensely 
the  pious,  severe,  forgiving  little 
rebuke  which  she  administered  to 
me.  I  humbly  craved  pardon, 
and  had  no  difficulty  in  obtaining 
it.  Indeed,  she  became  very  gra- 
cious. 

"  You  must  come  to  Glotten- 
berg,"  she  said,  "  in  a  few  months' 
time." 

*'  To  obey  Your  Royal  High- 
ness' commands  will  be  a  delight- 
ful duty,"  said  I,  bowing. 

She  rose  and  stood  by  the  fire, 


56  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  toying  '*  (as   the    novelists   say) 
with  her  fan, 

"  You  seem  to  be  an  obliging 
man,  Mr.  Jason,"  she  said.  "  You 
were  ready  to  oblige  Mme. 
Vooght." 

I  made  a  gesture  of  half-serious 
protest. 

"  I  wonder,"  she  continued,  "  if 
you  would  do  me  a  little  service." 

"  I  shall  be  most  honored  if  I 
may  hope  to  be  able  to,"  said  I. 
What  did  she  want  ? 

She  blushed  slightly,  and,  with 
a  nervous  laugh,  said  : 

"  It's  only  a  short  story.  When 
I  was  a  young  girl,  I  was  foolish 
enough,  Mr.  Jason,  to  fall  in  love, 
or  at  least  to  think  I  did.  There 
was  a  young  English  attache— I 
know  I  can  rely  on  your  perfect 
discretion — at  my  father's  court, 
and  he — he  forgot  the  difference 
between  us.     He  was  a   man   of 


SPORT  ROYAL.  57 

rank,  though.  Well,  I  was  foolish 
enough  to  accept  from  him  a  very 
valuable  ring — a  fine  ruby — quite 
a  family  heirloom.  Of  course,  I 
never  wore  it,  but  I  took  it.  And 
when  I  married,  I " 

She  paused. 

"Your  Royal  Highness  had  no 
opportunity  of  returning  it  ?  " 

"  Exactly.  He  had  left  the 
court.  I  didn't  know  where  he 
was,  and — and  the  post  was  not 
quite  trustworthy." 

"  I  understand  perfectly." 

"I  saw  in  the  papers  the  other 
day  that  he  was  married.  Of 
course  I  can't  keep  it.  His  wife 
ought  to  have  it — and  I  dare  not 
— I  would  prefer  not  to — send 
it." 

"  I  see.  You  would  wish 
me " 

"  To  be  my  messenger.  Will 
you  ? " 


58  SPORT  ROVAL. 

Of  course  I  assented.  She 
went  into  an  adjoining  room,  and 
returned  with  a  little  morocco 
case.  Opening  it,  she  showed  me 
a  magnificent  ruby,  set  in  an  old 
gold  ring  of  great  beauty. 

"  Will  you  give  it  him  ?  "  she 
said. 

"Your  Royal  Highness  has  not 
told  me  his  name?  " 

"  Lord  Daynesborough.  You 
will  be  able  to  find  him  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes  !  " 

"  And  you  will — you  ivill  be 
careful,  Mr.  Jason  ?  " 

"  He  shall  have  it  safely  in 
three  days.  Any  message  with 
it,  madame  ?  " 

"  No.  Yes — just  my  best  wishes 
for  his  happiness." 

I  bowed  and  prepared  to  with- 
draw. 

"  And  you  must  come  and  tell 
me " 


SPORT  ROYAL.  59 

"  I  will   come    and    make    my 
report." 

"  I  do  not  know  how  to  thank 
you." 

I  kissed  her  hand  and  bowed 
myself  out,  mightily  amused,  and, 
maybe,  rather  touched  at  the  reve- 
lation of  this  youthful  romance. 
Somehow  such  things  are  always 
touching,  stupid  as  they  are  for  the 
most  part.  It  pleased  me  to  find 
that  the  little  princess  was  flesh 
and  blood. 

She  followed  me  to  the  door, 
and  whispered,  as  I  opened  it : 

"  I  have  not  troubled  the  prince 
with  the  matter." 

"  Wives  are  so  considerate," 
thought  I,  as  I  went  downstairs. 

On  arriving  in  England,  I  made 
inquiries  about  Lord  Daynes- 
borough.  I  found  that  it  was 
seven  years  since  he  had  abruptly 
thrown  up  his  post  oiatlache,\v\i\\- 


60  SPORT  ROVAL. 

out  cause  assigned.  After  this 
event,  he  lived  in  retirement  for 
some  time,  and  then  returned  into 
society.  Three  months  ago  he 
had  married  Miss  Dorothy  Cod- 
rington,  a  noted  beauty,  with  whom 
he  appeared  much  in  love,  and  had 
just  returned  from  his  wedding 
tour  and  settled  down  for  the  sea- 
son at  his  house  in  Curzon  Street. 
Hearing  all  this,  I  thought  the 
little  princess  might  have  let  well 
alone,  and  kept  her  ring  ;  but  her 
conduct  was  no  business  of  mine, 
and  I  set  about  fulfilling  my  com- 
mission. I  needed  no  one  to  tell 
me  that  Lady  Daynesborough  had 
better,  as  the  princess  would  have 
phrased  it,  not  be  troubled  with 
the  matter. 

I  had  no  difficulty  in  meeting 
the  young  lord.  In  spite  of  the 
times  we  live  in,  a  Jason  is  still  a 
welcome  guest  in  most  houses,  and 


SPORT  ROYAL.  6l 

before  long  he  and  I  were  sitting 
side  by  side  at  Mrs.  Closmadene's 
table.  The  ladies  had  withdrawnj 
and  we  were  about  to  follow  them 
upstairs.  Daynesborough  was  a 
frank,  pleasant  fellow,  and  scorned 
the  affectation  of  concealing  his 
happiness  in  the  married  state.  In 
fact,  he  seemed  to  take  a  fancy  to 
me,  and  told  me  that  he  would  like 
me  to  come  and  see  him  at  home. 
"  Then,"  he  said,  "  you  will 
cease  to  distrust  marriage." 

"  I'shall  be  most  glad  to  come," 
I  answered,  "  more  especially  as  I 
want  a  talk  with  you." 

"  Do  you  ?     About  what  ?  " 
"  I  have  a  message  for  you." 
"  You  have  a  message  for  me, 
Mr.  Jason  ?     Forgive  me,  but  from 
whom  ?  " 

I  leaned  over  toward  him,  and 
whispered,  *' The  Princess  Ferdi- 
nand of  Glottenberg." 


62  SPORT  ROYAL. 

The  man  turned  as  white  as  a 
sheet,  and,  gripping  my  hand,  said 
under  his  breath  : 

"  Hush  !  Surely  you  —  you 
haven't — she  hasn't  sent  it  ?" 

"  Yes,  she  has,"  said  I. 

"  Good  God  !  After  seven 
years  !  " 

General  Closmadene  rose  from 
his  chair.  Daynesborough  drank 
off  a  very  large"  white-wash,"  and 
added : 

"  Come  to  dinner  to-morrow — 
eight  o'clock.  We  shall  be  alone  ; 
and,  for  Heaven's  sake,  say 
nothing." 

I  said  nothing,  and  I  went  to 
dinner,  carrying  the  ruby  ring  in 
my  breast-pocket.  But  I  began 
to  wonder  whether  the  little  prin- 
cess was  quite  as  childlike  as  she 
seemed. 

Lady  Daynesborough  dined  with 
us.     She  was  a  tall,  slender  girl  ; 


SPORT  ROYAL.  63 

very  handsome,  and,  to  judge 
from  her  appearance,  not  wanting 
in  resolution  and  character.  She 
was  obviously  devoted  to  her  hus- 
band, and  he  treated  her  with  an 
affectionate  deference  that  seemed 
to  me  almost  overdone.  It  was 
Hke  the  manner  of  a  man  who  is 
remgrseful  for  having  wounded 
someone  he  loves. 

When  she  left  us,  he  returned 
to  the  table,  and,  with  a  weary 
sigh,  said  : 

"  Now,  Mr.  Jason,  I  am  ready." 

"  My  task  is  a  very  short  one," 
said  I.  "  I  have  no  message  except 
to  convey  to  you  the  princess' 
best  wishes  for  your  happiness  on 
your  marriage,  of  which  she  has 
recently  heard,  and  to  give  you 
the  ring.     Here  it  is." 

"  Have  women  no  mercy  ? " 
groaned  he. 


64  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"I  beg  your  pardon  ? "  said  I, 
rather  startled. 

*'  She  waits  seven  years — seven 
years  without  a  word  or  a  sign — 
and  then  sends  it !     And  why  ? " 

"  Because  you're  married." 

"  Exactly.     Isn't  it— devilish  ?  " 

"  Not  at  all.  It's  strictly  cor- 
rect. She  said  herself  that  your 
wife  was  the  proper  person  to  have 
the  ring  now." 

He  looked  at  me  with  a  bitter 
smile. 

"  My  dear  Jason,"  he  said,  "  I 
have  been  flattering  your  acumen 
at  the  expense  of  your  morality. 
I  thought  you  knew  what  this 
meant." 

"  No  more  than  what  the  prin- 
cess told  me." 

"  No,  of  course  not,  or  you 
would  not  have  brought  it.  When 
we  parted,  I  gave  her  the  ring, 
and  she  made  me  promise,  on  my 


SPORT  ROYAL.  65 

honor  as  a  gentleman,  to  come  to 
her  the  moment  she  sent  the  ring — 
to  leave  everything  and  come  to 
her,  and  take  her  away.  And  I 
promised." 

"  And  she  has  never  sent  till 
now?" 

"  I  never  married  till  now,"  he 
said  bitterly.  "  What's  the  matter 
with  her  ?  " 

"Nothing  that  I  know  of." 

He  rose,  went  to  a  writing  table, 
and  came  back  with  a  fat  paper 
book — a  Continental  Bradshavv. 

"  You're  not  going  ?  "  I  ex- 
claimed. 

"  Oh,  yes  !     I  promised." 

"You  promised  something  to 
your  wife  too,  didn't  you  ?  " 

"  I  can't  argue  it.  I  must  go 
and  see  what  she  wants.  I — I 
hope  she'll  let  me  come  back." 

I  tried  to  dissuade  him.  I  know 
I  told  him  he  was  a  fool ;  I  think  I 


66  SPORT  ROVAL. 

told  him  he  was  a  scoundrel.  I 
was  not  sure  of  the  second,  but 
I  thought  it  wisest  to  pretend  that 
I  was. 

"  I  hope  it  will  be  all  right,"  he 
said,  again  and  again  ;  "  but,  right 
or  wrong,  I  must  go." 

I  took  an  immediate  resolution, 

"  I  suppose  you'll  go  by  the 
eleven-o'clock  train  to  Paris  to- 
morrow ?  " 

"  Yes,"  he  said. 

"  Well,  you're  wrong.  Good- 
night." 

At  twelve  o'clock  the  next  day 
I  called  in  Curzon  Street,  and 
sent  in  my  card  to  Lady  Daynes- 
borough. 

She  saw  me  at  once.  I  expect 
that  she  fancied  I  had  something 
to  do  with  her  husband's  sudden 
departure.  She  was  looking  pale 
and  dispirited,  and  I  rather  thought 
she  had    been   crying.     Her  hus- 


SPORT  ROYAL.  6? 

band,  it  appeared,  had  told  her 
that  he  had  to  go  to  Paris  on  busi- 
ness, and  would  be  back  in  three 
days. 

"  He  didn't  tell  you  what  it 
was?" 

"  No.  Some  public  affairs,  I 
understood." 

"  Lady  Daynesborough,"  said  I, 
"  you  hardly  know  me,  but  my 
name  tells  you  I  am  a  gentleman." 

She  looked  at  me  in  surprise. 

"  Why,  of  course,  Mr.  Jason. 
But  what  has  that  to  do " 

"  I  can't  explain.  But,  if  you 
are  wise,  you  will  come  with  me  to 
Paris." 

"  Go  with  you  to  Paris  !  Oh  ! 
is  he  in  danger  ?  " 

"  In  danger  of  making  a  fool  of 
himself.  Now,  I'll  say  nothing 
more.     Will  you  come  ?" 

"  It  will  look  very  strange." 

"  Very." 


68  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  In  fact — most  unusual." 

"Most." 

"  Won't  there  be  a — a — scandal, 
if " 

"  Sure  to  be.     Will  you  come  ? " 

"  You  must  have  a  reason,"  she 
said.     "  I  will  come." 

We  started  that  evening,  nine 
hours  after  My  Lord,  going  sep- 
arately to  the  station,  and  meet- 
ing on  the  boat.  All  through  the 
journey  she  scarcely  spoke  a  word. 
When  we  were  nearing  Paris,  she 
asked  : 

"  Do  you  know  where  he  is  ? " 

"  No  ;  but  I  can  trace  him,"  I 
replied. 

So  I  could.  I  bought  a  paper, 
and  found  that  Prince  and  Princess 
Ferdinard  had,  the  day  before, 
proceeded  from  Paris  en  route  for 
Glottenberg.  Of  course  Daynes- 
borough  had  followed  them. 
"  We  must  go  on,"  I  said. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  69 

"  Why  ?  " 

"  Because  your  husband  has 
gone  on." 

She  obeyed  me  like  a  lamb  ; 
but  there  was  a  look  about  her 
pretty  mouth  that  made  me  doubt 
if  Daynesborough  would  find  her 
like  a  lamb. 

We  went  to  the  principal  hotel 
in  Glottenberg.  I  introduced 
Lady  Daynesborough  as  my 
sister,  Miss  Jacynth  Jason,  and 
stated  that  she  was  in  weak 
health,  and  would  keep  her  room 
for  the  present.  Then  I  sallied 
forth,  intent  on  discovering  Du- 
mergue  ;  he  would  be  able  to 
post  me  up  in  the  state  of  affairs. 

On  my  way,  I  met  the  king  tak- 
ing his  daily  drive.  He  was  a 
dour,  sour-looking,  pasty-faced 
creature,  and  I  quite  understood 
that  he  would  fail  to  appreciate 
many  of  my  prince's  characteris- 


70  SPORT  ROYAL. 

tics.  A  priest  sat  by  him,  and 
a  bystander  told  me  it  was  the 
king's  confessor  (the  Glottenberg 
family  are  all  of  the  old  church), 
and  added  that  the  king's  con- 
fessor was  no  mean  power  in  the 
state.  I  asked  him  where  M. 
Dumergue  was  lodged,  and  he  di- 
rected me  to  Prince  Ferdinand's 
palace,  which  stood  in  a  pleasant 
park  in  the  suburbs  of  the  town. 

I  found  Dumergue  in  a  melan- 
choly condition,  though  he  pro- 
fessed to  be  much  cheered  by  the 
sight  of  me. 

"  My  dear  fellow,"  he  said, 
"  you,  if  anybody,  can  get  us  out 
of  this." 

"  I  never  knew  such  people," 
said  I.     "  What's  up  now  ?  " 

"There  has  been  a— an  ex- 
plosion. Did  you  ever  hear  of 
Daynesborough  ? " 

I  said  no,  and  Dumergue  told 


SPORT  ROYAL.  71 

me  of  the  princess'  former  pen- 
chaiit  for  him. 

"  Well  ? "  said  I. 

"  Well,  she's  invited  him  here, 
and  he's  now  in  the  palace.  You 
may  imagine  the  prince's  feelings." 

"  I  suppose  the  prince  can  turn 
him  out  ?" 

Dumergue  shook  his  head  dole- 
fully. 

"  She  holds  the  trumps,"  he 
answered.  "Jason,  she's  a  clever 
woman.  We  thought  we  had 
hoodwinked  her.  When  Daynes- 
borough  turned  up,  looking,  I'm 
bound  to  say,  very  sheepish,  the 
prince  was  really  quite  annoyed. 
He  told  the  princess  that  she  must 
send  him  away.  She  refused 
flatly.  '  Then  I  shall  consult  my 
brother,'  says  the  prince.  '  I 
shall  consult  the  king  too,'  said 
the  princess.  '  It's  indecent,'  said 
he.     *  It's  not  as  bad  as  taking  my 


72  SPORT  ROYAL. 

ladies  to  masked  balls  in  disguise,' 
she  answered.  'Oh,  you  think 
you  imposed  on  me — you  and 
that  clumsy  young  animal  (forgive 
me,  my  dear  fellow),  Jason.  I 
am  not  an  idiot.  I  knew  all  the 
time.  And  now  the  king  will 
know  too — unless  Lord  Daynes- 
borough  stays  just  as  long  as  I 
like.'  " 

"  Confound  her  !  "  said  I. 

"  There  it  is,"  he  went  on. 
"  The  prince  is  furious,  the  prin- 
cess triumphant,  and  Daynes- 
borough   in  possession." 

"  What  does  he  mean  to  do  ?  " 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders. 

"  Who  can  tell  ?  She's  a  little 
devil.  Fancy  pretending  to  be 
deceived,  and  then  turning  on  us 
like  this  !  You  should  have 
heard  her  describe  you,  my 
boy  !  "  and  Dumergue  chuckled 
in   sad   pleasure. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  73 

I  object  to  being  ridiculed, 
especially  by  women.  I  deter- 
mined to  take  a  hand  in  the 
game.  I  wondered  if  they  knew 
that  Daynesborough  was  mar- 
ried. 

"  I  suppose  this  young  Daynes- 
borough enjoys  himself  ?" 

"  Well,  he  ought  to.  He's  got 
nothing  to  lose ;  but  he  seems 
a  melancholy,  glum  creature.  I 
think  he  must  be  one  of  the  king's 
kidney." 

"  Or  married,  perhaps  ?  "  I  sug- 
gested airily. 

"  Oh,  no  !  She  wouldn't  have 
him  here,  if  he  were  married." 

I  saw  that  Dumergue  did  not 
yet  appreciate  the  princess  in 
whose  household  he  had  the 
honor  to  serve. 

"  She  won't  compromise  herself, 
I  suppose?" 

"  Not  she  ! "  he  replied  regret- 


74  SPORT  ROYAL. 

fully.      '*  She    may    compromise 
the    prince." 

I  rebuked  him  for  his  cynicism, 
and  promised  to  consider  and  let 
him  know  if  anything  occurred  to 
me.  My  hope  lay  in  Daynes- 
borough.  I  could  see  that  he 
was  galant  malgre  lui,  and  I 
thought  I  could  persuade  him 
that  he  had  done  all  that  his  mis- 
taken promise  fairly  entailed  on 
him  ;  or,  if  I  could  not  convince 
him,  I  had  a  suspicion  that  his 
wife  might,  could,  and  would,'  in 
a  very  peremptory  fashion,  if  I 
brought  about  an  encounter  be- 
tween them,  I  was  full  of  eager- 
ness, for,  apart  from  my  zeal 
in  the  cause  of  morality  and 
domestic  happiness,  I  did  not 
approve  of  being  called  a  clumsy 
young  animal.  It  was  neither 
true  nor  witty  ;  and  surely  abuse 
ought  to  be  one  or  the  other,  if  it 


SPORT  ROVAL.  75 

is  to  be  distinguished  from  mere 
vulgar  scurrility. 

I  have  been  told,  by  those  who 
know  the  place,  that  Glottenberg 
is  not,  as  a  rule,  a  very  exciting 
residence.  But  for  the  next  four- 
and- twenty  hours  I,  at  least,  had 
no  reason  to  grumble  at  a  lack  of 
incidents. 

The  play  began,  if  I  may  so 
express  myself,  by  the  princess 
sending  for  the  doctor.  The 
doctor,  having  heard  from  the 
princess  what  she  wanted  to  do, 
told  her  what  she  ought  to  do  ; 
of  course  I  speak  from  conjec- 
ture. He  prescribed  a  visit  to 
her  country  villa  for  a  week  or 
two,  plenty  of  fresh  air,  complete 
repose,  and  freedom  from  worry. 
Dumergue  told  me  that  the  prin° 
cess  considered  that  the  terms  of 
this  prescription  entailed  a  tem- 
porary separation   from  her  hus- 


76  SPORT  ROYAL. 

band,  and  that  the  prince  had 
agreed  to  remain  in  Glottenberg, 
The  princess  started  for  her  villa 
at  twelve  o'clock  on  Wednesday 
morning.  The  distance  was  but 
fifteen  miles,  and  she  traveled  by 
road  in  her  own  carriage,  although 
the  main  line  of  railway  from 
Glottenberg  to  Paris  passed  with- 
in  two  miles  of  her  destination. 

At  one  o'clock  Lord  Daynes- 
borough  was  received  by  Prince 
Ferdinand,  having  requested  an 
interview  for  the  purpose  of  tak- 
ing his  leave,  as  he  left  for  Paris 
by  the  five  o'clock  train.  Every- 
body knew  that  the  prince  and 
Daynesborough  were  not  on  cor- 
dial terms  ;  but  this  fact  hardly 
explained  Daynesborough's  ex- 
treme embarrassment  and  obvi- 
ous discomfort  during  the  brief 
conversation.  Dumergue  escorted 
him   from  the    prince's  presence. 


SPORT  ROVAL.  77 

and  said  that  he  was  shaking  Hke 
an  aspen-leaf  or  an  ill-made 
blanc-mange. 

At  three  o'clock  I  went  to  the 
hotel,  and  had  an  interview  with 
Lady  Daynesborough.  I  then 
returned  to  the  palace,  and  made 
a  communication  to  the  prince. 
The  prince  was  distinctly  per- 
turbed. 

"  I  never  thought  she  would  go 
so  far,"  he  said.  "It's  not  that 
she  cares  twopence  about  Daynes- 
borough." 

"  To  what,  then,  sir,  do  you 
attribute " 

"  Temper !  all  temper,  Mr. 
Jason  !  She  is  angry  about  that 
wretched  ball,  and  she  wants  to 
anger  me." 

"  Her  Royal  Highness  is,  how- 
ever, giving  a  handle  to  her 
enemies,"  I  ventured  to  sug- 
gest. 


78  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  She  must  come  back  to-night," 
said  he.  "  I  won't  be  made  to 
look  like  a  fool." 

''  My  plan  will,  I  hope,  dispose 
of  Lord  Daynesborough.  If  so. 
Your  Royal  Highness  might  join 
the  princess." 

"  I  shan't  do  anything  of  the 
sort.  I  shall  have  her  brought 
back." 

Apparently  there  was  a  reserve 
of  resolution  latent  somewhere  in 
this  indolent  gentleman. 

"  Will  you  go  yourself,  sir  ?  " 

"  No.     You  must  do  it." 

"I,  sir?  Surely,  M.  Du- 
mergue " 

"  Dumergue's  afraid  of  her. 
Will  you  bring  her  back?" 

"Supposing  she  won't  come?" 

"  I  didn't  request  you  to  ask 
her  to  come.  I  requested  you  to 
bring  her." 

I    looked    at   him    inquiringly. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  79 

He  inhaled  a  mouthful  of  smoke, 
and  added,  with  a  nod  : 

"Yes,  if  necessary." 

"Will  Your  Royal  Highness 
hold  me  harmless  from  the  king — 
or  the  law." 

"No.  I  can't.  Will  you  do 
it?" 

"  With  pleasure,  sir." 

At  ten  minutes  to  five,  Lady 
Daynesborough,  heavily  veiled, 
and  I  drove  up  to  the  station  in  a 
hired  cab,  and  hid  ourselves  in 
the  third-class  waiting  room.  At 
five  minutes  to  five.  Lord  Daynes- 
borough arrived.  He  wore  a  scarf 
up  to  his  nose,  and  a  cap  down  to 
his  eyes,  and  walked  to  the  station, 
unattended  and  without  luggage. 
He  got  into  a  second-class  smok- 
ing carriage — one  of  the  long 
compartments  divided  into  sepa- 
rate boxes  by  intervening  par- 
titions reaching  within  a  yard  of 


8o 


SPORT  ROYAL. 


the  roof,  a  gang-way  running 
down  the  middle.  On  seeing  him 
enter,  I  caught  the  guard,  gave 
him  twenty  marks,  and  told  him  to 
admit  no  one  except  myself  and 
my  companion  into  that  carriage. 
Then  I  hauled  Lady  Daynes- 
borough  in,  and  we  sat  down  at 
the  opposite  end  to  that  occupied 
by  her  husband. 

The  train  started.  It  was  only 
five-and-twenty  minutes'  run  to 
the  station  for  the  princess'  villa. 
There  was  no  time  to  lose. 

"  Are  you  ready  ?  "  I  whispered. 

"  Yes,"  she  answered,  her  voice 
trembling  a  little. 

We  rose,  walked  along,  and  sat 
down  opposite  to  Lord  Daynes- 
borough.  He  was  looking  out  of 
the  window,  although  it  was  dark, 
and  did  not  turn. 

"  Lord  Daynesborough,"  said  I, 
"  you  have  forgotten  your  ticket." 


SPORT  ROYAL.  8 1 

And  I  held  out  a  through  ticket 
to  Paris. 

He  started  as  if  he  had  been 
shot. 

"  Who  the  devil "  he  began. 

"  Jason  !  " 

"  Yes,"  said  I.  "  Here's  your 
ticket." 

"  I  thought  you  were  in  Eng- 
land," he  gasped. 

"  No,  I  am  here." 

"  Spying  on  my  actions  ?  " 

"  Acquainted  with  them." 

"  I'll  have  no  interference,  sir. 
If  you  know  me,  you  will  kindly 
be  silent,  and  leave  me  to  myself." 

Time  was  passing. 

"  You  are  going  to  Paris  with 
this  lady,"  said  I. 

"  You're  insolent,  sir — you  and 
your " 

"  Don't  say  what  you'll  regret. 
She's  your  wife." 

Well,   of   course    he    was   very 


82  SPORT  ROYAL. 

much  in  the  wrong,  and  looked 
uncommonly  ridiculous  to  boot. 
Still,  the  way  he  collapsed  was 
rather  craven.  I  withdrew  for 
five  minutes.  Then  I  returned, 
and  held  out  the  ticket  again.  He 
took  it. 

*'  If  you  will  leave  us  for  five 
minutes,  Lady  Daynesborough  ?  " 

She  went  into  the  next  box. 
Then  I  said  : 

"  Now,  we've  only  ten  minutes. 
We're  going  to  change  clothes. 
Be  quick." 

I  took  off  my  coat. 

"  By  God,  I'll  not  stand  this  !  " 

And  he  rose. 

In  a  moment  I  had  him  by  the 
collar,  and  was  presenting  a  pistol 
at  his  head. 

"  No  nonsense  !  "  I  whispered. 
"  Off  with  them  !  " 

He  might  have  known  I  would 
not  shoot  him  in  his  wife's  pres- 


SPORT  ROYAL.  83 

ence  ;  but  I  could  and  would 
have  undressed  him  with  my  own 
hands.     Perhaps  he  guessed  this. 

"Let  me  go,"  he  muttered. 

I  released  him,  and  he  took  off 
his  coat. 

The  train  began  to  slacken 
speed.  I  called  to  Lady  Daynes- 
borough,  who  rejoined  us. 

"  You  have  fulfilled  your  prom- 
mise,"  said  I  to  the  young  man. 
"  And,"  I  added,  turning  to  her, 
*'  I  have  fulfilled  mine.  Good- 
night !  " 

I  opened  the  door,  and  jumped 
out  as  we  entered  the  station.  I 
stood  waiting  till  the  train  started 
again,  but  Lord  Daynesborough 
remained  in  his  place.  I  wonder 
what  passed  on  that  journey.  She 
was  a  plucky  girl,  and  I  can  only 
trust  she  gave  him  what  he  de- 
served. At  any  rate,  he  never,  so 
far  as  I  heard,  ran  away  again. 


»4  SPORT  ROYAL. 

I  asked  my  way  to  the  villa, 
and  reached  it  after  half  an  hour's 
walking.  I  did  not  go  in  by  the 
lodge  gates,  but  climbed  the 
palings,  and  reached  the  door 
by  way  of  the  shrubberies.  I 
knocked  softly.  A  man  opened 
the  door  instantly.  He  must  have 
been  waiting. 

"  Is  it  Milord  ?"  he  said  in 
French. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered,  entering 
rapidly. 

"  You  are  expected,  Milord." 

I  did  not  know  his  voice,  and 
it  was  dark  in  the  passage. 

"I  am  wet,"  I  said.  "  Take  me 
to  a  fire." 

"  There  is  one  in  the  pan- 
try," he  answered,  leading  the 
way. 

We  reached  the  pantry,  and  he 
turned  to  light  the  gas. 

Looking  at  me  in  the  full  blaze, 


SPORT  ROYAL.  85 

he  started  back,  then  scruthiized 
me  closely,  then  exclaimed  : 

"  What  ?     You  are  not " 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  am  !  I  am  Lord 
DaynesboroLigh." 

"  It's  a  lie.  You  are  a  robber — 
a " 

"  I  am  Lord  Daynesborough 
— Lord  Daynesborough  —  Lord 
Daynesborough." 

At  each  repetition  I  advanced 
a  step  nearer  ;  at  the  last  I  pro- 
duced my  trusty  pistol,  at  the  same 
time  holding  out  a  bank-note  in 
the  other  hand. 

He  took  the  note. 

"You  will  stay  here,"  I  said, 
"for  the  next  two  hours.  You 
will  not  come  out,  whatever  hap- 
pens. Is  there  anyone  else  in  the 
house  ? " 

"  One  maid.  Milord,  and  a  man 
in  the  stables." 

"  Where  is  the  maid  ?  " 


86  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  In  the  kitchen." 

"  Is  the  man  within  hearing  ?  " 

"  No." 

"  Good  !  Is  the  princess  up- 
stairs ? " 

"She  is,  Milord." 

I  made  him  direct  me  to  the 
room,  and  left  him.  I  thought  I 
would  neglect  the  maid,  and  go 
straight  to  work.  I  went  up  to 
the  door  to  which  I  had  been 
directed,  and  knocked. 

"  Come  in  !  "  said  the  gentle, 
childlike  voice. 

I  went  in.  The  princess  was 
lying  on  a  sofa  by  the  fire,  reading 
a  paper-covered  book.  She  turned 
her  head  with  a  careless  glance. 

"  Ah,  you  have  come  !  Well,  I 
almost  hoped  you  would  be  afraid. 
I  really  don't  want  you." 

This  reception  would  probably 
have  annoyed  Lord  Daynes- 
borough. 


SPORT  ROYAL.  87 

"  Why  should  I  be  afraid  ?  " 
I  asked,  mimicking  Daynesbor- 
ough's  voice  as  well  as  I  could. 

Meanwhile  I  quietly  locked  the 
door. 

"  Why,  because  of  your  wife.  I 
know  you  tremble  before  her." 

I  advanced  to  the  sofa. 

'■'■  I  have  no  wife,"  I  said  ;  "  and, 
seeing  what  I  do,  I  thank  God 
for  it." 

She  leaped  up  with  a  scream, 
loud  and  shrill. 

A  door  opposite  me  opened,  and 
a  girl  rushing  in,  crying  : 

"  Madame  !  " 

"  Go  back  \  "  I  said.  "  Go 
back  !  " 

She  paused,  looking  bewildered. 
I  walked  quickly  up  to  her. 

"  Go  back  and  keep  quiet  ;  " 
and,  taking  her  by  the  shoulders, 
I  pushed  her  back  into  the  next 
room. 


88  SPORT  ROYAL. 

The  princess  rushed  to  the  other 
door,  and,  on  finding  it  locked, 
screamed  again. 

"  Nobody,"  I  remarked,  "  should 
embark  on  these  things  who  has 
not  good  nerves." 

She  recognized  me  now.  Her 
fright  had  been  purely  physical — 
I  suppose  she  thought  I  was  a 
burglar.  When  she  knew  me,  she 
came  forward  in  a  dignified  way, 
sat  down  on  the  sofa,  and  said  : 

"  Explain  your  conduct,  sir, 
if  you  are  in  a  condition  to  do 
so." 

"  I  am  sober,  madame,"  said  I ; 
"  and  I  have  two  messages  for 
you." 

"  You  present  yourself  in  a 
strange  way.  Pray  be  brief,"  and 
she  glanced  anxiously  at  the 
clock, 

"  Time  does  not  press,  madame," 
said  I.     "  Nobody  will  come." 


SPORT  ROVAL.  89 

"  Nobody    will What   do 

you  mean  ?     I  expect  nobody." 

"  Precisely,  madaine — and  no- 
body will  come." 

Her  ivory  fan  broke  between 
her  fingers  with  a  sharp  click. 

"  What  do  you  want  ?"  she  said. 

*'  To  deliver  my  messages." 

"Well?" 

"  First,  Lord  Daynesborough 
offers  his  apologies  for  being 
compelled  to  leave  for  Paris  with- 
out tendering  his  farewell." 

She  turned  very  red,  and  then 
very  white.  But  she  restrained 
herself. 

"  And  the  other  ?  " 

**  His  Royal  Highness  requests 
that  you  will  avail  yourself  of  my 
escort  for  an  immediate  return  to 
Glottenberg." 

"  And  his  reasons  ?  " 

"  Oh,  madame,  as  if  I  should 
inquire  them  1" 


9°  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  You  are  merely  insolent,  sir. 
I  shall  not  go  to-night." 

"  His  Royal  Highness  was  very 
urgent." 

She  looked  at  me  for  a  moment. 

"Why  had  Lord  Daynesbor- 
ough  to  leave  so  suddenly  ?"  she 
asked  suspiciously. 

"  His  wife  wished  it." 

"  Did  she  know  where  he  was  ? " 

"  Apparently.  She  followed 
him  to  Glottenberg.  She  arrived' 
there  yesterday." 

"  Now  I  see — now  I  under- 
stand !  I  had  to  deal  with  a 
traitor." 

"  You  must  bestow  trust,  if  you 
desire  not  to  be  deceived,  ma- 
dame.  You  dared  to  use  me  as 
a  go-between." 

"  You  had  had  practice  in  the 
trade." 

The  princess  had  a  turn  for 
repartee.     I  could    not   have  set 


SPORT  ROYAL.  QI 

her  right  without  quite  an  argu- 
ment.    I  evaded  the  point. 

"And  yet  Your  Royal  Highness 
thought  me  a  clumsy  animal !  " 

"  Oh,"  she  said,  with  a  slight 
laugh,  "  it's  wounded  a?nourpropre, 
is  it  ?  Come,  Mr.  Jason,  I  apolo- 
gize. You  are  all  that  is  brilliant 
and  delightful — and  English." 

"  Your  Royal  Highness  is  too 
good." 

"And  now,  Mr.  Jason,  your 
device  being  accomplished,  I 
suppose  I  may  bid  you  good- 
night?" 

"  I  regret,  madame,  that  I  must 
press  the  prince's  request  on  your 
notice." 

She  sighed  her  usual  impatient, 
petulant  little  sigh. 

"  Oh,  you  are  tiresome  !  Pray 
go!" 

"  I  cannot  go  without  you, 
madame." 


g2  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  I  am  not  going — and  my 
establishment  does  not  admit  of 
my  entertaining  gentlemen,"  she 
said,  with  smihng  effrontery. 

"  Your  Royal  Highness  refuses 
to  allow  me  to  attend  you  to 
Glottenberg  ?  " 

"  I  order  you  to  leave  this 
room." 

"  Finally  refuses  ?  " 

"Go." 

"  Then  I  must  add  that  I  am 
commissioned,  if  necessary,  to 
convey  your  Royal  Highness  to 
Glottenberg." 

"To  convey  me  ?  " 

I  bowed. 

"  You  dare  to  threaten  me  ?  " 

"  I  follow  my  instructions. 
Will  you  come,  madame,  or " 

"Well?" 

"  Will  you  be  taken  ? " 

I  was  not  surprised  at  her  vex- 
ation.    Dumergue     had,    in     his 


SPORT  ROYAL.  93 

haste,  called  her  "  a  little  devil." 
She  looked  it  then. 

"You  mean,"  she  asked  slowly, 
"  that  you  will  use  force  ?  " 

I  bowed. 

"  Then  I  yield,"  she  said,  after 
a  pause. 

I  called  the  maid,  and  told  her 
to  order  the  carriage  in  five 
minutes.  The  silence  was  un- 
broken till  it  came  round.  The 
princess  went  into  her  room,  and 
returned  in  cloak  and  hat,  carry- 
ing a  large  muff.  She  was 
smiling. 

"  Ah,  Mr.  Jason,  what  can  a 
woman  do,  against  men  ?  I  am 
ready.  We  will  go  alone.  The 
servants  can  follow." 

I   handed  her  into  the  coach, 

ordering  the  coachman  to  drive 

fast.     He  was  the  only  man  with 

us,  and  we  were  alone  inside. 

I    began,  perhaps  stupidly,  to 


94  SPORT  ROYAL. 

apologize  for  my  peremptory 
conduct.  The  princess  smiled 
amiably. 

"  I  like  a  man  of  resolution," 
she  said,  edging,  I  thought,  a 
trifle  nearer  me,  her  hands  nest- 
ling in  her  muff. 

Apparently  she  was  going  to 
try  the  effect  of  amiability.  I 
was  prepared  for  this.  She  would 
not  tempt  me  in  that  way. 

"  Your  Royal  Highnes  is  most 
forgiving." 

"  Oh,  that  is  my  way,"  she  an- 
swered, with  the  kindest  possible 
glance,  and  she  came  nearer  still. 

"  You  are  a  most  generous 
foe." 

She  turned  to  me  with  a  daz- 
zling smile. 

"  Don't  sa.y  /(?e,"  she  said,  with 
a  pretty  lingering  on  the  last 
word.  And  as  she  said  it,  I  felt  a 
knife  driven   hard   into  my  ribs, 


SPORT  ROYAL.  95 

and  the  muff  dropped  to  the 
ground. 

"  God  in  heaven  ! "  I  cried. 

The  princess  flung  herself  into 
the  corner  of  the  carriage. 

"Ha  — ha— ha!  Ha  — ha- 
ha  !  "  she  laughed,  merrily,  musi- 
cally, fiendishly. 

I  tried  to  clutch  her  ;  I  believe  I 
should  have  killed  her,  I  was  half 
mad.  But  the  blood  was  oozing 
fast  from  the  wound — only  the 
knife  itself  held  my  life  in. 
Things  danced  before  my  eyes, 
and  my  hands  fell  on  my 
lap. 

The  carriage  stopped,  the  door 
opened,  and  the  coachman  ap- 
peared. It  was  all  like  a  dream 
to  me. 

"  Take  his  feet,"  said  the  prin- 
cess. The  man  obeyed,  and  be- 
tween them  they  lifted,  or,  rather, 
hauled  and  pushed,  me  out  of  the 


q6  sport  royal. 

carriage,  and  laid  me  by  the  road- 
side. I  was  almost  in  a  faint,  and 
the  last  thing  I  was  conscious  of 
was  a  pretty,  mocking  mouth, 
which  said  : 

"  Won't  you  escort  me,  Mr. 
Jason  ?  " — and  then  added  to  the 
coachman,  "  To  Glottenberg — 
quick  !  " 

I  did  not  die.  I  was  picked 
up  by  some  good  folk,  and 
well  tended.  Dumergue  arrived 
and  looked  after  me,  and  in  a 
couple  of  weeks  I  was  on  my 
legs. 

"  Now  for  Glottenberg!  "  said  I. 

Dumergue  shook  his  head. 

"  You  won't  be  admitted  to  the 
town.'* 

"  Not  admitted  !  " 

"  No.  They  have  made  it  up — 
for  the  time.  There  must  be  no 
scandal.  Come,  Jason ;  surely 
you  see  that  ?" 


SPORT  ROYAL.  97 

"  She  tried  to  murder  me." 

"  Oh,  quite,  quite  !  "  said  he. 
"But  you  can't  prosecute  her." 

"And  I  am  to  be  turned  adrift 
by  the  prince  ?  " 

"  What  use  would  it  be  to  re- 
turn ?  No  doubt  you  annoyed 
her  very  much." 

"  I  wish  you  had  undertaken 
the  job." 

"  I  know  her.  I  should  have 
ridden  outside." 

"  It  is,  then,  the  prince's  wish 
that  I  should  not  return  ?  " 

"  Yes.  But  he  charges  me  to 
say  that  he  will  never  forget  your 
friendly  services." 

I  was  disgusted.  But  I  would 
force  myself  on  no  man. 

"  Then  I'll  go  home." 

"  That  will  be  much  best,"  he 
answered,  with  revolting  alacrity, 

"  I  say,  Dumcrgue,  what  does 
the  princess  say  about  me  ?  " 


98  SPORT  ROYAL. 

"  She  laughs  every  time  your 
name  is  mentioned,  and " 

"  The  devil  take  her  !  " 

"  She  says  you  may  keep  the 
knife ! " 

I  have  it  still,  a  little  tortoise- 
shell-handled  thing,  with  a 
sharp — a  very  sharp — point.  On 
the  blade  is  engraved,  in  German 
letters,  "  Sophia."  It  is  a  pretty 
toy,  and  in  its  delicacy,  its  tini- 
ness,  its  elegance,  its  seeming 
harmlessness,  and  its  very  sharp 
point,  it  reminds  me  much  of 
Princess  Ferdinand  of  Glotten- 
berg. 


A  TRAGEDY  IN  OUTLINE. 


Dear  Mr.  Brown  ;     *    *    *    * 
Yours  sincerely, 

M.  Robinson. 


II. 


My  Dear  Mr.  Brown  ;  *  *  *   * 
Always  yours  very  sincerely, 

Minnie  Robinson. 

III. 

My  Dear  Jack  (!)  :     *     *     *    * 
Yours  always, 

Minnie  Robinson. 

99 


lOO       A    TRAGEDY  IN  OUTLINE. 

IV. 

My  Dearest  Jack  ;  *    *    *    * 

Yours, 

Minnie. 


V. 


My  Darling  Jack  ;    *    *    *    * 
Lovingly,  your 

MiN. 

VI. 

My  Dearest  Jack  ;    *    *    *    * 

Lovingly, 

Minnie. 

VIL 

My  Dear  Jack  ;      *     *     *      * 
With  love, 

Yours, 
Minnie. 


A    TRAGEDY  IN  OUTLINE.        lOI 

VIII. 

Dear  Jack  :     *    *     *    * 
Ever  yours, 

Minnie  Robinson. 

IX. 

My  Dear  Mr.  Brown  :  *   *  *   * 
Your  sincere  friend, 

Minnie  Robinson. 


Dear  Mr.  Brown  :    *     *     *     * 
Yours  sincerely. 

M.  Robinson. 

XI. 

Silence. 


A  MALAPROPOS  PARENT. 

OUNG  Mr.  Pippitt  had 
a  father  somewhere  in 
ij  America.  Everyone  who 
knew  young  Mr.  Pippitt  knew  that; 
for  he  had  often  spoken  of  his 
father,  of  the  fortune  he  was  mak- 
ing, and  of  the  Uberal  presents  he 
sent  home.  Then  came  a  time 
when  young  Mr.  Pippitt  said  less 
about  his  father  and  less  about  the 
presents.  Thus  it  was  that  people 
had  almost  forgotten  the  existence 
of  old  Mr.  Pippitt,  when  it  was  re- 
called to  their  memories  in  a  very 
startling  and  tragical  way.  Old 
Mr.  Pippitt  had  landed  in  England 
and  was  on  his  way  to  London, 


A    MALAPROPOS  PARENT.        I03 

when  he  was  killed  in  a  great 
railway  disaster.  His  name, 
discovered  from  a  letter  in  his 
pocket,  was  published  ;  and  young 
Mr.  Pippitt  flew  to  the  scene. 
The  body  was  not  mangled  or 
disfigured,  and  after  one  moment 
of  extreme  agitation  the  bereaved 
son  informed  the  official  who  had 
led  him  to  where  the  dead  man 
lay  that  it  was  indeed  his  father. 
His  evidence  before  the  coroner 
put  the  matter  beyond  doubt, 
Mr,  Pippitt  buried  his  father,  as- 
sumed deep  mourning,  and  wrote 
to  the  company's  solicitors.  Re- 
pugnant as  it  was  to  him  to  ap- 
pear to  make  money  out  of  the 
unhappy  occurrence,  the  loss  of 
a  rich  and  liberal  parent  was  a 
matter  which  no  struggling  young 
man  could,  in  justice  to  him- 
self, submit  to  without  compensa- 
tion. 


I04      A    MALAPROPOS  PARENT. 

-Railway  companies,  having  an 
extensive  experience  of  humanity, 
are  prone  to  skepticism  ;  and  very 
many  inquiries  were  made  as  to  the 
life,  doings,  profession,  and  profits 
of  old  Mr.  Pippitt,  and  especially 
as  to  his  alleged  remittances  to 
his  son.  That  gentleman  stood 
the  fire  of  questions  very  success- 
fully ;  he  had  letters  from  his 
father  up  to  within  six  months  of 
the  accident,  and  he  proved  the 
receipt  of  very  considerable  yearly 
sums,  in  each  of  the  four  years 
during  which  his  father  had  been 
absent.  In  face  of  this  evidence, 
the  matter  in  issue  reduced  itself 
to  a  difference  of  opinion  between 
the  company  and  young  Mr.  Pip- 
pitt :  first,  as  to  the  probability 
of  old  Mr.  Pippitt  continuing  to 
make  money  ;  secondly,  as  to  the 
probability  of  his  continuing  to 
share  what  he  made  with  his  son. 


A    MALAPROPOS  PARENT.        I05 

More  concretely  still,  the  company, 
without  prejudice,  offered  two 
thousand  pounds,  and  Mr.  Pippitt, 
without  prejudice,  asked  seven 
thousand  ;  whereupon  the  case 
was   entered    for   trial. 

Mr.  Naylor,  the  company's 
counsel,  declared  that  young  Mr. 
Pippitt  was  one  of  the  best  wit- 
nesses he  had  ever  seen.  His 
demeanor  was  excellent,  his  facts 
irrefragable,  his  memory  neither 
unnaturally  bad  nor  suspiciously 
good.  The  last  letter  he  pro- 
duced from  his  father  inclosed  a 
draft  for  three  hundred  pounds, 
and  announced  the  writer's  return 
on  a  business  visit  by  the  next 
mail  but  one.  By  that  mail,  a 
gentleman  of  the  name  of  Pippitt 
had  crossed  the  ocean,  and  had, 
presumably,  taken  the  train  on 
landing,  and  met  his  death  in  the 
accident.      Mr.    Naylor   felt    his 


I06      A   MALAPROPOS  PAREST. 

case  was  so  bad  that  he  almost 
charged  young  Mr.  Pippitt  with 
direct  perjury,  and  twisted  up  a 
note  to  Mr.  Budge,  who  was  on 
the  other  side,  offering  four  thou- 
sand pounds  and  costs.  Mr, 
Budge  answered  that  he  must  con- 
sult his  client,  and  that  he  would 
wait  till  the  end  of  the  plaintiff's 
evidence.  j\Ir.  Naylor  nodded, 
and  redoubled  his  insinuations  of 
an  unscrupulous  conspiracy. 

Mr.  Budge  rose  to  re-examine 
with  a  smile  on  his  face.  Mr. 
Pippitt  said  he  had  no  reason  to 
anticipate  a  fallingoff  in  his 
father's  business  ;  it  was  well 
established  :  nor  in  his  father's 
liberality  ;  his  father  had  always 
led  him  to  suppose  that  he  would 
provide  for  him.  Yes,  there  was 
a  strong — yes,  a  very  strong, 
affection  between  them.  Here 
Mr.   Pippitt's  voice  faltered  ;  the 


A   MALAPROPOS  PA  PENT.        I07 

judge  nodded  sympathetically  ; 
and  the  foreman  of  the  jury 
wrote  ";^5,ooo  ?  "  on  a  slip  of 
paper  and  passed  it  round  the 
box. 

That  artistic  falter  produced 
another  effect  also.  The  gang- 
ways of  the  court  were  crowded 
with  the  usual  throng  of  idle  folk, 
assembled  to  hear  Mr.  Naylor's 
cross-examination  ;  and  as  the 
plaintiff  bore  witness  to  the  bonds 
of  love  which  bound  him  to  his 
father  there  came  from  the  re- 
cesses of  the  crowd  a  voice,  which 
said  : 

"  That  there  is  !  Let  me 
through  !  Who's  saying  my  boy 
doesn't  love  his  old  father  ?  " 

The  group  of  people  parted  ; 
and  an  elderly  man  came  to  the 
front,  advancing  in  an  uncertain, 
apologetic  manner. 

"  Silence  !  silence  !  "   cried  the 


I08      A    MALAPROPOS  PARENT. 

usher,  a  world  of  pained  indigna- 
tion in  his  accents. 

"  You  mustn't  disturb  the  court, 
sir  !  "  thundered  the  judge, 

"  I  came  to  speak  a  word  for 
Joe.  I  was  passing,  and  dropped 
in,  and,  seeing  Joe,  I  made  bold 
to  speak.  He's  been  a  good  son, 
has  Joe." 

The  judge  looked  appealingly 
at  counsel. 

"  Who  is  Joe,  and  who  is  this 
person  ?  "  And  getting  no  an- 
swer, he  turned  to  the  plaintiff. 
Young  Mr.  Pippitt  met  his  eye 
with  an  uneasy  smile. 

"  I  haven't  the  least  idea,  my 
lord,"  he  said. 

The  judge  looked  at  the 
writ. 

**  Your  name  is  Joseph  ? "  he 
asked. 

"  No,  it — yes — that  is,  certainly, 
my  lord." 


A    MALAPROPOS  PARENT.        IO9 

"  You  don't  seem  very  sure, 
sir,"  remarked  the  judge  ;  and  he 
added,  addressing  the  intruder, 
"  Who  are  you,  sir  ?  " 

The  old  man  seemed  in  a  nerv- 
ous and  broken-down  condition  ; 
but  he  stammered  out,  "  He's  my 
son,  my  son,  ray  lord." 

"  It's  a  lie,"  cried  young  Mr. 
Pippitt. 

"  Held  your  tongue  till  you're 
asked  to  speak,"  said  his  lordship 
snappishly.  "  I  want  to  hear  what 
this  man  has  to  say." 

The  old  man  had  much  to  say  : 
much  of  young  Mr.  Pippitt's  virtue, 
industry,  and  much  of  his  own  for- 
tunes, misfortunes,  and  wrongs. 
He  usurped  the  functions  of  both 
lawyer  and  witness,  and  all  the 
■court  listened  to  him. 

•'  I'm  glad  to  be  here,  gentle- 
men," he  said — "  glad  to  be  here. 
I  thought  I  was  never  going  to 


no      A   MALAPROPOS  PARENT. 

get  out  of  that  cell  they  put  me  in, 
not  for  long  years.  But  here  I 
am,  Joe,  thank  God  ! " 

"  Who  put  you  in  a  cell  ? "  asked 
the  judge. 

"I'm  telling  you  as  fast  as  I 
can,"  answered  the  old  man  petu- 
lantly. "I'd  just  written  to  Joe 
to  send  him  a  bit  of  money  and 
tell  him  to  look  out  for  me,  when 
they  brought  a  charge  of  fraud 
against  me — against  me,  a  respect- 
able merchant.  And  I  was  tried  : 
tried  and  found  guilty — unjustly, 
my  lord — and  sentenced  to  five 
years.  To  think  of  it  !  They 
didn't  know  me  out  in  Louisiana  ; 
no  east-coast  jury  would  have 
convicted." 

"  Why  didn't  they  know  you  ?  " 

"  I  wasn't  going  to  have  my 
name  known.  I  called  myself 
Brown  ;  and  they  convicted  me — 
as  I  wrote  to  you,  Joe — for  five 


A   MALAPROPOS  PARENT.        Ill 


years.  But  the  Governor  did  his 
duty.  He  was  a  white  man,  the 
Governor.     He  let  me  out." 

"Why?"  asked  the  judge 
curiously. 

"  Was  a  white  man  to  get  five 
years  for  besting  a  nigger  ? " 
demanded  the  old  man,  with  his 
first  approach  to  vigor.  "  Not 
if  the  Governor  knew  it  !  Oh, 
he  was  a  white  man.  So  here 
I  am,  Joe — here  I  am,  thank 
God  ! " 

The  judge  leaned  forward  and 
asked,  "  Have  you  any  letters 
from  the  man  you  say  is  your 
son?" 

The  old  man  pulled  a  dirty 
letter  out  of  his  pocket,  and 
handed  it  up  with  a  bewildered 
look. 

Young  Mr.  Pippitt  still  looked 
on  with  his  fixed  smile,  while  the 
judge  read  : 


112     a  malapropos  parent. 

"  Dear  Father  : 

"  It's  a  bad  job  that  you're 
nabbed.  Five  years  is  no  joke. 
Why  were  you  such  a  fool  ?  You 
were  right  about  the  name.  Keep 
it  quite  dark,  for  God's  sake  ! 
I'll  see  what  I  can  do. 

"  Yours, 

"  Received  your  last  all  right." 

"  Is  that  your  handwriting  ?  " 
the  judge  asked  of  the  plaintiff; 
but  young  Mr.  Pippitt  swayed  to 
and  fro  and  fell  in  a  faint  in  the 
witness-box.  The  judge  turned 
to  Mr.  Budge. 

"  Do  you  desire,"  he  asked, 
"  that  this  man  should  be  sworn, 
and  repeat  his  evidence  on  oath, 
so  that  you  may  cross-examine 
him  ?  " 

Mr.  Budge  looked  at  his  inani- 
mate client,  and  answered,  "I  do 


A   MALA PROPOS  PA  REN T.        113 

not,  my  lord.  I  shall  probably 
have  your  lordship's  approval  in 
withdrawing  from  the  case  ?  " 

While  the  judge  directed  the 
jury  to  return  a  verdict  for  the 
defendant,  the  old  man  had- 
anxiously  watched  the  usher, 
who  was  unloosing  young  Mr. 
Pippitt's  neckcloth.  When  the 
plaintiff  revived,  the  old  man 
leaned  over  to  Mr.  Budge,  and 
said,  with  a  pleased  smile,  "  Oh, 
he'll  be  all  right  directly,  won't 
he  ?  I  thought  I  could  help  a  bit. 
I  have  helped  a  bit,  haven't  I?" 

*'  You  have  helped  him  to 
twelve  months'  hard  labor,"  said 
Mr.  Budge. 

But  the  old  man  did  not  under- 
stand what  it  all  meant,  till  one 
day  they  took  him  to  Kensal 
Green,  and  showed  him  a  hand- 
some tombstone.  The  inscrip- 
tion ran  : 


114     a  malapropos  parent. 

"  In  Memory  of  James  Pippitt." 

The  old  man  read  and  laughed. 
"To  think  of  that!"  he  said. 
"  It  beats  everything  !  " 
He  read  on  with  a  chuckle  : 

"  Erected  by  his  sorrowing  son^ 
Joseph  Pippitt.  Born  13th  De- 
cember, 182 1.  Died  5th  Febru- 
ary, 189 1.  '  I  shall  go  to  him, 
but  he  shall  not  return  to  me.' " 

This  prophecy  might  or  might 
not  be  true  of  the  person  interred 
beneath  the  tombstone.  On  its 
unfortunate  inapplicability  to  his 
father,  and  on  the  tainting  of  the 
fountain  of  Louisiana  justice, 
young  Mr.  Pippitt  enjoyed  twelve 
months'  quiet  reflection. 


HOW   THEY    STOPPED  THE 
"RUN." 

HERE  was  a  run  on  the 
Sandhill  and  District 
Bank,  It  had  lasted  the 
whole  of  one  day,  and  had  shown 
no  signs  of  abating  in  the  even- 
ing. If  it  lasted  another  day  ! 
Old  Mr.  Bradshaw  wiped  his 
brow.  It  had  come  just  at  the 
awkwardest  time — just  after  the 
farmers  had  got  their  usual  loans, 
just  when  securities  were  hard  to 
realize  ;  in  fact,  just  at  the  mo- 
ment when  the  bank,  though  in 
reality  solvent,  was  emphatically 
not  in  a  position  in  answer  a  long- 
continued  demand  for  payment  on 

"5 


Il6  HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  '■'■  RUN." 

the  spot.  Mr.  Bradshaw  groaned 
out  all  these  distressing  facts  to 
his  son  Dick.  It  was,  indeed,  no 
use  talking  to  Dick,  for  he  took 
no  interest  in  business,  and  had 
spent  the  day  in  a  boat  with  the 
Flirtington  girls  ;  still,  Mr.  Brad- 
shavv  was  bound  to  talk  to  some- 
one. 

"  We  shall  have  to  put  the  shut- 
ters up.  One  day's  grace  would 
save  us,  I  believe  ;  we  could  get 
the  money  then.  But  if  they're 
at  us  again  to-morrow  morning, 
we  can't  last  two  hours." 

Dick  sympathized,  but  had 
nothing  to  suggest,  except  that  it 
would  not  make  matters  worse  if 
he  carried  out  his  engagement  to 
go  to  the  circus  with  the  Flirting- 
ton  girls. 

"  Oh,  go  to  h— 11  with  the  Flirt- 
ington girls,  if  you  like,"  groaned 
Mr.  Bradshaw. 


HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "-'RUNy   H? 

So  Dick  went— to  the  circus 
(the  other  expedition,  as  he  ob- 
served, would  keep),  and  enjoyed 
the  performance  very  much,  es- 
pecially the  lion-taming,  which 
was  magnificent,  and  so  impressed 
Dick  that  he  deserted  his  com- 
panions, went  behind  the  scenes, 
and  insisted  on  standing  Signor 
Philippini  several  glasses. 

"Is  that  big  chap  quite  safe?" 
he  asked  admiringly. 

"  /  can  do  anythink  with  'im," 
said  the  signor  (whose  English 
was  naturally  defective)  ;  "  but 
with  anyone  helse  'e's  a  roarer,  'e 
is,  and  no  mistake." 

After  the  performance  Dick 
took  the  Flirtington  girls  home  ° 
then,  with  a  thoughtful  look  on 
his  face,  he  went  and  had  some 
talk  with  his  father,  and  came 
away,  carefully  placing  a  roll  of 
notes  in  his  breast  pocket.     Then 


1 18  HOIV  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "  RUN." 

he  sought  Signer  Philippini's  so- 
ciety once  more.  And  that's  all 
that  is  really  known  about  it — if, 
that  is,  we  discard  the  obviously 
fanciful  statement  of  Fanny  Flirt- 
ington  that,  as  she  was  gazing 
at  the  moon  about  2  a.  m.,  she 
saw  a  heavy  wagon,  drawn  by  two 
horses  and  driven  by  Signer 
Philippini,  pass  along  the  street  in 
the  direction  of  the  bank.  She 
must  have  been  wrong ;  for 
Philippini,  by  the  evidence  of  his 
signora  (whose  name,  notwith- 
standing that  Philippini's  morals 
were  perfectly  correct,  was  Mrs. 
Buggins),  went  to  bed  at  11.30, 
and  snored  like  a  pig  all  night. 

However  these  things  may  be, 
this  is  what  happened  next  morn- 
ing. When  the  first  of  the  de- 
positors arrived  at  7  a.  m.,  they 
found  one  of  the  windows  of 
the  bank  smashed    to  pieces  and 


HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  ''RUN."   HQ 

the  shutter  hanging  loose.     A  cry 
went   up   that  there  had  been  a 
robbery,  and  one  or  two  men  be- 
gan to  cUmb  in.     They  did  not 
get  far  before  a  fearful  roar  pro- 
ceeded   from    the    neighborhood 
of   the  counter.     They  looked  at 
one  another,  and  said  it  would  be 
more    regular    to    wait    for    the 
officials.     The    roars    continued. 
They    sent    for    Mr.    Bradshaw. 
Hardly  had  he  arrived  (accompa- 
nied by  Dick,  breathless   and   in 
shirt-sleeves)  before  the  backmost 
rows    of    the    now    considerable 
crowd  became  agitated  with  a  new 
sensation.      The      news      spread 
rapidly.     Frantic  men  ran  to  and 
fro  ;    several    ladies   fainted  ;   the 
circus-proprietor  was  sent  for.     A 
lion  had    escaped  from  the  men- 
agerie,  and  was  supposed  to  be  at 
large  in  the  town  ! 

"  Send   for   Philippini !  "  cried 


I20  HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "  RUN." 

the  proprietor.  They  did  so. 
PhiHppini  had  started  early  for  a 
picnic  in  the  country,  and  would 
not  return  till  just  before  the  per- 
formance in  the  evening.  The 
proprietor  was  in  despair. 

*'  Where's  the  beast  gone  to  ? " 
he  cried. 

A  roar  from  the  bank  answered 
his  question. 

"  Well,  I'm  blowed  if  he's  not 
in  the  bank  !  "  exclaimed  the  pro- 
prietor. 

It  certainly  appeared  to  be  the 
fact  that  Atlas  (that  was  the 
lion's  name)  had  taken  refuge  in 
the  bank,  and  was  in  full  posses- 
sion of  the  premises  and  assets. 
Under  these  circumstances  there 
was,  Mn  Bradshaw  explained,  a 
difficulty  in  resuming  cash  pay- 
ments ;  but  if  his  checks  would  be 

accepted The  crowd   roared 

almost  as  loud  as  Atlas  at  such  an 


now  THEY  STOPPED  THE'' RUN."   121 

idea.  Something  must  be  done. 
They  sent  for  the  mayor ;  he 
repudiated  liability.  They  sent 
for  the  fire  brigade  and  the  life- 
boat crew  ;  neither  would  come. 
They  got  guns,  and  peppered  the 
furniture.  Atlas  retired  behind 
the  fireproof  safe  and  roared 
worse  than  ever.  Meanwhile  the 
precious  hours  were  passing. 
Mr.  Bradshaw's  money  was  also 
on  its  way  from  London.  At 
last  Dick  took  a  noble  resolu- 
tion. 

"  I  will  go  in  at  any  cost,"  he 
cried,  and,  in  spite  of  Fanny 
Flirtington's  tears,  he  scaled  the 
window  and  disappeared  from 
view.  The  crowd  waited  to  hear 
Atlas  scrunching ;  but  he  only 
roared.  When  Dick  was  inside, 
he  paused  and  asked  in  a  low 
voice  :  "  Is  he  chained  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  answered  Signer  Philip- 


122   HOIV  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "  RUN." 

pini  from  behind  the  safe.  "  Is 
the  Aunt  Sally  business  over?" 
and  he  came  out  with  a  long  pole 
in  his  hand.  He  used  the  pole  to 
stir  poor  Atlas  up  when  the  roars 
became  deficient  in  quantity  and 
quality. 

"  The  money  ought  to  be  here 
in  three  hours,"  said  Dick. 
"Have  you  got  the  back-door 
key  ? " 

Philipplni  reassured  him.  Then 
Dick  took  a  wild  running  leap  at 
the  window  ;  Philippini  stirred  up 
Atlas,  who  roared  lustily.  Dick 
escaped  with  his  life,  and  landed, 
a  breathless  heap,  at  the  mayor's 
feet.  The  mayor  raised  him,  and 
said  he  should  write  to  Her 
Majesty,  and  suggest  that  Dick 
would  be  a  proper  recipient  of 
the  Albert  Medal,  and  the  vicar 
(who  had  no  money  in  the  bank) 
indignantly   asked   the   crowd    if 


HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "■' RUN."    I23 

they  could  not  trust  a  family 
which  produced  scions  like  that. 
Several  people  cried  *'  Hear, 
hear  !  "  and  told  Mr.  Bradshaw 
that  they  never  really  meant  to 
withdraw  their  deposits.  Mr. 
Bradshaw  thanked  them,  and 
looked  at  his  watch. 

At  half-past  three  Philippini 
ran  up  ;  he  also  was  breathless, 
and  his  shoes  were  dusty  from 
walking  in  the  country.  At  once 
he  effected  an  entry,  amid  a  scene 
of  great  excitement.  A  moment 
later  he  appeared  at  the  window 
and  cried  in  a  terror-stricken 
voice  : 

"  I  can't  'old  'im  !  I  can't  'old 
'im  !  'E's  mad  !  Look  out  for 
yourselves  !  "  and  he  leaped  from 
the  window. 

The  crowd  fled  in  all  directions, 
and  two  boys  were  all  but  run 
over  by  a  cart  which   was  being 


124  HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE''  RUN.'' 

driven  rapidly  from  the  railway 
station  to  the  bank. 

"  All  right,"  said  Dick  to  the 
signor ;  "bring  up  the  wagon." 
And  then,  with  great  difficulty  and 
consummate  courage,  the  signor 
and  Dick  brought  an  iron  cage  up 
to  the  window,  and  drove  Atlas 
in.  The  operation  took  more  than 
an  hour,  because  they  had  to  feed 
Atlas  and  drink  a  bottle  of  cham- 
pagne themselves  before  they  set 
about  it.  So  that  it  was  six  o'clock 
before  Atlas  was  out,  and  the 
money  was  in,  and  the  Sandhill 
and  District  Bank  opened  its  doors 
for  business. 

"We  gained  just  the  time  we 
needed,"  said  Mr.  Bradshaw. 
"  It  was  dirt-cheap  at  fifty 
pounds  !  " 

And  Dick,  although  he  did  not 
get  the  Albert  Medal,  was  taken 
into     partnership,     and     married 


HOW  THEY  STOPPED  THE  "  RUN:"    125 

Fanny  Flirtington.  It  was  the 
only  way  of  preventing  her  seeing 
things  she  was  not  meant  to  see 
out  of  the  window  at  2  a.  m.  and 
chattering  about  them  in  public. 


A  LITTLE  JOKE, 

DAY  or  two  before  Eas 
ter,  I  was  sitting  in  my 
office,  finishing  up  some 
scraps  of  work,  and  ever  and  anon 
casting  happy  glances  at  my  port- 
manteau, which  stood  in  the  cor- 
ner. I  was  just  off  to  spend  a 
fortnight  with  my  old  friend  Colo- 
nel Gunton,  in  Norfolk,  and  I 
was  looking  forward  to  seeing 
him  again  with  great  pleasure. 
We  had  not  met  for  ten  years, 
and  I  had  never  been  to  his  place 
or  seen  any  of  his  family.  It 
would  be  delightful. 

The  telephone  bell  rang. 
"  Oh,    confound     it  !     I     hope 
that's    nothing   to   keep   me  !  "  I 
126 


A   LITTLE  JOKE.  127 

exclaimed  ;    and    I    rose    to    see 
to  it. 

"  Mr,  Miller  ?    Are  you  there  ? " 

"Yes." 

"All  right.     I'll  come  round." 

A  few  minutes  passed,  and  then 
my  clerk  announced,  "  A  lady  to 
see  you,  sir." 

A  remarkably  pretty  girl  of 
about  eighteen  was  ushered  in. 
She  stood  still  some  way  from  me 
till  the  door  was  closed.  Then 
she  suddenly  rushed  toward  me, 
fell  at  my  feet,  and  exclaimed, 
"You     will     protect    me,    won't 

you?" 

"  My  dear  young  lady,  what  in 

the  world " 

"  You're  the  famous  Mr.  Miller, 
aren't  you?  Mr.  Joseph  Miller, 
the  philanthropist  ? " 

"  My  name  is  Joseph  Miller 
certainly." 

"  Ah  !     Then  I  am  safe  ;  "  and 


128  A   LITTLE  JOKE. 

she  sat  down  in  an  armchair,  and 
smiled  confidingly  at  me. 

"  Madam,"  said  I  sternly, 
"  will  you  have  the  goodness  to 
explain  to  what  I  owe  the  pleas- 
ure of  this  visit  ?  " 

"  They  told  me  to  come  to 
you." 

"  Who  ? " 

"  Why,  the  people  at  the  police 
station." 

"  The  police  station  ?  " 

"  Yes,  when  they  let  me  go — 
because  it  was  a  first  offense,  you 
know.  They  said  you  always  took 
up  cases  like  mine,  and  that  if  I 
stuck  to  you  I  should  be  well 
looked  after." 

It  was  quite  true  that  I  have 
taken  an  interest  in  rescuing 
young  persons  from  becoming 
habitual  criminals  ;  but  I  was 
hardly  prepared  for  this. 

*^  What  have  you  been  doing  ?  " 


A   LITTLE  JOKE.  I2q 

"  Oh,  nothing  this  time — only  a 
bracelet," 

"  This  time  ?  " 

"  They  didn't  know  me  up 
here,"  she  explained  smilingly. 
"  I've  always  practiced  in  the 
country.  Wasn't  it  lucky?  But 
really,  Mr.  Miller,  I'm  tired  of  it  ; 
I  am  indeed.  The  life  is  too  ex- 
citing :  the  doctors  say  so ;  so 
I've  come  to  you." 

The  case  was  a  strange  one, 
but  I  had  no  time  to  investigate  it 
now.  It  wanted  only  half  an  hour 
to  the  time  my  train  left  Liver- 
pool Street. 

"  What  is  your  name  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Sarah  Jones." 

"  Well,  I  will  have  your  case 
looked  into.  Come  and  see  me 
again  ;  or,  if  you  are  in  distress, 
you  may  write  to  me — at  Colonel 
Gunton's,  Beech  Hill,  Norfolk. 
I  shall  be  staying  there " 


I30  A    LITTLE  JOKE. 

"  Going  now?" 

"  I  start  in  a  few  minutes." 

"  Oh,  I'll  come  with  you." 

*'  Madam,"  I  answered,  with 
emphasis,  "  I  will  see  j'ou — out  of 
the  office  first." 

"  But  what  am  I  to  do  ?  Oh, 
it's  nonsense  !  I  shall  come.  I 
shall  say  I  belong  to  you." 

I  rang  the  bell.  "  Show  this 
lady  out,  Thomas,  at  once." 

She  laughed,  bowed,  and  went. 
Evidently  a  most  impudent  hussy. 
I  finished  my  business,  drove  to 
Liverpool  Street,  and  established 
myself  in  a  first-class  smoking  car- 
riage. I  was  alone,  and  settled 
myself  for  a  comfortable  cigar.  I 
was  rudely  interrupted.  Just  as 
the  train  was  starting,  the  door 
opened — and  that  odious  young 
woman  jumped  in. 

"  There  !  I  nearly  missed 
you  ! "    she     said. 


A   LITTLE  JOKE.  13 1 

"  I  can  hold  no  communication 
with  you,"  said  I  severely  ;  "  you 
are  a  disgrace  to  your — er — 
sex." 

"  It's  all  right.  I've  wired  to 
the  colonel." 

"You've  wired  to  my  friend 
Colonel  Gunton  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  didn't  want  to  surprise 
them.  I  said  you  would  bring  a 
friend  with  you.  It's  all  right, 
Mr.  Miller." 

"  I  don't  know  who  you  are  or 
what  you  are  ;  but  the  Guntons 
are  respectable  people,  and  I  am  a 
respectable  man,  and " 

"  That's  no  reason  why  you 
should  promenade  up  and  down, 
Mr.  Miller.  It's  very  uncomfort- 
able for  me." 

"  What  is  the  meaning  of  this 
insolent  behavior  ?  " 

<'  Why  not  be  friendly  ?  We're 
off  now,  and  I  must  go  on," 


132  A   LITTLE  JOKE. 

"  I  shall  give  you  in  charge  at 
the  next  station." 

"  What  for  ?  " 

On  reflection,  I  supposed  she 
had  committed  no  criminal 
offense  ;  and  with  a  dignified  air 
I  opened  my  paper. 

**  I  don't  mind  you  smoking," 
she  said,  and  took  out  a  box  of 
chocolates. 

I  was  at  my  wits'  end.  Either 
this  girl  was  mad  or  she  was  a 
dangerous  and  unscrupulous  per- 
son. She  was  quite  capable  of 
making  a  most  unpleasant  and  dis- 
creditable commotion  on  the  plat- 
form  at  Beach  Hill  Station.  What 
in  the  world  was  I  to  do  ? 

"Shall  we  stay  long  at  the  Gun- 
tons'  ? "  she  asked. 

"You,  madam,  will  never  go 
there." 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  shall." 

"  Indeed   you  won't.     I'll  take 


A    LITTLE  JOKE.  133 

care  of  that.     The  poHce  will  see 
to  that." 

"  I  don't  care  a  fig  for  the 
police.  I  shall  go  and  stay  as 
long  as  you  do.  They  told  me  to 
stick  to  you." 

I  became  angry.  Any  man 
would  have.  But  nothing  was  to 
be  gained  by  losing  my  temper.  I 
took  out  a  sovereign. 

"  If  you'll  get  out  at  the  next 
station,  I'll  give  you  this." 

She  laughed  merrily.  "  I 
thought  you  went  in  for  personal 
supervision,  not  mere  pecuniary 
doles,"  she  said  ;  "  I  read  that  in 
your  speech  at  the  Charity  Organi- 
zation meeting.  No  ;  I'm  not  to 
be  bribed.  I'm  going  to  the 
Guntons'." 

"  It's  absurd.  It's  preposter- 
ous. What  will— what  will  Mrs. 
Gunton  say  ?  " 

"  Oh,  s/ie  won't  mind,"  answered 


134  A    LITTLE  JOKE. 

my  companion,  with  a  confident 
nod.  "  Siie's  used  to  girls  like 
me." 

"  You  surprise  me,"  I  retorted 
sarcastically  ;  but  she  only  laughed 
again.     I  returned  to  my  paper. 

An  hour  passed  in  silence.  The 
train  began  to  slacken  speed  as  we 
neared  the  station  next  before 
Beech  Hill.  She  looked  up  and 
said  : 

*'  Would  you  really  rather  T 
didn't  come  with  you  ?  " 

I  had  passed  a  wretched  hour. 
This  girl  was  evidently  bent  on 
blasting  my  character, 

"Madam,"  I  said,  ''if  you'll 
get  out  at  this  station,  I'll  give 
you  a  five-pound  note." 

"  What  ?  I  heard  you  never 
gave  away  a  farthing  !  They  said 
no  one  could  get  a  penny  out  of 
you." 

"  It  is  true  that  I  disapprove  of 


A   LITTLE  JOKE.  135 

indiscriminate  charity  ;  but,  under 
the  circumstances,  I " 

"  Thinlc  I  am  a  deserving 
object  ?     Well,  I'll  take  it." 

With  a  sigh  of  relief,  I  took  a 
note  from  my  pocket-book,  and 
gave  it  her. 

"  I'll  pay  it  back  soon,"  she 
said. 

"  Never  let  me  see  your  face 
again." 

"  Apologize  for  me  to  the  Gun- 
tons.     Good-by." 

She  jumped  out  lightly,  and  I 
sank  back,  murmuring,  "  Thank 
Heaven  !  " 

After  I  got  rid  of  her  my  jour- 
ney was  peaceful  and  happy,  and 
I  forgot  my  troubles  in  the  warm 
greeting  my  old  friend  Bob  Gun- 
ton  and  his  wife  gave  me.  The 
girl  must  have  lied  about  the  tele- 
gram ;  at  least.  Bob  made  no 
reference   to   it.     He   had  a  fine 


135  A  LITTLE  JOKE. 

family  of  boys  and  girls,  and  pre« 
sented  them  to  me  with  natural 
pride. 

"  That's  my  lot — except  Addie, 
She's  gone  to  see  some  friends  ; 
but  we  expect  her  back  every 
minute.  They  keep  me  alive,  I 
can  tell  you,  Miller." 

After  tea,  my  host  and  hostess 
insisted  on  taking  me  for  a  stroll 
on  the  terrace.  It  was  a  beautiful 
evening,  and  I  did  not  mind  the 
cold.  As  we  were  talking  to- 
gether, I  heard  the  rumble  of 
wheels.  An  omnibus  stopped  at 
the  gate. 

"  Ah,  the  'bus,"  said  Gunton  ; 
'*  it  runs  between  here  and  our 
market-town." 

I  hardly  heard  him  ;  for,  to  my 
horror,  I  saw,  descending  from  the 
'bus  and  opening  the  gate,  that 
girl  ! 

"  Send   her    away  !  "   I  cried  ; 


A    LITTLE  JOKE.  137 

*'  send  her  away  !  On  my  honor, 
Bob,  as  a  gentleman,  I  know  noth- 
ing about  her." 

**  Why,  what's  the  matter  ?  " 

"  I  solemnly  assure  Mrs.  Gun- 
ton  and  yourself  that " 

"What's  the  matter  with  the 
man  ?     What's  he  talking  about  ? " 

"Why,  Bob,  that  girl— that 
barefaced  girl  !  " 

"  That  girl  !  Why,  that's  my 
daughter  Addie  ! " 

"  Your  daughter  ?  " 

The  little  minx  walked  up  to  me 
with  a  smile,  dropped  a  little  court- 
esy, and  said  :  "  I  knew,  Mr. 
Miller,  that  it  wasn't  true  that  you 
would  refuse  to  help  a  really 
deserving  case.  The  others  said 
you  would  ;  but  I  thought  better 
of  you." 

And  she  had  the  effrontery, 
then  and  there,  to  tell  her  parents 
all  about  it  ! 


138  A    LITTLE  JOKE. 

I  think  parents  are  the  most 
infatuated  class  of  persons  in  the 
community.  They  laughed,  and 
Mrs.  Gunton  said,  "  How  clever 
of  you,  Addie  !  You  must  forgive 
her,  Mr.  Miller.  My  dear  girls 
are  so  playful  !  " 

Playful .'  And  she  never  re- 
turned the  five-pound  note  ! 


A  GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

ISS  TABITHA  GREY 
had  not  reached  the  age 
of  forty-five  years  with- 
out acquirhig  an  extensive  and 
unfavorable  knowledge  of  her 
sex.  Men  were  wicked  ;  Miss 
Grey  admitted  and  deplored  the 
fact,  but  it  was  so  much  in  the 
order  of  nature  that  she  had 
almost  ceased  to  cavil  at  it.  But 
that  women  should  be  wicked  ! 
Here  Miss  Grey's  toleration  gave 
out.  And  so  many  women,  espe- 
cially young  women,  and  more 
especially  pretty  young  women, 
were  wicked.  It  was  atrocious  ! 
Entertaining  this  general  opinion, 
Miss  Grey,  as  a  matter  of  course, 
139 


I40    ^    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

held  Maggie  Lester  in  the  utmost 
detestation.  The  Waterfall  Hotel 
was,  in  fact,  hardly  large  enough 
to  contain,  in  any  comfort,  Miss 
Grey  on  the  one  hand  and  on 
the  other  Maggie  Lester,  her 
brother  Charles,  and  their  friend 
and  traveling  companion.  Cap- 
tain Petrie.  It  is  true  that  the 
feeling  of  discomfort  was  entirely 
confined  to  Miss  Grey.  The 
young  people  were  very  civil 
to  her  when  any  one  of  them 
happened  to  be  next  her  at 
table  d'/iote,  and  at  other  times 
thought  nothing  about  her  ; 
but  Miss  Grey  endured  agonies 
enough  for  an  hotelful  of  people. 
She  shuddered  at  Maggie's  striped 
waistcoat  and  white  sailor's  knot 
with  its  golden  pin,  at  her  brown 
boots,  at  her  love  of  long  and 
hard  rides,  at  her  not  infrequent 
slang  ;  above  all,  at  the  terms  of 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY.     14I 

hearty  and  familiar  camaraderie 
on  which  she  thought  fit  to  con- 
duct her  acquaintance  with  Cap- 
tain Petrie.  The  decorum  of 
literature  forbids  that  Miss  Grey's 
inmost  suspicions  should  be  put  in 
writing  ;  it  must  suffice  to  say  that 
they  were  very  dark  indeed — so 
dark  that  all  the  other  ladies,  to 
whom  Miss  Grey  repeated  them, 
could  not  but  come  to  the  conclu- 
sion that  there  must  be  some  truth 
in  them. 

One  morning,  after  breakfast, 
Miss  Grey  took  her  knitting  and 
the  Church  Times  and  sat  down 
in  the  veranda.  A  moment  later, 
to  her  disgust,  Charlie  Lester  and 
Captain  Petrie  came  out  of  the 
breakfast  room,  lit  their  pipes, 
and,  after  a  polite  "  Good-morn- 
ing," took  their  seats  a  few  yards 
from  her.  Miss  Grey  sniffed  the 
tobacco-tainted      air,     and      was 


142     A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

about  to  rise  and  ostentatiously 
remove  herself  from  the  infected 
zone,  when  she  heard  a  scrap  of 
conversation  between  the  two 
young  men  which  entirely  altered 
her  determination.  She  sat  still 
and  listened  with  all  her  mio;ht. 

"  I  wonder  when  Maggie  will 
be  down,"  said  Lester  ;  "  I  want 
to  tell  her." 

"  Oh,  you're  too  late,"  said 
Petrie;  "I've  told  her." 

"  What,  have  you  seen  her  ? " 

''Yes.  I  knew  she'd  like  to 
know,  so  I  went  outside  her  door 
five  minutes  ago  and  shouted 
what  we'd  heard,  and  she  came 
out  directly." 

"Had  she  anything  on?"  in- 
quired Lester,  in  an  interested 
tone. 

"  No,"  responded  Captain  Pe- 
trie ;  "  but  that  made  no  differ- 
ence. 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORA  LI  TV.    143 

"  It  would  to  me,"  said  Lester. 
with  a  smile. 

"  And  to  me,"  said  the  captain  ; 
"  but  it  didn't  to  her.  I  reminded 
her  of  it,  and  she  said  that  it 
made  no  odds— she  wanted  to 
hear  all  I  knew  directly.  So  we 
stood  in  the  passage,  and " 

Miss  Grey  had  been  gradually 
becoming  more  and  more  horri- 
fied. She  had  been  prepared  for 
a  good  deal,  but  this  was  too 
much.  And  the  creature's  own 
brother  listened  to  it !  Her  knit- 
ting  fell  from  her  grasp,  and  the 
needles  jangled  on  the  tiled  floor. 
The  captain  hastened  to  pick 
them  up,  interrupting  his  narra- 
tive for  that  purpose ;  but  Miss 
Grey  froze  him  with  an  awful 
look,  and  strode  into  the  house. 

Miss  Grey  was  a  woman  who 
never  allowed  herself  to  be  turned 
from   the  path  of   duty,   however 


144    A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

painful  that  path  might  be  to 
others.  She  soon  made  up  her 
mind  as  to  what  she  must  do, 
and,  having  come  to  a  resolu- 
tion, she  laid  the  whole  matter 
before  an  informal  committee  of 
three  irreproachable  and  austere 
matrons,  whom  she  selected  from 
among  her  fellow-guests.  The 
immediate  result  of  their  confer- 
ence was,  that  when  Maggie 
Lester,  looking  very  fresh  and 
blooming  after  her  morning 
gallop,  came  in  to  luncheon  and 
took  her  place  at  the  table,  no 
fewer  than  four  elderly  ladies 
put  down  their  knives  and  forks, 
rose  from  their  chairs,  and 
solemnly  stalked  out  of  the  room. 

"Hullo!  what's  up?"  said 
Charlie  Lester. 

But  nobody  knew  what  was  up  ; 
and,  to  all  appearance,  Maggie 
least  of    all,   for  she    cheerfully 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY.     I45 

began  her  lunch,  mere  remark- 
ing to  the  captain,  as  though  in 
continuance  of  a  previous  con- 
versation: 

"  It  wouldn't  have  been  so  bad 
if  I'd  had  anything — even  the 
least  little  bit — on,  would  it?" 

"  Ah,  you  ought  to  have  put 
your  boots  on,"  said  the  captain, 
with  a  smile. 

A  fifth  lady,  sitting  by,  over- 
heard these  remarks,  and  when, 
after  lunch.  Miss  Grey  informed 
her  of  the  startling  occurrence  of 
the  morning,  her  testimony  com- 
pleted the  damning  chain  of  evi- 
dence. They  made  a  joke  of  it ! 
What  could  the  suggestion  of 
boots — only  boots — be,  except  a 
vulgar,  shameless  jest  ?  The 
ladies  went  in  a  body  to  the 
proprietor,  and  intimated  that 
either  they  or  the  Lester  party 
must   forthwith    leave   the   hotel. 


146    A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

The  proprietor  demanded  rea- 
sons ;  cogent,  irrefragable  reasons 
were  supplied  by  Miss  Grey  and 
the  fifth  lady — reasons  clothed, 
of  course,  in  decorous  language, 
but  unmistakably  revealing  the  in- 
famous conduct  of  Maggie  Lester. 

*'  I  assure  you,  ladies,"  ex- 
claimed the  proprietor,  beads  of 
perspiration  standing  on  his  brow, 
*'  it's  the  first  time  such  a  thing 
has  ever  occurred  in  my  house." 

"  It  must  be  the  last,"  said 
Miss  Grey  firmly. 

"  I  will  act  at  once,"  declared 
the  proprietor.  *'  This  is  a  re- 
spectable house,  and  such  pro- 
ceedings cannot  be  tolerated. 
Good  gracious !  It  would  en- 
danger my  license  !  " 

"  And  your  soul,"  said  Miss 
Grey  solemnly. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  miss  ?  " 
said  the  proprietor. 


A    GUARD/AN  OF  MORAL/TV.     147 

''A/iJ  your  soul,"  repeated 
Miss  Grey. 

"  Oh,  yes,  to  be  sure — of  course, 
my  soul,  miss.  As  it  was,  I  had 
a  bother  about  it  last  year — my 
license,  I  mean,  miss.  I'll  go  to 
Mr.  Lester  at  once." 

The  proprietor  was  a  nervous, 
bashful  man,  and  when  he  found 
himself  standing  before  the 
Lesters  and  Captain  Petrie,  as 
they  drank  their  after-luncheon 
coffee,  he  was  much  embarrassed. 
At  last  he  managed  to  indicate 
that  he  wished  to  speak  to  Mr. 
Lester  alone. 

"  Oh,  nonsense  !  "  said  Charlie. 
"  Go  on.     What's  the  matter  ?  " 

The  proprietor  nerved  himself 
for  the  effort.  After  all,  if  these 
people  were  not  ashamed  for 
themselves,  why  should  he  blush 
for  them  ?  Looking  sternly  at 
Charlie,  he  began  to  formulate  his 


Jt48    A     GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

accusation.  He  had  not  got  far 
before  Maggie  gave  a  little  shriek 
of  amazement  ;  and  the  captain, 
jumping  up,  seized  him  by  the 
collar,  and  exclaimed  : 

"  What  do  you  mean,  you  little 
rascal  ?  What's  this  scandalous 
nonsense  you've  got  hold  of  ? " 
and  the  captain  shook  his  host 
severely. 

"  I  am  not  to  be  bullied,  sir," 
said  the  proprietor  stoutly.  "  I 
have  excellent  authority  for  what 
I  say,  and " 

"  Whose  authority  ?  " 

The  proprietor  vouched  Miss 
Grey  and  the  fifth  lady. 

"  We  must  look  into  this,"  said 
the  captain. 

Maggie,  who  was  blushing 
severely,  but  was  not  without  a 
secret  tendency  to  convulsive 
laughter,  was  prevailed  upon  to 
accompany   them,   and    the   four 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY.     149 

proceeded  to  the  drawing  room, 
where  the  Inquisition  sat  en- 
throned on  the  sofa,  Miss  Grey- 
presiding.  Miss  Grey  rose  with  a 
gesture  of  horror. 

"  Not  gone  yet  ? "  she  ex- 
claimed. 

"  No,  ma'am,"  said  the  captain  ; 
"  we  want  to  hear  your  story  first." 
"  Have   you    no  shame  ?  "    de- 
manded Miss  Grey  of  Maggie. 

"  Never  mind  that,  ma'am,"  said 
the  captain  ;  "  let's  have  the  story 
first." 

Miss  Grey  cast  an  appealing 
glance  at  the  ceiling,  and  began  : 
"  With  my  own  ears  I  heard  it. 
Mrs.  Britson  [Mrs.  Britson  was 
the  fifth  lady]  will  confirm  what  I 
say.  With  my  own  ears  I  heard 
Captain  Petrie  relate  to  Mr.  Les- 
ter— to  this  person's  brother — 
that  he  had  had  an  interview  with 
this  person  when  this  person  was 


ISO    A    CUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

entirely "     Miss  Grey  paused 

for  a  moment,  gathered  her  cour- 
age, and  added  in  an  awestruck 
whisper,  "  disrobed." 

A  shudder  ran  through  the 
audience.  The  culprits'  faces  ex- 
pressed real  or  simulated  aston- 
ishment. 

"  If  I  must  put  it  plainly," 
pursued  Miss  Grey — and  at  this 
several  ladies  opened  their  fans 
and  held  them  before  their  faces 
— "Captain  Petrie  said  that  Miss 
Lester — that  person — had  nothing 
on,  and  that  when  he  reminded 
her  of  it  she  stated  that  the  cir- 
cumstance was  immaterial.  Sub- 
sequently, at  luncheon,  the  young 
woman  herself  admitted  the  fact 
in  the  hearing  of  Mrs.  Britson. 
If  that  is  not  enough " 

It  apparently  was  enough,  for 
Charlie  Lester  threw  himself  into 
an  armchair  with  a  wild  shriek  of 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY.     151 

laughter.  Maggie's  slight  figure 
shook  convulsively  as  she  hid  her 
face  in  her  handkerchief,  and 
Captain  Petrie,  after  a  moment's 
blank  amazement,  cried  out  : 

"  By  Jove  !  I've  got  it.  Oh  ? 
this  beats  anything  !  "  And  he 
joined  in  with  a  loud  guffaw. 

"  Is  that  the  way  you  treat  such 

a  —  an     abominable "    began 

Miss  Grey  austerely. 

"  Oh,  stop  !  for  Heaven's  sake 
stop  !  "  exclaimed  the  captain  ; 
"you'll  be  the  death  of  me,  you 
really  will  !  " 

Silence  followed  for  a  moment, 
and  the  captain,  conquering  his 
mirth,  went  on  :  "I  don't  know  if 
any  of  you  ladies  go  in  for  horse- 
racing.  Probably  not  ;  I'm  sure 
Miss  Grey  doesn't.  Well,  this 
morning  I  heard  that  a  horse  of 
mine  which  is  running  in  a  race 
to-day  had  done  an  exceptionally 


152    A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORALITY. 

and  quite  unexpectedly  good 
trial — I  mean,  had  proved  a  far 
faster  runner  than  we  had  sup- 
posed. In  fact,  there  was  little 
doubt  that  he  would  win  the  race. 
Sometimes,  ladies,  I  am  wicked 
enough  to  bet.  Occasionally 
Charlie  Lester  is  equally  wicked. 
Now  and  then  Miss  Lester  yields 
to  that  vice.  Well,  as  you  know, 
we  are  far  from  a  telegraph  here  ; 
and  we  were  much  annoyed, 
Charlie  and  I,  that  we  could  not 
take  advantage  of  our  fresh  in- 
formation to  bet  on  the  horse — 
to  put  something  on,  as  we  say„ 
Miss  Lester  regretted  also,  when 
I  told  her  the  news,  that  she  had 
nothing  on — the  horse.  Do  you 
begin  to  understand,  ladies  ?" 

The  ladies  glanced  at  one  an- 
other  in  some  confusion.  Miss 
Grey  looked  angry  and  suspi- 
cious. 


A    GUARDIAN  OF  MORAL/ TV.     153 

"  And  the  boots?  "  she  said. 

"  To  put  your  boots  on  a 
horse,"  explained  the  captain 
pohtely,  "  is  a  slang  expression 
for  betting  your  entire  available 
fortune  on  his  success.  An- 
other expression  is  to  put  your 
shirt " 

"Sir  !"  said  Miss  Grey. 

But  Miss  Grey's  sway  was 
ended.  Maggie  burst  into  a 
fresh  fit  of  laughter,  and,  after  a 
moment's  pause  the  whole  com- 
pany followed  suit.  Miss  Grey 
turned  and  left  the  room.  The 
next  day  she  left  the  hotel  ;  she 
could  not  face  her  victorious  foes. 
Captain  Petrie  insisted  on  hand- 
ing her  into  the  omnibus,  saying 
as  he  did  so,  ''  Be  easy,  my  dear 
madam.  In  future  it  shall  be  my 
care  to  see  that  Miss  Lester  has 
something  on/' 


NOT  A  BAD  DEAL 

llHE  little  volume  of  verses 
entitled,  "To  Lalage," 
made  quite  a  stir  in  the 
literary  world.  One  critic  of  note 
said  that  it  was  instinct  with  classic 
grace;  another  that  it  was  in- 
formed by  the  true  spirit  of  Hellas ; 
a  third  that  it  had  a  whiff  of  Hy- 
mettus;  a  fourth  that  it  was  hardly 
suitable  for  family  reading;  and 
on  the  strength  of  all  this  lauda- 
tion, "To  Lalage"  was  a  success, 
and  several  copies  were  bond  fide 
sold  to  complete  strangers.  Im- 
agine, then,  the  bitterness  of  heart 
with  which  Adrian  Pottles,  the 
gifted  author,  saw  himself  com- 
pelled to  maintain  strict  anonym- 

^54 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL.  155 

ity,  and   to  conceal  from  a  world 
thirsting  to  know  him  that  he  was 
the    "A.   P."   v/hose    initials  ap- 
peared in  Old  English  letters  on 
the  title-page.      Yet  he  did    not 
hesitate;  for  he  knew  that  if  his 
uncle,    Mr.    Thomas    Pottles,    of 
Clapham     Common,     discovered 
that   he   wrote   not    only    verses, 
which  was  bad,  but  amatory  verses, 
which  was  atrocious,  his  means  of 
present  livelihood  and  prospects  of 
future  affluence  would  vanish  into 
thin  air.     For  Mr.  Pottles  was  a 
man  of  strict  views;  and,  whether 
one   regarded  this   world  or    the 
next,  there  could  be  no  question 
that  a  bank  clerk  of  Evangelical 
connections   committed    a    grave 
fault  in  writing  love  poems.     So 
poor  Adrian  had  to  make  up  his 
mind  to  remain  unknown,  and  to 
hold   his   tongue    even    when   he 
heard  that  another  man  had  been 


156  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

claiming  the  authorship  of  "To 
Lalage."  Luckily,  perhaps,  he 
failed  to  find  out  who  this  mis- 
creant was,  or  probably  his  indig- 
nation would  have  overcome  his 
prudence,  and  he  would  at  any 
cost  have  claimed  his  own. 

The  secret  was  well  kept;  and 
Adrian  received  the  usual  check  at 
Christmas-time,  and  with  it  the 
usual  invitation  to  spend  the  festive 
season  with  his  uncle,  and  to  bring 
with  him  his  young  friend  Peter 
Allison,  to  whom  old  Mr.  Pottles 
had  taken  a  great  fancy.  Peter 
was  a  man  of  many  engagements, 
but,  sought  after  as  he  was  and 
proclaimed  himself  to  be,  he  re- 
membered the  good  cheer  at  Mr. 
Pottles',  and  accepted  the  invita- 
tion. They  went  down  together; 
Adrian  bewailing  his  hard  fortune 
and  denouncing  the  impostor; 
Peter    warmly   sympathizing,  but 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL.  157 

counseling  continued  silence  and 
prudence. 

"Ah,  if  I  could  only  claim  it!" 
cried  Adrian,  opening  his  Glad- 
stone bag  and  gazing  fondly  at  half 
a  dozen  neat,  clean  copies  of  "To 
Lalage."  "I  should  be  the  lion 
of  the  season,  Peter." 

Peter  smiled  and  shook  his  head. 
"A  fortune  is  better  than  fame, 
Adrian,"  said  he. 

For  a  day  or  two  all  went  well 
at  Clapham.  The  old  gentleman 
was  in  the  best  of  tempers,  and  the 
two  young  men  did  their  best  to 
keep  him  in  it,  indorsing  all  his 
views  as  to  the  lax  morality  and 
disgraceful  tone  which  pervaded 
modern  literature  and  modern 
society;  and  when  they  had  done 
their  duty  in  this  way  they  re- 
warded themselves  by  going  in 
next  door  and  having  tea  with 
Dora   Chatterton,    a    young  lady 


158  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

whom  they  both  thought  charm- 
ing. Indeed,  Adrian  thought  her 
so  charming  that,  after  a  short 
acquaintance,  he  sent  her  a  copy 
of '  'To  Lalage" — with  the  author's 
kind  regards.  Now,  Miss  Dora 
Chatterton  adored  genius.  She 
had  thought  both  Adrian  and  Peter 
very  pleasant  young  men;  she  had 
perceived  that  they  both  thought 
her  a  very  pleasant  young  woman  ; 
and  she  had  been  rather  puzzled  to 
know  which  of  them  she  would,  in 
a  certain  event,  make  up  her  mind 
to  prefer.  "To  Lalage"  settled 
the  question.  It  was  the  gifted 
author,  A.  P.,  who  deserved  her 
love;  and  A.  P.  obviously  stood, 
not  for  Peter  Allison,  but  for 
Adrian  Pottles. 

The  very  next  morning  she 
called  early  at  Mr.  Pottles'.  She 
found  him  alone ;  the  boys,  he 
explained,  had   gone  for  a  walk. 


NOT  A   BAD  DEAL.  159 

Dora  was  disappointed  ;  but,  fail- 
ing the  author  himself,  she  was 
content  to  pour  her  praises  into 
the  ears  of  an  appreciative  and 
proud  uncle.  She  did  so,  express- 
ing immense  admiration  for 
Adrian's  modesty  in  not  having 
told  Mr.  Pottles  of  his  achieve- 
ment. 

"Humph!"  said  Mr.  Pot- 
tles. "Let  me  see  these — er — 
things." 

The  effect  of  "To  Lalage"  on 
Mr.  Pottles  was  surprising,  and 
particularly  so  to  Dora.  In  less 
than  ten  minutes  she  found  her- 
self being  shown  the  door,  and 
intrusted  with  a  letter  to  her 
mother  in  which  Mr.  Pottles  stated 
that  she  had  been  reading  wicked 
books,  and  ought,  in  his  opinion, 
to  be  sent  to  her  own  room  for  an 
indefinite  period. 

"And  I  shall  know  if  you  don't 


I60  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

give   it    her,"    said    Mr.    Pottles 
viciously. 

Thus  it  happened  that  Adrian' 
and  Peter,  as  they  were  returning, 
met  poor  Dora  on  the  steps  with 
this  horrid  note  in  one  hand  and 
her  pocket-handkerchief  in  the 
other — for  Mrs.  Chatterton  shared 
Mr.  Pottles'  views,  and  Dora  did 
not  enjoy  having  to  deliver  the 
note.  They  were  just  hastening 
up  to  speak  to  her,  when  Mr. 
Pottles  himself  appeared  on  the 
steps,  holding  out  "To  Lalage" 
in  his  hand.  Adrian  grasped  the 
situation. 

"For  Heaven's  sake,  Peter," 
he  whispered,  "say  you  wrote  the 
beastly  thing;  I'm  ruined  if  you 
don't." 

"Eh?     But  he'll  kick  me  out." 

"I'll  stand  a  pony." 

"Two;'  said  Peter  firmly. 

"Well,  two;  but  be  quick." 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL.  l6l 

Then  Peter  spoke  up  like  a 
man,  and  accepted  the  blame  of 
"To  Lalage." 

"But  your  initials  aren't  A, 
P.,"  objected  Mr.  Pottles. 

"To  avoid  suspicion,  I  reversed 
the  order;  mine  are  P.  A." 

"James,"  said  Mr.  Pottles  to 
the  footman,  "pack  Mr.  Allison's 

bag." 

But  Dora  gave  Peter  the  kind- 
est and  most  admiring  glance  as 
she  murmured  softly  to  Adrian, 
"They're  lovely!  Oh,  don't  you 
wish  you  could  write  verses,  Mr. 
Pottles?" 

Adrian  started.  He  had  not 
bargained  for  this;  but  Peter  had 
overheard,  and  interposed : 

"I  am  more  than  consoled  by 
your  approval,  Miss  Chatterton." 

Mr.  Pottles  called  to  Adrian, 
and  he  had  to  go  in,  leaving  Dora 
and  Peter  in   close  conversation, 


l62  NOT  A   BAD  DEAL. 

and  to  assure  his  uncle  solemnly 
that  he  had  been  entirely  disap- 
pointed and  deceived  in  Peter, 
and,  worse  still,  in  Dora,  and  that 
he  never  wished  to  see  either  of 
them  again.  Mr.  Pottles  shook 
him  by  the  hand  and  forgave  him. 

Adrian  passed  a  wretched  week. 
In  several  newspapers  he  saw  it 
openly  stated  that  Peter  now  ad- 
mitted he  was  the  author  of  "To 
Lalage."  Peter  wrote  that  the  fifty 
pounds  were  most  convenient,  and 
that  he  had  had  a  most  charming 
letter  from  Dora,  and  that  all  the 
literary  world  was  paying  him 
most  flattering  attentions.  Adrian 
ground  his  teeth,  but  he  had  to 
write  back,  thanking  Peter  for  all 
his  kindness. 

Meanwhile  Mr.  Pottles  grew 
restless.  Every  paper  he  took  up 
was  full  of  the  praises  of  "To 
Lalage. ' '     The  author  was  becom- 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL.  163 

ing  famous,  and  Mr.  Pottles  began 
to  doubt  whether  he  had  done  well 
to  drive  him  forth  with  contumely. 

"Adrian,"  he  said  suddenly  one 
morning,  "I  don't  know  that  I 
did  justice  to  young  Allison.  I 
shall  have  another  look  at  that 
book.  I  shall  order  it  at 
Smith's." 

"I — I  happen  to  have  a  copy," 
said  Adrian  timidly. 

"Get  it,"  said  Mr.  Pottles. 
Mr.  Pottles  read  it — first  with  a 
deep  frown,  then  with  a  judicial 
air,  then  with  a  smile,  lastly  with 
a  chuckle. 

"Ask  him  to  dinner,"  he  said. 
"Oh,  and,  Adrian,  we'll  have  the 
Chattertons.  I  wish  you  could  do 
something  to  get  your  name  up, 
my  boy." 

"You  like  it,  uncle?" 

"Yes,  and  I  like  the  manly  way 
he  owned   to  it.     If  he   had  pre- 


I64  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

varicated  about  it,  I'd  never  have 
forgiven  him." 

After  this  Adrian  did  not  dare 
to  confess.  It  was  too  bad. 
Here  were  both  his  uncle  and 
Dora  admiring  Peter  for  his 
poems,  and  crediting  Peter  with 
candor  and  courage.  He  was  to 
lose  both  fame  and  Dora!  It  was 
certainly  too  much.  A  sudden 
thought  struck  him.  He  went  to 
town,  called  on  Peter,  and,  as  the 
police  reports  say,  "made  a  com- 
munication" to  him. 

"It  makes  me  look  a  scoun- 
drel," objected  Peter. 

"Two  hundred — at  six  months," 
suggested  Adrian. 

"And    she    is    a    nice  girl 

No,  I'm  dashed " 

"A  monkey  at  three!"  cried 
Adrian. 

"Done!"  said  Peter. 

It  was  a  sad  tale  of  depravity 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL.  I65 

on  one  side,  and  of  self-sacrificing 
friendship  on  the  other,  that  Mr. 
Pottles  and  Dora  Chatterton  list- 
ened to  that  evening. 

"He  had  made,"  said  Adrian 
sadly,  "a  deliberate  attempt  to  rob 
me  of  my  fame  before,  and  he 
repeated  it.  And  yet,  uncle,  an 
old  friend — boyhood's  companion 
— how  could  I  betray  him?  It 
was  weak,  but  I  could  not.  I 
stood  by,  and  let  him  deceive 
you." 

"You're  a  noble  fellow,"  said 
Mr.  Pottles,  in  tones  of  emotion. 

"Indeed,  yes,"  said  Dora,  with 
an  adoring  glance. 

"There,  let  us  say  no  more 
about  it,"  pursued  Adrian  magnan- 
imously. "I  have  my  reward," 
and  he  returned  Dora's  glance 
behind  Mr.  Pottles'  broad  back. 

The  next  time  he  met  Peter, 
he  said,  "I  am  really  immensely 


l66  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

indebted  to  you,  old  fellow.  My 
uncle  has  come  down  handsome, 
and  if  the  monkey  now  would  be 
conv " 

"By  Gad,  yes!"  said  Peter. 
He  took  it  in  crisp  notes,  and 
carefully  pocketed  them. 

"And  is  Miss  Dora  kind?"  he 
asked. 

"She's  an  angel." 

"And  you  are  generally  pros- 
perous?" 

"Thanks  to  you,  my  dear  old 
friend." 

"Then,"  said  Peter,  producing 
a  piece  of  paper  from  his  pocket, 
"you  might  persuade  your  pub- 
lishers to  withdraw  this  beastly 
thing."  It  was  a  writ,  and  it 
claimed  an  injunction  to  restrain 
Peter  from  claiming  the  authorship 
of  "To  Lalage." 

"Then  you've  been  publicly 
claiming  it?" 


NOT  A    BAD  DEAL,  "i-^l 

"I  had  to  keep  up  the  illusion, 
Adrian.     Do  me  justice." 

"But,"  said  Adrian,  "how, 
Peter — how  does  it  happen  that 
the  writ  is  dated  the  day  before 
we  went  to  Clapham?" 

He  paused.  Peter  grinned 
uneasily.  A  light  broke  in  on 
Adrian. 

"Why,"  he  exclaimed,  "you're 
the  villain  who " 

"Exactly.  Wonderfully  provi- 
dent of  me,  wasn't  it?  What, 
you're  not  going?" 

"Never  let  me  see  your  face 
again,"  said  Adrian.  "I  have 
done  with  you." 

He  rushed  out.  Peter  whistled 
gently,  and  said  to  himself,  "Not 
a  bad  deal !  He  must  stop  the 
action,  or  the  old  man  will  twig." 

Then  he  whistled  again,  and 
added,  "Glad  I  got  it  in  notes. 
He'd  have  stopped  a  check." 


I68  NOT  A    BAD  DEAL. 

A  third  time  he  whistled,  and 
chuckled  and  said,  "Now,  I  won- 
der if  old  Adrian  '11  make  five 
hundred  and  fifty  out  of  it!  Not 
a  bad  deal,  Peter,  my  boy!" 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

IDDLETON  was  doing 
very  well ;  everybody  ad- 
mitted that — some  patron- 
izingly, others  enviously.  And 
yet  Middleton  aimed  high.  He 
eschewed  pot-boilers,  and  devoted 
himself  to  important  subject  pic- 
tures, often  of  an  allegorical 
description.  Nevertheless,  his 
works  sold,  and  that  so  well  that 
Middleton  thought  himself  justi- 
fied in  taking  a  wife.  Here, 
again,  good  fortune  attended  him. 
Miss  Angela  Dove  v/as  fair  to  see, 
possessed  of  a  nice  little  income, 
and,  finally,  a  lady  of  taste,  for 
she  accepted  Middleton's  ad- 
dresses. Decidedly  a  lucky  fellow 
169 


lyo  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

all  round  was  Middleton.  But, 
in  spite  of  all  his  luck,  his  face  was 
clouded  with  care  as  he  sat  in 
his  studio  one  summer  evening. 
Three  months  before  he  had  been 
the  recipient  of  a  most  flattering 
commission  from  that  wealthy  and 
esteemed  connoisseur  the  Earl  of 
Moneyton.  The  earl  desired  two 
panels  for  his  hall.  "I  want,"  he 
wrote,  "two  full-length  female 
figures  —  the  one  representing 
Heavenly  Love,  the  other  Earthly 
Love.  Not  a  very  new  subject, 
you  will  say;  but  I  have  a  fancy 
for  it,  and  I  can  rely  on  your 
talent  to  impart  freshness  even  to 
a  well-worn  theme." 

Of  course  there  was  no  difficulty 
about  Heavenly  Love.  Angela 
filled  the  bill  (the  expression  was 
Middleton's  own)  to  a  nicety. 
Her  pretty  golden  hair,  her  sweet 
smile,  her  candid  blue  eyes,  were 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL.         I?! 

exactly  what  was  wanted.     Mid- 
dleton  clapped  on  a  pair  of  wings, 
and  felt  that  he  had  done  his  duty. 
But    when   he    came    to    Earthly 
Love  the  path  was  not  so  smooth. 
The  earl  demanded  the  acme  of 
physical    beatuy,     and     that    was 
rather  hard   to  find.       Middleton 
tried  all  the  models   in    vain;  he 
frequented  the  theaters  and  music- 
halls   to  no  purpose;   he  tried  to 
combine   all  the   beauties   of   his 
acquaintance  in   one   harmonious 
whole,    but    they    did    not    make 
what     tea-dealers    call     a    "nice 
blend."     Then  he  tried  to  evolve 
Earthly  Love  out  of  his  own  con- 
sciousness,   but     he     could     get 
nothing  there  but   Angela  again; 
and  although  he   did  violence   to 
his    feelings   by  giving  her  black 
hair  and  an  evil  cast  in  her  eye, 
he    knew   that,    even   thus   trans- 
formed, she  would  not  satisfy  the 


172  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

earl.  Middleton  was  in  despair; 
his  reputation  was  at  stake.  The 
thought  of  Angela  could  not  con- 
sole him. 

"I'd  give  my  soul  for  a  model!" 
cried  he,  flinging  aside  his  pencil 
in  despair. 

At  this  moment  he  heard  a 
knock  at  the  door.  He  existed 
on  the  charwoman  system,  and 
after  six  o'clock  in  the  evening 
had  to  open  his  own  door.  A 
lady  stood  outside,  and  a  neat 
brougham  was  vanishing  round 
the  corner.  Even  in  the  darkness 
Middleton  was  struck  by  the 
grace  and  dignity  of  his  visitor's 
figure. 

"Mr.  Middleton's,  is  it  not?" 
she  asked,  in  a  very  sweet  voice. 

Middleton  bowed.  It  was  late 
for  a  call,  but  if  the  lady  ignored 
that  fact,  he  could  not  remind  her 
of  it.     Fortunately  there  was  no 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL.         173 

chance  of  Angela  coming  at  such 
an  hour.  He  led  the  way  to  his 
studio. 

"May  I  ask,"  he  began,  "to 
what  I  am  indebted  for  this 
honor?" 

"I  see  you  like  coming  to  busi- 
ness directly,"  she  answered,  her 
neatly  gloved  hands  busy  unpin- 
ning her  veil.  She  seemed  to  find 
the  task  a  little  difficult. 

"You  see,  it's  rather  late,"  said 
Middleton. 

"Not  at  all.  I  am  only  just 
up.  Well,  then,  to  business.  I 
hear  you  want  a  model  for  an 
Earthly  Love." 

"Exactly.  May  I  ask  if 
you " 

"If  I  am  a  model?  Oh,  now 
and  then — not  habitually." 

"You  know  my  requirements 
are  somewhat  hard  to  fulfill?" 

"I  can  fulfill  them,"  and  she 


174  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

raised  her  veil.  She  certainly 
could.  She  realized  his  wildest 
dreams — the  wildest  dream  of  poets 
and  painters  since  the  world  began. 
Middleton  stood  half-stupefied  be- 
fore her. 

"Well,  shall  I  do?"  she  asked, 
turning  her  smile  on  him. 

Middleton  felt  as  if  it  were  a 
battery  of  guns,  as  he  answered 
that  he  would  be  the  happiest 
painter  in  the  world  if  she  would 
honor  him. 

"Head  only,  of  course,"  she 
continued. 

"Of  course,"  said  he  hastily; 
"unless,  that  is,  you  will  give  me 
hands  and  arms  too." 

"I  think  not.  My  hands  are 
not  so  good."  And  she  glanced 
at  her  kid  gauntlets  with  a 
smile. 

"And — er — as  to  terms?"  he 
stammered. 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL.         175 

"Oh,  the  usual  terms,"  she 
answered  briskly. 

Middleton  hinted  at  pre-pay- 
ment. 

"I'm  not  allowed  to  take  that," 
she  said.  "Come,  I  will  ask  for 
what  I  want  when  the  time  comes. 
You  won't  refuse  me?" 

"It's  a  little  vague,"  he  said, 
with  an  uneasy  laugh. 

"Oh,  I  can  go  away."  And 
she  turned  toward  the  door. 

"Whatever  you  like,"  he  cried 
hastily. 

"Ah,  that's  better.  I  shall  not 
take  anything  of  great  value." 

She  gave  him  her  hand.  He 
ventured  on  a  slight  pressure. 
The  lady  did  not  seem  to  notice 
it,  and  her  hand  lay  quite  motion- 
less in  his. 

"To-morrow,  then?"  he  said. 

"Yes.  I  won't  trouble  you  to 
call  a  cab.     I  shall  walk." 


176  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

"Have  you  far  to  go?" 

"Oh,  some  little  way;  but  it's 
an  easy  road." 

"Can't  I  escort  you?" 

"Not  to-night.  Some  day,  I 
hope" — and  she  stepped  into  the 
street  and  disappeared  round  the 
corner. 

Punctually  the  next  day  she  re- 
appeared. Apart  from  her  incom- 
parable beauty — and  every  time 
she  came,  Middleton  was  more 
convinced  that  it  was  incompa- 
rable— she  was  a  charming  com- 
panion. She  was  very  well  read, 
and  her  knowledge  of  the  world 
was  wonderful. 

"I  wish  it  wasn't  rude  to  ask 
your  age!"  he  exclaimed  one  day. 

"Ah,  I  am  older  than  I  look. 
My  work  keeps  me  young." 

"Are  you  very  busy,  then?" 

"I  am  always  busy.  But  I 
don't  grudge  the  time  I  give  to 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL.         Ill 

you.  No,  don't  thank  me.  I  am 
to  be  paid,  you  know."  And  she 
laughed  merrily.  If  there  were  a 
flaw  in  her,  it  was  her  laugh. 
Middleton  thought  it  rather  a 
cruel  laugh. 

"Do  you  know,"  he  resumed, 
"you  have  never  told  me  your 
name  yet." 

"I  am  here  incognita." 

"You  will  tell  me  some  day?" 

"Yes,  you  shall  know  some 
day." 

"Before  we  part  forever?" 

"Perhaps  we  shall  not  part — 
forever." 

Middleton  said  he  hoped  not; 
but  what  would  Angela  say? 

"My  name  is  not  so  pretty  a 
one  as  your  fiancee's^"  the  lady 
continued. 

"How  do  you  know  I  am  en- 
gaged?" 

"I    always    know    that    sort    of 


178  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

thing.  It's  so  useful.  Angela 
Dove,  isn't  it?" 

"Yes;   I  hope  you  like  it?" 

"To  be  candid,  not  very  much. 
It  happens  to  have  unpleasant 
associations." 

It  was  fortunate  that  Angela 
was  staying  out  of  town.  Middle- 
ton  felt  that  the  two  ladies  would 
not   have    got   on    well   together; 

and He    checked     himself 

in  shame;  for  his  thought  had 
been  that  not  even  for  Angela 
could  he  send  the  stranger  away. 
Middleton  struggled  against  the 
treacherous  passion  that  grew 
upon  him ;  but  he  struggled  in 
vain.  He  was  guilty  of  postpon- 
ing the  finishing  of  his  panel  as 
long  as  he  could.  At  last  the  lady 
grew  impatient. 

"I  shall  not  come  after  to-day," 
she  announced.  "You  can  finish 
it  to-day." 


MIDDLETON'S  MODEL.         179 

"Oh,  hardly!"  he  protested. 

"I'll  stay  late;  but  I  can't  come 
again." 

Middleton  worked  hard,  and  by 
evening  the  panel  was  finished. 

"A  thousand  thanks,"  he  said. 
"And  now  you'll  have  something 
to  eat,  won't  you?" 

She  agreed,  and  they  sat  down 
to  a  merry  meal.  The  lady  sur- 
passed herself  in  brilliancy,  and 
her  mad  gayety  infected  Middle- 
ton.  Forgetful  of  his  honor  and 
allegiance,  he  leaned  over  to  toast 
his  guest,  with  a  passionate  gaze  in 
his  eyes.  Insensibly  the  evening 
sped  away ;  suddenly  the  clock 
struck  twelve. 

"I  am  going  now,"  she  said. 

"Ah,  you  won't  leave  me!" 
cried  Middleton. 

"For  the  moment." 

"But  when  shall  I  see  you 
again?" 


l8o  MlDDLETON,'S  MODEL. 

"As  soon  as  you  like,  but  not 
later  than  you  must." 

"You  are  charmingly  mysteri- 
ous. Tell  me  where  you  are  go- 
ing?" 

"To  ray  home." 

"If  you  won't  come  to  me,  I 
shall  come  to  you,"  he  insisted. 

"Yes,  you  will  come  to  me," 
she  answered,  smiling. 

"And  we  shall  be  together?" 

"Yes." 

"As  long  as  ever  I  like?" 

"Yes— longer." 

"Impossible!  Eternity  would 
not  be  too  long." 

"Nous  verrons^"  said  she,  with 
a  laugh. 

"At  least  you  will  write? 
You'll  send  me  your  picture?" 

"I  never  write,  and  you  have 
my  picture." 

"And  another  in  my  heart,"  he 
cried  hotly. 


MIDDLEtON'S  MODEL. 


ISI 


"I  have  tried  to  put  it  there." 
"But  give  me  some  token — any- 
thing—a   ribbon— a    glove— any- 
thing." 

"Well,  let  it  be  a  glove.     As  I 
go  I  will  give  you  a  glove." 

She   rose  from    her  chair    and 

rested  her  right  hand  on  the  table. 

"Till  we  meet  again!"  she  said. 

"I  am  yours  for  ever!"  he  cried, 

seizing  her  hand. 

"True!     true!"    she    answered 
triumphantly.    "You  are  mine  for- 
ever!" and  with  a  sudden  move- 
ment she  drew  her  arm  away  from 
him   and    left  on   the    table— her 
glove,    was    it,   or  her  hand?      It 
seemed   her    very   hand!    and  as 
Middleton   looked    up  he  had   a 
vision  of  a  blood-red  claw  shaken 
in  his  face,  and  devilish  laughter 
rattled  in  his  ears.     The  lady  was 
gone,    and    Middleton     fell    full 
length  on  his  studio  floor. 


102  MIDDLETON'S  MODEL. 

Middleton  is  a  very  devoted 
husband  to  Angela  Dove.  When 
he  is  well  and  cheerful,  he  blames 
himself  for  having  made  love  to  a 
model,  and  laughs  at  himself  for 
having  been  fool  enough  to  fancy 
— well,  all  sorts  of  rubbish.  But 
when  he  is  out  of  sorts  he  does  not 
like  to  be  complimented  on  his 
figure  of  Earthly  Love,  and  he 
gives  a  shudder  if  he  happens  to 
come  across  an  article  which  lies 
hidden  in  his  cupboard — a  perfect 
model  of  the  human  hand  covered 
with  black  kid;  the  model  is  hol- 
low, and  there  is  a  curious  black 
mark  inside  it. 

And  the  earl?  The  earl  was 
delighted  with  the  panel. 

"Was  she  a  professional 
model?"  he  asked. 

"She  made  it  a  matter  of  busi- 
ness with  me,"  said  Middleton  un- 
easily.   It  was  one  of  his  bad  days. 


MIDDLETOX'S  MODEL.         1S3 

"I  must  know  that  girl,"  con- 
tinued the  earl,  with  a  cunning 
look  in  his  eye. 

"I  expect  you  will  some  day." 

"What's  her  name?" 

'  'I  don't  know.  She  didn't  tell 
me." 

"Didn't  she  sign  anything  when 
you  paid  her?" 

"I  haven't  paid  her  yet." 

"But  you're  going  to?" 

"I — I  suppose  so,"  answered 
Middleton. 

"Well,  you'll  find  out  who  she 
is  then.  And,  I  say,  Middleton, 
just  let  me  know." 

"I  will  if  I  can — unless  you've 
found  it  out  before." 

The  earl  took  up  his  hat  with  a 
sigh. 

'  'A  glorious  creature ! "  he  said. 
"I  hope  I  shall  see  her  sometime." 

"I  think  it's  ver>'  likely,  my 
lord,"  said  Middleton. 


184  MIDDLETON S  MODEL. 

"Have  you  any  notion  where 
she  comes  from?" 

Middleton  compromised.  He 
said  he  understood  that  the  lady 
was  from  Monte  Carlo. 


MY  ASTRAL  BODY= 

HERE'S  no  doubt  at  all 
about  it,"  said  the  rajah, 
relighting  his  cigar. 
"It's  perfectly  easy,  if  you  know 
how  to  do  it.  The  skepticism  of 
the  West  is  nothing  less  than  dis- 
gusting." 

The  rajah  had  come  to  Oxford 
to  complete  his  education  and 
endue  himself  with  the  culture  of 
Europe;  and  he  sat  in  my  rooms, 
in  a  frock-coat  of  perfect  cut  (he 
always  wore  a  frock-coat),  smok- 
ing one  of  my  weeds  and  drink- 
ing a  whisky-and-soda.  The  rajah 
took  to  European  culture  with 
avidity,  and  I  have  very  little 
doubt  that  he  learned  many  new 
185 


l86  MY  ASTRAL   BODY. 

things  with  which  it  might  or  might 
not  be  expedient  to  acquaint  his 
fellow-countrymen  and  subjects 
when  he  returned  to  India.  But 
all  the  intellectual  interests  of 
Oxford  were  not  strong  enough  to 
wean  him  from  his  love  for  the 
ancient  lore  of  his  own  country, 
and  he  was  always  ready  to  ex- 
pound the  hidden  wisdom  of  the 
East  to  any  inquiring  spirit.  As 
soon  as  I  found  this  out,  I  culti- 
vated his  acquaintance  sedulously; 
for,  in  common  with  all  intelligent 
men  of  the  present  day,  I  took  a 
keen  interest  in  that  strange  learn- 
ing which  seemed  to  give  its  pos- 
sessors such  extraordinary  powers. 

"Can  you  do  it?"  I  asked. 

"I  should  hope  so,"  said  the 
rajah  contemptuously.  "If  I 
couldn't  do  that,  I'd  turn  Mahom- 
medan." 

"I  wish  you'd  teach  me," 


MV  ASTRAL  BODY.  1 87 

The  rajah  took  in  a  deep  puff 
of  smoke.  "You're  sure  you 
could  manage  it?"  he  asked. 

"I  beg  your  pardon?" 

"Well,  of  course,  like  anything 
else,  an  astral  body  must  be 
treated  with  tact,  or  it  gets  out  of 
hand." 

"Does  it?" 

"Why,  yes;  you  must  be  firm 
and  yet  kind.  Don't  let  it  take 
liberties,  or  you  don't  know  where 
it  will  land  you.  I  rather  doubt 
if  I  ought  to  show  you." 
,  I  implored  him  to  do  so.  I  was 
young,  rash,  self-confident,  and  I 
thought  I  could  manage  an  astral 
body  as  easily  as  I  did  the  dean. 

"Don't  blame  me  if  you  find  it 
too  much  for  you,  that's  all,"  said 
the  rajah.  "And  of  course  you 
must  promise  not  to  tell  anyone." 

"Oh,  must  I?" 

"Yes,   you   must;  because  it's 


l88  MV  ASTRAL   BODY. 

quite  irregular  in  me  to  show  you 
like  this.  You  ought,  by  rights, 
you  know,  to  go  to  Thibet  for 
seven  years," 

"That  would  be  rather  a  bore." 

■'Beastly,'*  said  the  rajah;  "but 
of  course  they  insist  on  it,  be- 
cause they  get  the  fees." 

He  swore  me  to  secrecy  by  all 
manner  of  oaths,  and  lastly  on  my 
word  as  a  gentleman;  and  then 
he  showed  me.  I  practiced  all 
that  evening,  and  was  tolerably 
proficient  by  the  time  the  rajah 
knocked  out  his  last  pipe  and  went 
off  to  bed.  I  must  not  tell  how 
it  is  done,  as  I  promised  not  to ; 
besides,  if  anyone  reads  this  nar- 
rative through,  he  will  never  want 
to  know. 

At  first  it  was  very  convenient. 
I  always  used  to  project  it  to 
chapel  instead  of  going  myself. 
It  did  capitally  there,  because  it 


MV  ASTRAL   BODY.  189 

had  only  to  behave  itself  and  hold 
its  tongue.  At  lectures  it  was  a 
failure ;  it  was  such  an  inattentive 
beggar  that  its  notes  were  worth 
nothing.  And  it  was  no  sort  of 
use  in  the  Torpid ;  I  was  told  that 
I  should  be  turned  out  if  I  went 
on  "sugaring"  like  that — there's 
no  pluck  or  endurance  in  these 
Orientals.  On  the  whole,  how- 
ever, I  was  very  well  satisfied  with 
it,  and  came  to  rely  upon  it  more 
and  more  for  all  the  unpleasant 
duties  of  life. 

"Well,  how  do  you  like  it?" 
asked  the  rajah  one  day  in  Quad. 

"My  dear  fellow,  it's  splendid," 
I  answered.  "It's  up  in  town, 
being  measured  for  trousers,  now. 
You  can't  think  how  much  trouble 
it  saves." 

The  rajah  smiled  and  shook  his 
head. 

"Be  moderate,"  he  said.    "You 


igo  MV  ASTRAL  BODY. 

mustn't  use  it  too  much,  or  it  '11 
presume  on  it," 

"Will  it?  What  will  it  do?" 
"Why,  if  it's  always  being  pro- 
jected, it's  as  likely  as  not  it  '11 
learn  the  trick  of  it,  and  take  to 
projecting  itself.  Then  you'll  be 
left  in  the  lurch." 

"What  shall  I  do  then?" 
"I  don't  see  what  you  can  do," 
said  the  rajah,  scratching  his  head. 
"Of  course,  I  should  merely  re- 
port it  at  headquarters;  but  you 
can't,  because  you've  no  business 
with  it  at  all." 

"Well,  I  shan't  grudge  it  a 
holiday  now  and  then,"  I  said 
magnanimously. 

The  rajah  Avas  right.  It  did 
begin  to  take  French  leave. 
Several  times  when  I  wanted  it  I 
found  it  had,  without  a  word  of 
apology,  projected  itself  off  to 
Iffley  or  somewhere,  and  was  not 


MV  ASTRAL  BODY.  IQ^ 

available.  I  spoke  very  severely 
to  it.  It  said  nothing,  but  list- 
ened with  an  unpleasant  sort  of 
smile.  ' '  We  all  have  our  duties, ' ' 
I  remarked,  "and  yours  is  to  be 
here" — and  I  pointed  to  my  chest 
— "when  you  are  wanted.  You're 
as  bad  as  a  scout." 

"I  ought  to  have  a  little  relax^:- 
tion,"  it  answered  sulkily. 

"I  never  heard  of  such  a  thing 
in  connection  with  you.  Isn't  it 
enough  for  you  to  meditate  in  four 
dimensions  when  you're  not  at 
work?  That  would  satisfy  most 
people." 

"It's  all  very  well  in  Thibet,"  it 
grumbled;  "but  a  fellow  doesn't 
come  to  Oxford  to  do  that." 

"One  would  think  you  had  noth- 
ing to  do  with  me.  You  seem  to 
forget  that  you  are  simply  a  pro- 
jection of  mine." 

We  had  some  high  words  and 


192  MV  ASTRAL   BODY, 

parted — I  mean,  united — in  very- 
bad  temper  with  one  another.  It 
was  in  the  middle  of  a  most  imper- 
tinent and  positively  threatening 
speech,  when  I  terminated  the  in- 
terview by  resuming  it.  It  was 
very  unreasonable  and  irritating, 
and  I  made  up  my  mind  to  ask  the 
rajah  to  speak  to  it  the  next  morn- 
ing. I  had  an  engagement  that 
evening,  or  I  would  have  done  it 
then.     How  I  wish  I  had! 

At  half-past  nine  I  went  to  an 
"At  Home"  at  Professor  Dray- 
ton's, As  a  rule,  "At  Homes" 
are  dull;  but  I  had  a  reason  for 
going  to  this  one.  The  professor 
had  a  very  pretty  daughter,  and  I 
was  vain  enough  to  think  that  my 
presence  was  welcome  to  her.  In 
fact,  we  were  great  friends,  and  I 
had  not  been  at  the  house  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  before  I  had  forgotten 
all   my   worries   with   my   unruly 


MV  ASTRAL  BODY.  193 

Astral  Body,  and  was  sitting  by 
Bessie  in  the  small  drawing  room, 
enjoying  myself  immensely.  Sud- 
denly— mysteriously — I  felt  some- 
thing like  a  violent  push.  Bessie 
vanished;  the  drawing  room  van- 
ished; and  I  found  myself  in  the 
High,  standing  in  dripping  rain, 
without  a  hat  or  coat.  I  stood 
still  in  bewilderment.  What  had 
happened?  A  moment  later  the 
proctor  was  upon  me.  I  gave  my 
name  and  college  in  a  mechanical 
way,  and  he  passed  on,  leaving  me 
still  standing  in  the  rain.  What 
had  happened?  Then  it  flashed 
across  my  mind.  I  understood  its 
threats.     It  had  projected  me! 

I  woke  up  next  morning,  deter- 
mined to  have  it  out  with  it.  I 
found,  as  I  expected,  that  it  had 
waited  till  I  was  asleep;  then  it 
slunk  in  and  united  without  my 
knowing  it.     I  went  and  paid  my 


l94  ^y  ASTRAL   BODV. 

fine,  and  then,  not  waiting  to 
breakfast,  I  proceeded  to  project 
it.  It  wouldn't  move!  I  tried 
again  and  again.  I  had  no  more 
power  over  it  than  a  child.  I 
knew  it  was  there ;  but  I  could  not 
move  it  an  inch.  In  wrath,  I 
jumped  up,  seized  my  cap,  and 
started  for  the  rajah's  rooms. 
The  rogue  saw  what  I  was  up  to. 
I  give  you  my  word,  I  had  not 
reached  the  door  when  it  projected 
me  most  viciously,  and  I  landed 
down  in  the  Parks. 

I  was  not  to  be  beaten.  I  came 
back  to  college  at  a  run,  and  made 
straight  for  the  rajah's  rooms.  It 
was  on  the  lookout  for  me.  As 
I  ran  by  my  oak,  which  I  had  to 
pass,  it  rushed  out  on  me,  united, 
and  projected  me  back  again  to 
Magdalen  Bridge.  This  hap- 
pened three  times.  Then  I  sat 
down  in  the  Parks,  just   where  I 


Mr  ASTRAL  BODY.  ^95 

dropped,  and  acknowledged  to 
myself  that  I  was  in  a  pretty  fix. 

I  had  a  fearful  week  of  it.  Of 
course,  wherever  I  was,  it  could 
unite  at  once  by  just  thinking  of 
me;  and,  directly  it  had  united, 
it  used,  I  believe  out  of  pure 
malice,  to  project  me  somewhere 
where  I  did  not  want  to  go.  It 
was  lucky  for  me  that  it  was  new 
to  the  business;  its  powers  were 
as  yet  very  undeveloped,  and, 
consequently,  it  did  not  carry  very 
far.  If  it  could,  I  am  sure  it 
would  have  sent  me  to  the  Anti- 
podes; but  as  it  was,  I  never 
went  further  than  the  University 
boat-house— a  pretty  tidy  step  on 
a  bad  morning.  Still,  it  was  im- 
proving; and  I  felt  that  I  must 
act  at  once  if  I  did  not  want  to  be 
a  permanent  wanderer  on  the  face 
of  the  earth. 

My  only  chance  was  to  engross 


196  71/ K  ASTRAL  BODY. 

its  attention  in  some  way,  so  that 
it  would  forget  me  for  a  little 
while,  and  leave  me  free  to  speak 
to  the  rajah.  I  pinned  all  my 
hopes  on  the  rajah.  Well,  one 
morning,  about  a  week  after  it 
first  projected  me,  I  went  for  a 
walk  in  Christchurch  Meadow. 
We  were  united,  and  it  had  actu- 
ally left  me  in  peace  ever  since 
breakfast.  I  hoped  its  better 
feelings  were  beginning  to  get  the 
mastery  of  it,  and,  in  order  to  see, 
I  tried  to  project  it.  No,  it 
wouldn't  move!  The  creature 
was  still  recalcitrant. 

Suddenly  I  saw  Bessie  Drayton 
just  in  front  of  me.  In  delight 
at  seeing  her,  I  forgot  about  it, 
and,  quickening  my  pace,  over- 
took her,  and  lifted  my  hat.  She 
smiled  divinely,  saying,  "Why, 
Mr.  Nares,  I  just  going  to 
write "      At     that      moment. 


MV  ASTRAL  BODY.  197 

when  I  was  listening  to  her  sweet 
voice,  it  projected  me  I  Could 
ill-nature  go  further?  But,  luckily, 
its  mind  Avas  not  really  concen- 
trated on  what  it  was  doing.  I 
believe  it  was  thinking  of  Bessie, 
and  consequently  it  only  carried 
about  a  hundred  yards.  I  landed 
behind  one  of  the  big  elms,  where 
I  lay  perdu  till  it  had  gone  by. 
It  and  Bessie  passed  me  together, 
and  it  was  grinning  from  ear  to 
ear,  and  looked  as  pleased  as 
Punch.  And  poor  Bessie,  who 
thought  she  was  talking  to  me, 
was  being  most  charming  to  it. 

I  did  not  waste  time  in  swearing. 
I  ran  like  the  wind  back  to  college, 
hoping  that  Bessie's  society  would 
prevent  it  coming  after  me  till  I 
had  spoken  to  the  rajah.  I  still 
retained  one  pull  over  it.  In 
order  to  unite,  it  had  to  come 
where  I  was;  it  could  not  resume 


igS  MV  ASTRAL   BODY. 

me  from  a  distance,  as  I  used  to 
resume  it;  so  if  it  united  now  it 
would  have  to  leave  Bessie. 

By  a  blessed  chance,  the  rajah 
was  at  home,  and  in  trembling 
haste  I  poured  my  story  into  his 
ear.     He  burst  out  laughing. 

"I  was  afraid  of  it!"  he  gasped, 
holding  his  sides.  "How  splen- 
did!" 

I  restrained  my  annoyance,  and 
after  a  time  he  became  a  little 
more  grave. 

"Do  help  me!"  I  urged.  "It 
may  unite  at  any  moment,  and 
project  me  the  deuce  knows 
where." 

"Oh,  it  '11  be  all  right  with  the 
young  lady." 

"Not  for  long.  She's  very  par- 
ticular, and  won't  let  it  walk  far 
with  her." 

"Oh,  then  we  must  act.  You 
don't  feel  it  yet?" 


MV  ASTRAL  BODY.  199 

"No;  but  do  be  quick!" 
The  rajah  sported  his  oak,  took 
off  his  coat,  lay  down  on  the  floor, 
and  went  into  strong  convulsions. 
I  regretted  putting  him  to  so 
much  trouble,  but  my  need  was 
urgent,  and  I  knew  that  he  was  a 
good-natured  man.  Presently  he 
cried  (and  I  was  just  getting 
alarmed  about  him) : 

"Are  you  there,  Nani-Tal?" 
"Certainly,"  said  an  old  white- 
haired    gentleman,    dressed   in    a 
sheet,  who  sat  in  the  rajah's  arm- 
chair. 

"That's  all  right,"  said  the 
rajah,  getting  up  and  putting  on  his 
coat.  "You  were  very  difficult." 
"We're  so  busy  just  now,"  said 
Nani-Tal  apologetically.  "I'm 
demonstrating  three  nights  a 
week,  and  the  preparations  take 
all  my  time." 

"Well,  you  can't  have  a  boom 


200  MY  ASTRAL  BODY. 

for  nothing,"  said  the  rajah,  smil- 
ing. 

"I  don't  complain,"  said  Nani- 
Tal;  "I  only  mentioned  it  to  ex- 
cuse myself  for  keeping  you  wait- 
ing. I  was  in  New  York  when 
you  began  materializing.  It's  a 
lively  city." 

"You  must  tell  him  all  about 
it,"  said  the  rajah  to  me;  "he 
won't  be  very  hard  on  us." 

Nani-Tal  was,  however,  rather 
severe.  He  said  it  was  too  bad  of 
the  rajah.  How  were  they  to  live, 
if  that  sort  of  thing  went  on? 
Then  he  turned  to  me,  and  added, 
"Of  course  you  couldn't  manage 
it.  If  you'd  gone  through  the 
course,  you  would  have  been  all 
right.  But  there,  it's  everything 
for  nothing  nowadays!" 

"My  friend  couldn't  go  to 
Thibet." 

"He  might  have  paid  the  fees 


A/y  ASTRAL   BODY.  20I 

anyhow,"  grumbled  Nani-Tal, 
"and  taken  correspondence  les- 
sons." 

We  smoothed  him  down  with 
the  promise  of  a  handsome  dona- 
tion, and  at  last  he  consented  to 
help  us.  It  was  only  just  in  time, 
for  at  that  very  moment  I  felt  my 
Astral  Body  uniting,  A  second 
later  it  made  a  violent  effort  to 
project  me;  of  course,  it  saw 
Nani-Tal,  and  knew  it  was  in  for 
it.  The  old  gentleman  was  too 
quick  for  it. 

"Come  out  of  that!"  he  cried 
imperiously,  and  the  wretch  stood 
in  the  middle  of  the  room. 

It  did  my  heart  good  to  hear 
Nani-Tal  fall  on  the  creature. 
After  giving  it  no  end  of  a  lecture, 
he  concluded,  "And  now,  young 
man,  you'll  just  go  back  to  your 
jackal  for  a  thousand  years,  and 
learn  better  manners." 


202  MV  ASTRAL   BODY. 

The  wretch  protested;  it  asked 
for  an  elephant  or  even  a  tiger, 
Nani-Tal  was  obdurate. 

"A  jackal  will  just  suit  you," 
he  said.  "Be  off!"  The  crea- 
ture vanished.  Simultaneously 
Nani-Tal  began  to  disintegrate. 

"Wait  a  bit!"  cried  the  rajah. 

'T  can't,  I'm  summoned  to  St. 
James'  Hall.  There's  a  large 
audience,  and  the  professor  has 
been  in  convulsions  seven  min- 
utes." 

I  tried  to  grasp  his  hand  in 
thanks.  'Tf  you  want  another," 
he  said,  "you  must  go  through  the 
course — the  full  course.  There's 
no  other  way.  Let  this  be  a  les- 
son to  you."  And  with  this  part- 
ing remark  he  disintegrated. 

The  rajah  lit  a  cigar,  and  I, 
lighter  at  heart  than  I  had  been 
for  many  days,  followed  his  ex- 
ample. 


Jliy  ASTRAL   BODY.  203 

"It  was  wrong  of  me,"  said  the 
rajah;   "I  won't  do  it  again." 

"It's  a  pity  it  turned  out  so 
badly, "  I  remarked  ;  "it  was  quite 
a  comfort  at  first." 

"They're  all  like  that,  unless 
you  keep  a  tight  hand  on  them. 
Shall  you  take  the  course?" 

"Not  I.  I've  had  enough  of 
it." 

"Perhaps  you're  right.  Excuse 
me;  I  have  to  go  to  the  Deccan 
on  business." 

He  fell  back  on  the  sofa,  appar- 
ently in  a  trance,  and  I  went  off 
to  the  dean's  lecture.  It  makes 
all  the  difference  whether  you 
know  how  to  do  a  thing  or  not. 


THE  NEBRASKA  LOAD- 
STONE. 

F  there  was  one  man  in 

college  whom  the  rajah 
thoroughly  and  heartily 
detested,  it  was  the  captain  of  the 
boat  club.  He  had  many  faults; 
he  was  very  tall  and  powerful,  and 
delighted  in  contrasting  the  Eng- 
lish physique  with  that  of  inferior 
races;  by  which  he  meant,  among 
others,  the  rajah's  race.  His 
manner  was  abrupt  and  overbear- 
ing, his  laugh  loud  and  unmusical. 
In  fact,  he  grated  horribly  on  the 
rajah ;  and  it  was  merely  the  final 
straw  when,  in  the  exhilaration  of 
a  bump  supper, — full,  as  the  rajah 
remarked  in  disgust,  of  cow  and 
204 


THE  NEBRASKA    LOADSTONE.  205 

Strong  drink,  —  he  called  that 
prince,  in  playful  chaff,  a  "nig- 
ger." The  rajah  swore  melodi- 
ously in  Hindustani,  and  I  saw 
that  he  meant  to  be  revenged. 

In  those  days  the  entertainment 
of  the  Nebraska  Loadstone  created 
?i  furore.  Everybody  went  to  see 
her,  and  everybody  came  away 
convinced  that  she  possessed  mar- 
velous powers.  Her  peculiar  gift 
— but  everybody  remembers  the 
details  of  the  performance,  and 
how  the  tricks  were  finally,  one  by 
one,  exposed,  so  that  her  adherents 
and  believers  were  driven  from 
one  position  to  another,  until  at 
last  they  had  to  fall  back  on  one 
single  performance  out  of  all  those 
that  the  Loadstone  gave,  and  main- 
tain that  on  that  occasion  at  least 
something  unexplained  and  inex- 
plicable did  really  happen.  It  is 
with  the  events  of  that  particular 


205   THE  NEBRASKA    LOADSTONE. 

evening  that  I  am  concerned.  I 
think  I  can  throw  some  light  on 
them. 

At  first,  however,  there  were 
many  believers  and  few  skeptics. 
The  dean  carefully  pointed  out 
that  Plato  nowhere  denied  the 
existence  of  odic  force;  and  the 
bursar,  who  was  generally  sup- 
posed to  be  little  better  than  an 
atheist,  declared  that  Spencer  in 
one  passage  impliedly  asserted  it; 
even  the  warden,  in  his  sermon, 
told  us  that  it  was  better,  accord- 
ing to  Bacon,  to  believe  two  errors 
than  refuse  one  truth — which  was, 
to  say  the  least  of  it,  sitting  on  the 
fence.  Rut  none  of  these  authori- 
ties shook  the  robust  skepticism  of 
the  captain  of  the  boat  club.  He 
knew  a  conjurer,  and  the  conjurer 
had  told  him  how  it  was  done,  and 
he  was  going  to  expose  the  Load- 
stone, 


THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE.  20? 

"But  why  haven't  you?"  I 
urged.     "She's  been  here  a  week." 

"He  will  not  be  too  hard  on  her 
at  first,"  said  the  rajah,  with  a 
little  sneer, 

"I'll  bust  her  up  this  very 
night,"  said  Waterer.  "I  would 
have  done  it  before,  only  I  was 
gated." 

The  excuse  was  good,  and 
Waterer  departed,  full  of  boastings 
and  self-confidence,  to  gather  to- 
gether a  large  number  of  the  noisy 
men,  and  make  a  pleasant  party  to 
"guy"  the  unhappy  Loadstone.  I 
stayed  to  smoke  a  pipe  with  the 
rajah. 

"Of  course  she's  a  fraud,"  said 
he;  "and  I  believe  that  animal 
really  has  got  hold  of  the  right 
explanation." 

"I  shall  go  and  see  it,"  I  an- 
nounced. 

After  a  moment's  silent  smok- 


2o8  THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE. 

ing,  the  rajah  looked  up  with  a 
twinkle  in  his  eye.  "So  shall  I — 
if  niggers  are  admitted." 

After  hall,  he  and  I  set  out 
together  for  the  town  hall.  We 
found  the  first  two  rows  of  stalls 
occupied  by  Waterer  and  his 
friends.  They  were  all  in  evening 
dress,  and  had  obviously  dined — 
not  in  hall.  The  rajah  and  I 
seated  ourselves  just  behind  them. 
The  room  was  full,  and  the  feats 
were  being  most  successful ;  each 
was  followed  by  general  applause, 
broken  only  by  some  gibes  from 
our  friends  in  front.  These  latter 
grew  so  pronounced  that  the  Load- 
stone's manager  at  last  came  for- 
ward and  pointedly  invited  one  of 
the  scoffers  to  submit  himself  to 
experiment. 

Now  was  Waterer' s  chance. 
He  rose  in  the  majesty  of  his  bulk, 
walked  on    to  the  platform,   and 


THE  NEBRASKA    LOADSTONE.  20g 

said  in  a  loud  voice,  as  he  settled 
himself  on  a  chair,  "If  the  lady 
can  move  me  one  foot  from  this 
chair,  I'll  give  her  a  pony!" 

The  Loadstone  advanced  and 
began  to  paw  him  about  in  her 
usual  fashion.  Waterer,  who  was 
sober  enough  to  have  lost  nothing 
but  his  shyness,  was  apparently 
too  many  for  her.  He  was  im- 
movable; and  cries  of,  "Now 
then !  when  are  you  going  to 
begin?"  and  so  on,  became 
audible.  Two  or  three  minutes 
passed,  and  the  Loadstone  turned 
with  a  gesture  of  despair  toward 
her  manager. 

"I  can't "  she  began. 

I  jumped  to  my  feet,  crying, 
"Wait  a  minute!     Look!" 

For  even  as  she  spoke,  there 
was  what  is  scientifically  called  a 
solution  of  continuity  between 
Waterer   and    his  chair.     Still  in 


210  THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE. 

a  sitting  posture,  but  sitting  on 
nothing,  he  was  at  least  two  inches 
from  the  wicker-work  of  the  chair, 
I  glanced  from  him  to  the  rajah. 
That  extraordinary  man  was  in 
deep,  placid,  profound  slumber. 
I  jogged  his  elbow  and  pinched 
his  arm;  he  showed  no  conscious- 
ness whatever,  I  looked  at  the 
Loadstone.  She  was  standing 
motionless  on  the  stage  about  a 
yard  from  Waterer,  Avith  one  hand 
outstretched  toward  him,  and  her 
eyes  fixed  on  his  ascending  figure; 
for  Waterer  was  gradually,  slowly, 
steadily  mounting  in  his  strange 
journey.  He  was  now  a  foot  from 
his  chair,  still  in  a  sitting  posi- 
tion— and  up,  up,  up  he  was  go- 
ing. The  wretch  was  white  as  a 
sheet,  and  gasping  with  fright  and 
bewilderment.  Thunders  of  ap- 
plause burst  from  the  audience. 
It  was  again  and  again  renewed ; 


THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE.  211 

but  the  Loadstone  did  not,  as  her 
custom  was,  bow  and  smile  in 
response.  She  still  stood  motion- 
less, and  Waterer  still  ascended. 

At  last,  at  a  height  of  fully 
twenty  feet  from  the  stage,  he 
stopped.  Simultaneously  the 
Loadstone  gave  a  loud  shriek  as 
she  fell  back  into  the  arms  of  the 
manager — and  the  rajah  awoke. 

"I  beg  your  pardon,"  he  said 
politely;  "I  was  drowsy.  Any- 
thing going  on?" 

"No;  he's  stopped  now,"  I 
answered,  my  eyes  eagerly  fixed 
on  Waterer. 

The  rajah  rose  from  his  seat 
with  a  yawn.  "There'll  be 
nothing  more  to-night,"  he  said. 
"Let's  go  home." 

"Go  home,  man! — with  that 
before  our  eyes!" 

The  rajah  shrugged  his  shoul- 
ders. 


212  THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE. 

"She  won't  do  anything  more," 
he  repeated.  "Look  at  her;  she's 
quite  done  up." 

And,  indeed,  the  Loadstone 
looked  half  dead  as  she  gazed 
fearfully  up  at  Waterer.  Her 
demeanor  was  not  that  of  a 
triumphant  performer. 

"Do  sit  down,"  I  urged;  "we 
must  see  the  end  of  it." 

With  a  weary  sigh,  the  rajah  sat 
down,  saying,  "I'm  not  sure  you 
will,  you  know." 

While  we  talked,  the  audience 
grew  impatient.  However  won- 
derful a  feat  may  be,  the  public 
likes  to  have  things  kept  moving. 
They  thought  Waterer  had  been 
in  the  air  long  enough,  and  there 
were  cries  of  "That  'lido!  Let 
him  down!"     "Give  us  another." 

The  manager  held  a  hasty  con- 
ference with  the  Loadstone:  he 
semeed     to    urge    her;    but    she 


THE  NEBRASKA    LOADSTONE.  213 

shook  her  head  again  and  again, 
and  would  do  nothing  but  lie  back 
in  a  chair,  and  pass  her  hand  to 
and  fro  over  her  head.  The  rajah 
looked  at  her  with  a  slight  smile. 
The  clamor  increased.  I  think  a 
sort  of  panic — an  angry  panic — 
seized  the  audience. 

"Bring  him  down!  Bring  him 
down!"  they  cried,  pointing  to 
the  pallid  Waterer,  who  sat  as 
rigid  as  a  trussed  fowl. 

After  another  despairing  appeal 
to  the  Loadstone,  the  manager 
came  forward  and  made  a  lame 
speech.  The  Loadstone  was  ex- 
hausted with  her  unparalleled 
exertions.  She  must  rest;  pres- 
ently she  would  bring  him  down. 
Then  Waterer's  friends  arose  and 
ascended  the  platform.  They 
walked  about,  they  stood  on  one 
another's  shoulders;  they  made  it 
clear  that  no  cords  held  Waterer. 


214  THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE. 

A  pair  of  steps  was  called  for  and 
brought.  Placed  on  a  sturdy 
table,  they  just  enabled  a  man 
to  reach  Waterer's  feet.  One 
mounted  amidst  intense  excite- 
ment. Turning  to  the  rajah,  I- 
exclaimed,  "Look I" 

He  was  asleep  again ;  and  the 
Loadstone  stood  stiffly  upright, 
beckoning  toward  Waterer.  Slowly 
and  gradually  he  descended,  leav- 
ing the  man  on  the  ladder  grasp- 
ing at  empty  air,  till  he  sat  again 
on  his  seat.  The  applause  burst 
out,  and  the  Loadstone  sank  back 
in  a  faint  on  the  floor.  The  rajah 
awoke,  and  the  manager  dropped 
the  curtain,  hiding  the  Loadstone, 
Waterer,  and  his  friends  from 
our  view. 

"Give  me  your  arm,"  said  the 
rajah;  "lam  tired."  I  escorted 
him  to  a  cab,  and  we  drove  home. 

The    Loadstone   gave    no   per- 


THE  NEBRASKA   LOADSTONE.  215 

formance  the  next  evening:  she 
was  too  fatigued ;  and  Waterer 
was  absent  from  the  boat  and 
from  the  sight  of  men  two  days. 
When  he  reappeared  he  made  no 
reference  to  his  friend  the  con- 
jurer. He  slunk  about  the  Quad, 
looking  very  pale  and  upset.  I 
met  him  once,  when  I  was  with  the 
rajah,  on  our  way  to  lecture.  The 
rajah  smiled  urbanely  at  Waterer, 
and  said  tome,  when  he  had  passed: 

"It's  such  a  rude  thing  to  call  a 
gentleman  a  nigger,  isn't  it?" 

Waterer  has  not  done  it  again. 
And  the  Loadstone  never  did  that 
trick  again.  She  took  the  pony, 
though.  The  manager  called  on 
Waterer,  and  asked  for  a  check. 
I  think  that  incident  pleased  the 
rajah  most  of  all. 

"It  is  a  ready  utilization  of  the 
unexpected, ' '  he  remarked,  "which 
does  our  friend  much  credit." 


A  SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL 

R.  ALOYSIUS  TAP- 
PEN  HAM,  of  Stamford 
Road,  was  a  dealer  in 
frauds.  It  must  not  be  under- 
stood from  this  statement  that  he 
was  either  a  company-promoter  or 
the  manager  of  a  philanthropic 
undertaking.  On  the  contrarj^, 
he  was  as  honest  a  man  of  busi- 
ness as  you  would  find  in  London, 
and  he  earned  his  living  by  dis- 
covering and  introducing  new 
attractions  in  the  shape  of  "Won- 
ders," "Phenomenons,"  and  so 
forth.  The  music-halls  were  Mr. 
Tappenham's  best  customers,  and 
when  he  successfully  launched  a 
new  impostor,  he  reaped  a  hand- 
216 


A   SUCCESSFUL   REHEARSAL.     217 

some  return  in  the  way  of  com- 
missions on  the  salary  of  the  im- 
postor and  the  profits  of  the  en- 
trepreneur. All  his  protege's  were 
a  success — a  fact  chiefly  to  be  at- 
tributed to  his  unvarying  habit  of 
insisting  that  he  himself  should  be 
shown  "how  it  was  done."  He 
promised  and  observed  absolute 
secrecy;  but,  as  he  always  said,  he 
could  not  properly  judge  of  the 
merit  of  any  particular  fraud,  un- 
less he  were  allowed  a  private  view 
of  the  machinery  by  which  it  was 
worked.  Some  few  years  ago,  in 
the  very  prime  of  life  and  the  full 
tide  of  a  profitable  trade,  Mr, 
Tappenham  suddenly  retired  from 
business.     This  was  the  reason: 

One  day  Mr.  Tappenham  dis- 
covered a  treasure  in  the  shape  of 
a  very  attractive  young  lady  whose 
name  was  Hopkins,  but  who  pro- 
posed to  call  herself  Mile.  Claire, 


2lS   A    SUCCESSFUL   REHEARSAL, 

Claire  was  hardly  suitable  to 
the  music-halls;  Mr.  Tappenham 
thought  that  she  was  above  that, 
and  proposed  to  "run"  her  him- 
self in  Bond  Street,  on  half-profit 
terms.  Her  specialty  was  the 
production  of  any  spirit  you  liked 
to  order.  She  received  in  a  dimly 
lighted  room ;  you  told  her  who 
you  were,  and  whose  spirit  you 
wished  to  interview,  and  forth- 
with, without  any  nonsense  of 
hand-holding  or  table-turning,  she 
caused  to  appear  a  shadowy  yet 
clearly  perceptible  figure  which 
was  exactly  like  the  person  you 
named,  spoke  with  that  person's 
voice,  and  exhibited  full — or  rea- 
sonably  full — knowledge  of  every- 
thing which  that  person,  and  that 
person  only,  might  be  expected  to 
know. 

Mr.     Tappenham     was     much 
struck  with  the  dexterity  of  this 


A    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL.    219 

performance.  Of  course,  when 
explained,  it  resolved  itself  into 
some  clever  optical  illusion,  a  little 
ventriloquism,  and  a  good  deal 
of  tact  in  returning  to  the  inquirer 
in  another  form  information 
pumped  out  of  him  beforehand. 
The  materials  were  simple,  the 
result  was  highly  artistic ;  and  Mr. 
Tappenham  determined  to  furnish 
the  only  thing  needful  to  set  Lon- 
don aflame  with  the  new  marvel — 
namely,  capital.  However,  be- 
fore taking  the  last  irreparable 
step,  he  decided  on  a  final  trial.  He 
prepared  the  mise-en-schie  with  due 
completeness,  and  invited  Mile. 
Claire  to  experiment  on  himself. 

"Consider  me  as  one  of  the 
public,"  he  said,  "and  give  me  a 
hair-raiser." 

Mile.  Claire  protested  that  he 
was  too  much  behind  the  scenes; 
but,   on  being  pressed,  she   con- 


220  A    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL. 

sented  to  try,  and  asked  Mr.  Tap- 
penham  to  name  his  spirit. 

He  thought  for  a  moment,  and 
then  said,  "When  I  was  a  young 
man,  I  knew  a  girl  called  Nellie 
Davies — a  pretty  girl,  my  dear.  I 
dare  say  I  didn't  treat  her  over 
well;  but  that's  neither  here  nor 
there.     Let's  have  her." 

Clever  little  Mile.  Claire  asked 
a  question  or  two — and  Mr.  Tap- 
penham  admired  the  neat  and  ap- 
parently undesigned  nature  of  her 
questions — and  then  set  to  work, 
after  drawing  the  curtains  a  shade 
closer,  and  turning  the  light  a 
trifle  lower. 

Mr.  Tappenham  sat  comfort- 
ably in  an  armchair,  his  hands 
crossed  over  his  white  waistcoat, 
and  a  smile  of  satisfaction  on 
his  face.  Presently  the  shadowy 
shape  began  to  form  itself  a  yard 
or  two  from  Mr.  Tappenham. 


A   SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL.    221 

'  'Capital,  capital ! "  he  chuckled. 
"That  '11  fetch  'em."  The  shape 
grew  more  definite. 

"Will  that  do?"  asked  Mile. 
Claire  triumphantly.     " Is  it  like?' ' 

"Now,  by  Jove,  it  is  rather! 
Make  it  speak." 

Mile.  Claire  laughed,  and,  pro- 
jecting her  voice  to  the  shape, 
began  in  low,  sweet,  sad  tones: 
"You  summoned  me.  What  do 
you  desire  of  your  dead  friend?" 

She  stopped,  laughing  again, 
and  said,  "It's  no  use,  when 
you're  up  to  it  beforehand." 

Mr.  Tappenham  did  not  answer 
her.  He  sat  looking  at  the  shape, 
and  seemed  to  be  listening  in- 
tently. 

"Shall  I  go  on?"  she  inquired. 

Mr.  Tappenham  took  no  notice. 

"What's  the  matter  with  him?" 
thought  Mile.  Claire.  "I  shan't 
go  on  if  he's  not  listening." 


222/1    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL. 

Assuming  her  pretended  voice 
again,  she  said,  "I  will  try  to  for- 
give. Farewell,  farewell!"  and, 
with  a  merry,  boisterous  laugh, 
she  displaced  the  arrangement 
which  produced  the  illusion,  and 
said  to  Mr.  Tappenham: 

"Now  are  you  satisfied?"  Then 
she  added,  in  a  tone  of  surprise, 
"Whatever  is  the  matter?"  For, 
as  she  looked,  the  expression  of 
his  face  changed  from  attention 
to  surprise,  from  surprise  to  un- 
easiness. He  turned  to  her  nnd 
said,  with  a  forced  smile,  "It's  too 
clever — a  sight  too  clever.  That  '11 
do;  stop  it,  please." 

"Stop  it?" 

"Yes.  I've  had  enough.  It's 
— it's  damned  absurd,  but  it's  get- 
ting  on  my  nerves.  Stop  it,  I 
say — stop  it!"  His  voice  rose  at 
the  end  almost  into  a  cry. 

"Why,  I  have  stopped  it  this 


A    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL.     223 

three  minutes!"  she  answered  in 
surprise. 

His  eyes  had  wandered  from 
her  to  where  the  shape  had  been; 
but  at  her  last  words  he  turned  to 
her  again  with  a  start.  "What? 
No,  no!  No  nonsense!  Come, 
now,  be  a  good  girl  and  stop  it. 
I've  had  enough." 

"Are  you  drunk?"  asked  Mile, 
Claire  impatiently.  "It's  all 
over." 

"I  won't  be  made  a  fool  of," 
said  he  angrily.  "Stop  it,  or  not 
a  farthing  do  you  get  from  me." 

"Heaven  bless  the  man,  he's 
mad!"  exclaimed  the  lady,  who 
began  to  be  a  little  uncomfortable 
herself.  It  is  an  eerie  thing  to  see 
a  man  looking  hard  at — nothing, 
and  listening  intently  to — nothing. 

Suddenly  he  jumped  up  and 
ran.;^  toward  Mile,  Claire.  He 
seized  her  by  the  arm,  and  cried, 


224/1    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL. 

"Stop,  you  little  devil,  stop! 
Do  you  want  to  madden  me?  I 
never  did  it,  I  never  did.  At 
least,  I  never  meant  it — so  help 
me,  God,  I  never  meant  it." 

"Mr.  Tappenham,  you're 
dreaming.  There's  nothing  there. 
I'm  saying  nothing." 

"She's  coming!  she's  com- 
ing!" he  cried.  "Take  her 
av/ay !  take  her  away ! ' ' 

Mile.  Claire  looked  at  his  face. 
Then  she  too  gave  a  shriek  of 
fright,  and,  hiding  her  face  in  her 
hands,  sank  on  the  floor,  sobbing. 
She  saw  nothing.  But  what  was 
that  face  looking  at? 

As  for  Mr.  Tappenham,  he  fled 
into  the  corner  of  the  room.  And 
when  Mile.  Claire  recovered  her- 
self enough  to  draw  back  the  cur- 
tains, and  let  in  the  blessed  sun, 
he  lay  on  the  floor  like  a  man 
dead. 


A    SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL.     225 

Mile.  Claire  was  a  good  girl. 
She  had  a  mother  and  two  little 
brothers  to  keep :  so  she  stuck  to 
the  business ;  but  she  never  liked 
it  very  much  after  that  day.  Mr. 
Tappenham  could  afford  to  retire, 
and  he  did  retire.  He  lives  very 
quietly,  and  gives  large  sums  in 
charity.  Mile.  Claire  knows  all 
the  tricks  that  ever  were  invented ; 
she  is  a  thorough-going  little  skep- 
tic, and  believes  in  ^nothing  that 
she  does  not  see,  and  in  very  little 
of  what  she  does.  Therefore  she 
merely  exemplifies  feminine  il- 
logicality when  she  thinks  to  her- 
self, as  she  cannot  help  thinking 
now  and  then: 

"I  wonder  what  he  did  to  Nellie 
Davies!" 

She  told  me  about  it,  and  I 
believed  her  when  she  said  that 
she  was  not  playing  a  trick  on  Mr. 
Tappenham.      But    perhaps    she 


226  A   SUCCESSFUL  REHEARSAL. 

was  deceiving  me  also ;  if  so,  that 
is  an  explanation. 

I  repeated  the  story  to  a  scien- 
tific man.  He  said  that  it  fur- 
nished an  interesting  instance  of 
the  permanence  of  an  optical  im- 
pression after  the  removal  of  the 
external  excitant.  That  is  an- 
other explanation. 

Or  it  may  have  been  the  work- 
ing of  conscience:  that  is  an 
explanation  in  a  way,  though  an 
improbable  one,  because,  in  spite 
of  many  opportunities,  Mr.  Tap- 
penham's  conscience  had  never 
given  him  any  inconvenience  be- 
fore     It  has  since. 


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A  love  tragedy  of  old  London,  and  four 
short   tales.     By  Jerome  K.  Jerome. 

Illustrated. 

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true  to  the  best  there  is  in  human  nature  .  .  . 
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dents being  compressed  within  its  narrow  limits." 
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TEN    BRINK'S    FIVE    LECTURES    ON 
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A  HISTORY  OF  THE  NOVEL 

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KALIDASA'S  SHAKUNTALA,  OR  THE 
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HEINE'S  LIFE  TOLD  IN  HIS  OWN 
WORDS. 

Edited  by  Karpeles.     Translated  by 

Arthur    Dexter.       With    portrait. 

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Lord.     i2mo,  $1.25. 

"  The  relations  of  the  two  principal  characters 
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A  very  good  novel. — The  Nation. 

Mr.  Ford's  able  political  novel. 

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HON.  PETER  STIRLING, 

AM  wliat  PeoDle  tlionglit  of  Him. 

By  PAUL  LEICESTER  FORD. 


t2mo.    31.50. 


The  Nation  iunh&T  says  he  throws  "floods  of 
light  on  the  raison  (fetre,  origin,  and  methods  of 
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cities.  .  .  So  strongly  imagined  and  logically 
drawn  that  it  satisfies  the  demand  for  the  ap- 
pearance of  truth  in  art.  .  .  Telling  scenes  and 
incidents  and  descriptions  of  political  organiza. 
tion,  all  of  which  are  literal  transcripts  of  life  and 
fact — not  dry  irrelevancies  thrown  in  by  way  of 
imparting  information,  but  lively  detail,  needful 
for  a  clear  understanding  of  Stirling's  progress 
from  the  humble  chairmanship  of  a  primary  to 
the  dictator's  throne.  .  .  In  the  use  of  dramatic 
possibilities,  Mr.  Ford  is  discreet  and  natural,  and, 
without  giving  Stirling  a  heroic  pose,  manages  to 
win  for  him  very  hearty  sympathy  and  belief. 
Stirling's  private  and  domestic  story  is  well  knit 
with  that  of  his  public  adventures." 

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riots,  we  have  had  more  or  less  in  fiction,  but  noth- 
ing like  this.  .  .  Pages  which  read  like  actual  his- 
tory. .  .  A  fine,  tender  love  story.  .  .  A  very 
unusual,  but,  let  us  believe,  a  possible,  character 
.  .  .  Peter  Stirling  is  a  man  s  hero.  .  .  Very 
readable  and  enjoyable." 

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ByJEROMEK.  JEROME„ 

A  UTHOR'S  EDITION. 

JOHN  INGERFIELD. 

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